Interview with TD

by TD 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TD
    TD

    I'm not an 'apostate' in the technical sense, but many of these questions did strike a chord:

    Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

    Grandparents were contemporaries of Russell. One pair liked what they heard and were loosely associated with the Bible Students. Rutherford came along and things took an anti-Semitic turn which alienated most of their children.

    Were you a born in or a convert?

    Neither. My parents attended Memorial once in awhile, but didn't became serious about the JW's until I was late teen/early 20's. I studied with the JW's, and accepted it for awhile, but was too independant at that point for it to really take. During that window in time, I married a JW. We were both way too young, but that's fairly common in this faith from what I've seen.

    Are your parents / family JWs?

    Yes. Parents are very gung-ho JW's today.

    How many generations have been JWs?

    Two counting my aged parents

    Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)

    N/A - No.

    Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?

    Yes

    Did you get baptised? When and why?

    No.

    What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?

    JW views of science in the 60's were laughable even at the time. I remember the assembly with the larger-than-life models of the heart and brain lighting up and arguing with each other. I wanted to crawl under my seat.

    Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?

    This was way before the internet.

    How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?

    Relatively painless

    Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?

    N/A

    Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?

    No

    How were your family relations affected by your decision?

    Things have been fine for many years. It has only been in the last year that things have taken a turn for the worse.

    Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?

    N/A

    How long have you now been out?

    Nearly forty years.

    Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?

    N/A

    What are you most proud of achieving since you left?

    Raising three children who could think for themselves and who rejected this religion out of hand.

    Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?

    Back in the 60's, the congregation really was an extended family in many ways. I miss that sometimes, but to be fair, I'm sure many JW's do too. That is a bygone era today.

    Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?

    No regrets

    Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?

    I am agnostic

    How do you now feel about religion in general?

    I respect the good things done by religion. --Honestly not sure if those things really counterbalance the bad though...

    Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?

    None.

    Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?

    I've met a few here and there. No group meetups though.

    Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?

    Mostly regular people.

    Do you tell people about your JW past?

    Sometimes. Most of them don't get it though.

    Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?

    Animosity towards the mean ones. Pity towards the nice ones.

    How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?

    I am polite. Knocking on doors is no fun at all from what I remember. If all they want to do is leave some literature and be on their way, I'm happy to take it. If they want to talk, I'm more than happy to talk.

    Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)

    Tend the wounded. You can't fix stupid.

    What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?

    Depends on the person. People my age know that the whole proposition has failed at this point. You can see it in their faces.

    Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?

    It will change or die. They have little choice.

    How has your life been impacted by your JW past?

    I've been married to an active JW for 35+ years. It has not always been a picnic. We had a medical emergency involving a child and blood. I did what needed to be done, which did not make me popular with family.

    Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?

    No

    JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?

    N/A

    How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?

    N/A

    Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?

    Yes

    How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?

    Very little. Less than an hour a week.

    What do you think of the ex-JW community?

    There is something endearing about people who've suddenly discovered something new. I feel a great deal of affection for them.

    Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?

    Possibly, although I think my wife will be out by then.

    Do you fear the future?

    No

    What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?

    Don't be afraid.

    What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?

    Invest in Microsoft. DOS 3.3 is not the end.

    Do you have any regrets about life since you left?

    No.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    How were your family relations affected by your decision?

    Things have been fine for many years. It has only been in the last year that things have taken a turn for the worse.

    I wish the best for you and your family. You have done good by them.

  • TD
    TD

    Thank you, Jgnat.

    Things could not be better with immediate family. My wife handed out Halloween candy this year. (--Stole a page from your book on that. That is her natural self) and we'll do holiday lights again this year.

    I believe something has been said behind closed doors that has affected extended family though.

  • Simon
    Simon

    Back in the 60's, the congregation really was an extended family in many ways. I miss that sometimes, but to be fair, I'm sure many JW's do too. That is a bygone era today.

    When they were a much smaller group, even back in the 70s, it all seemed "cosier" and people were closer. There didn't seem to be the same amount of membership churn as there is today and while they have grown numerically I don't believe many JWs today are as dedicated as the old-timers were. One reason the assemblies are now 2 or 3 (short) days max instead of the 7-day, 8-hour endurance fests of old is that they just couldn't get even a sizeable minority of their members to attend them now like they did (and that is with easier access to transportation than 40-50 years ago).

    I remember our cong doing some fun things when were kids but that all stopped as the whole thing became more 'corporate' - all presentation and no soul.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Blondie has mentioned that there used to be picnics and other social events until the trouble at Bethel. After that spontaneous gatherings were squelched.

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    I feel a great deal of affection for them.-TD

    Thanks TD for helping us get to know you better. I felt that from you, thanks for Max Jammer, I am enjoying the read very much. I am halfway through, and will read it repeatedly. Thank you for the lovely gift TD.

    Take care Sam xx

  • besty
    besty

    great stuff TD - thanks for sharing,,,

  • Ruby456
    Ruby456

    I really like your story TD

  • konceptual99
    konceptual99

    Blondie has mentioned that there used to be picnics and other social events until the trouble at Bethel. After that spontaneous gatherings were squelched.

    There certainly used to be more congregation events in my younger days. Nowadays ones are free to host an event and invite all in the congregation but nothing can be announced from the platform, nothing can be endorsed by the congregation and no liability is accepted by the congregation. Larger events, even old school "gatherings" are still frowned on.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Thanks for sharing T D .. Your posts are always worth reading and this is no exception

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