Hello everyone! I could use some advice

by SnailsPace2 28 Replies latest social family

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Please try and avoid him spending a single moment more of his life in this destructive cult. I was born in and only left at 41, what a wasted life, what a wasted childhood, full of irrational guilt and fear. Dont let him end up like that.

  • cofty

    Just another thought. As a child I would have argued compellingly that I would rather die than have a blood transfusion. It would have sounded totally like it was my own decision.

  • dazed but not confused
    dazed but not confused

    My son was 3 going on 4 when my wife realized she didn’t want him going anymore. I was already out about a year and she was early on in her fade. My MIL who lived down the street wanted to take him in service and meetings when Mrs Dazed couldn’t make it. We told her (MIL) that I didn’t want him attending the meetings anymore. She didn’t put up a fuss, at least not to me.

    Even at that young age, he kept saying that he wanted to go to the meetings. He continued to ask to see 2 of his friends for several months from the hall. We would make up reasons why we couldn’t see them anymore. Eventually he stopped asking after making new friends with several of our neighbors. My wife stopped all together a couple months after my son turned 4.

    My daughter was not even 1 when this all happened.

    I can imagine, based on how smart he is, if he was allowed to continue past the age of 5 it would have gotten much harder. I would recommend getting to know your neighbors with kids his age or kids from his school and allowing him to hang out as much as possible with NON JWs. Going to birthdays ect. The quicker he starts breaking free the quicker he will forget the brainwashing. he's a bright boy. He understands a lot of the JW doctrine already.

    Good luck and welcome.

  • Gayle

    Concerned if he already believed his young friends would be destroyed at 'A,' that JWs and grandparents will reinforce an already indoctrinated judgement that this would include his parents too. Beware!

    A young child doesn't need to know anything else but love, joy and peace and respect for his parents. You have the right and responsibility to provide security and unconditional love for him. The JW life for youth is to feel always guilty and feel love from God and JW organization is only conditional and that God will 'destroy' those that disobey. Is this what you want for your son? This is not healthy for a young child to grow up with this complexity and contradiction.

    You can provide simple little Bible story books if you wish, for his age appropriate. WT programs don't have age appropriate programs. Keep him mentally challenged for his age. Have teaching dvds and books available for him. Find some friends for him through school or good neighborhood friends.

    Please don't give up on 'your' parenting concerns and abilities, over to your in-laws. They had their chance and opportunity with their son. Must be a reason why he has a more 'moderate' belief concern for his son. The WT is not a 'moderate' religion but it is extreme in manipulative control.

    I had 5 children when I realized that the WT is not true. It was gradual for me. Kids adapt very easily. They were happy with the changes. Sports were big for them. Then there's music and arts too. Having school friends was great for them. School work and learning was high value, encouragment all along the way for college some day. There's plenty to be busy about and having a positive attitude along the way. There are the normal day to day things in life, on what is right or wrong, appropriate or not appropriate,, good or bad. You, as the parent, are the one to teach that, instruct, along the way. They all have put themselves through college now. Some are married and & parents now. I love being a grandparent and gladly trust their parents to be the parents now.

    So many best wishes to you both!! YOU can do it!

  • Ding

    If at any point you think it might help you to PM me, feel free to do so.

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    He is also starting to ask questions about why I dont attend the meetings anymore.

    Good for him. It is ironic that your son is six and that there at least two yearbook examples of six-year olds that have been baptized -- which shows the society's position on the matter. That's awfully close to infant baptism, in my opinion.

    I believe he's old enough, however, to under this 11 minute read (for grown-ups). At least, the concept of it all. Called The Great Watchtower Contradiction, it's mild enough for new ones to understand -- strong enough to give even the most seasoned JW serious pause.


  • Vanderhoven7

    Beware of indoctrinating grandparents. Limit their time alone with your son...or you may end up being shunned by your own offspring. Your job as parents is to protect your children from known harm.

  • Ding

    Your husband is welcome to post here as well!

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Just relying on a distraction tecnique isn't enough. He needs the skills to be able to work out for himself that the cult's teaching are bollocks. If you don't teach him those skills, Paradise, Armageddon, all seeing gods, fear of apostates and worldlies and all that other crap you exposed him to, will remain unchallenged with god knows what consequenses in the future.

    Until he has those skills, he should not have unsupervised contact with any member of any high control group, family, or not.


  • LisaRose

    I cannot recommend letting your parents take him to the meeting. Of course he wants to go, that is where his friends are and he has already been indoctrinated that he must go, or die at the big A. But you are the parent and must decide what is best for him, not your parents. If he reaches adulthood and wants to join, fine, it until then you can show how to live a life free of the destructive tactics of the Watchtower. He will quickly adapt to the new environment, children are very resilient. Tell him that you are not going to be going to the meetings for now, don't go into any big explanation, he doesn't need it. As birthdays and holidays come up, say that you found out it was OK to do them. If he doesn't want to, that's fine, but make it clear you don't see anything wrong with them.

    I hope you have gotten rid of the bible stories book, it's way to violent and unsuitable for young children.

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