Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
Mother was baptized while carrying me. Father and two older siblings raised as Witnesses. Mother and father divorced in the 70's. Father re-married and had a son 20 years my junior. Mother became an alcoholic kicked our us kids (ages 13, 16, 18). Three kids stayed with the Org. Both parents out.
Were you a born in or a convert?
1st gen born-in.
Are your parents / family JWs?
Father was df'ed and mother became inactive for 25 years. Just recently start becoming active again. Older sister still a Witness. older borther currently disfellowshipped but working to become reinstated. Brother hasn't spoken to me in 10 years (father's funeral). Minimal contact with older sister.
Pretty much alone.
How many generations have been JWs?
2
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
I was an auxiliary pioneer in my senior year of high school and reg pioneer immediately upon graduation. Served where the need was great and learned French. Accepted into Bethel a year later. Became a MS from age 20 workjing in magazine mailing dept. Transferred to Legal Department after 4 years, transferred to Admin which included reception, ans support for Service desk and Writing Dept. Became an elder and Bethel Elder. Wrote articles fo the Kingdom Ministry and for both the Watchtower and Awake. Was one of the few people named in an experience in an Awake article "A Good Samaritan"
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes I did. Until I was challenged to prove the "This generation" belief using only the Bible (circa 1994). Helped write the new understanding article in 1995. Left Bethel in June 95.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
Aged 15
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
Disfellowshipping. Couldn't understand how my father (no longer smoling) could be annihalated by God simply because he smoked for a while but yet was a great man. Kind, generous, gave back to community, loving father yet he was to be shunned).
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Questioned on my own and did my own research. After deciding to leave Bethel found H20. Moderated it for a while, then came to JWD after it was created. Read and challenged the Bergman-esque type of apostate while in Legal, but was stumped by my own research into Scripture and historical facts.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
It was pretty much like a divorce of a childhood sweetheart after being together for 20+ years adding the whole God is Love aspect. In a word devastating and very much alone.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
I pretty much faded but with a twist. I told my Cong I was nmoving to Massachussetts and gave them my father's address as the mailing location for my service records. Once mailed (and they were along with a cautionary letter about my being weak) I disappeared. No elders were looking for me and previous elders washed their hands.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
No But over time I have helped dozens intheir departure.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
I only have a real relationship with my step mother and kid brother (half-brother).
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Yep.
How long have you now been out?
Mentally 20 years or so – technically 15 years.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Peace of mind or else suicide
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Have created a REAL life. I am known as a humanitarian. I help people in real emergencies to get better.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
I miss family and some of the social aspects of being in a large communtiy.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
No regrets. "To thine own self be true". I fell better about 6 months of my new life helping people than I do about my entire history as a JW
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
Agnostic or else combo of Aboriginal/Celtic belief structure. Very connected with nature.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
It is a crutch and for the most part a scam. Very little time or patience with organizaed religion. I do however respect people's choice to belief as they wish.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
NOPE
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Lots – Some are awesome, some are needing support and some are just way out there. Welcome to the human race
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
I stay in touch with a few EX-JWs but mostly it is a part of my past. Most friends are through mutual interests.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Rarely
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
I pity those still trapped in the mindset but have animosity about the Organization itself.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Most of the time I am "Not interested" I have engaged them once at the door for 2 hours. Haven't been back since.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
I am more the tend to the wounded. I have been on TV and have testified in court against the WT. But for the most part I would rather just be there to help others as they figure out their path.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Demonstrating Unconditional love. I have supported DF'ed people as they sought reinstatement. Most have trouble dealing with the paradox of having to shun the one person who was there for them while they were down
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
I would love to see them come to an end but it would leave a lot of vulnerable people open to other, potentially more dangerous cults.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Everything one experiences impacts their current life. I have taken some great things (public speaking) and used that experience in my new life. It has crippled me in how I approach some social elements but I am working on that
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
Normal relationships. Am still distrustful and awaiting evidence of conditional love Knowing every relationship can end if you make a single mistake does impact how you go into new relationships.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Curse
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Living. Enjoying time, people and new experiences.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
None
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
As I stumble across people leaving or thinking of leaving more time is spent. Just found out a cousin was disfellowshipped and I wil lbe spending significant time with her..
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Some are extremists, some need psychiatric help most most are just big hearted people who have been betrayed.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
I will always make myself available to help but it is nowhere the preocuupation it was 10 years ago
Do you fear the future?
Not in a JW sense. Ifear what upsets and 'course corrections' our evolution will be facing soon.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Keep an open mind and be confident in you. There is a reason who are doubting and you need to trust that gut instinct. Prepare for a soft fall by making new friends outside the faith. Social support makes all the difference.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
If I could go back I would tell the High School version fo me to accept the Scholarships, get the education.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
None. I have had a very fulfilling life since I left. I received my paramedic designation, I have been to multiple International disasters and helped people. I have helped feed, provided water, shelter to literally hundreds of thousands. I have saved lives not with some dream of everlasting life but have provided life saving treatment and items NOW.
None.