help for a forum member

by jeremiah18:5-10 19 Replies latest social family

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    Frowned upon is a lurking member here. He never posts, but actively reads. He went home yesterday to attend a family wedding. He's fading and said he's getting bombarded and pleaded for help. Here's what I told him, other suggestions are welcome.

    Stand fast in your integrity. Don't compromise your heart. Don't allow conversation only to revolve around JWism. Redirect conversations to being about life in general. Ask questions and listen. Control the conversations, font be controlled. Use good judgment, don't say anything to expose yourself unless you're ready for it. Display happiness and contentment with where you are in your life. Express how well everything is going. Dont speak for your wife, redirect questions about her, to her. You will be fine if you are

    cautious as a serpent.

    They assume and expect to find that you are miserable without the cult. Worst thing you can do is fuel that. They will be bewildered if you are happy, at peace and content.

    Thank him/them for caring, then deflect. How are you doing? How's work? How's your family? I hope you're very happy. Happiness is so good isnt it? Those are suggestions to redirect.

    Please offer any other suggestions to help.

  • jgnat

    Excellent advice. Humor helps. I also stay standing at events until it is time to sit down. It keeps me from getting cornered.

  • new hope and happiness
    new hope and happiness

    This site is a cast of charactots...stay away from sensitive subjects, and get to know whose bark is worse than there bite.

  • Gayle

    Right, JWs don't know what to do with you when you're happy. They are totally confused, and frustrated if they can't get you down and depressed.

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    Support in general would be encouraging for frowned upon. His wife is dfd, yet trying to return for purely family reasons. He's in turmoil but is committed to fading. Please offer support for him. I informed him I started a topic and he said he would be anxious to read comments.

  • MacHislopp

    Hello jeremiah 18:5-10,

    I do agree with yopur counsel :

    " Don't allow conversation only to revolve around JWism.

    Redirect conversations to being about life in general.

    Ask questions and listen"

    I do believe that's all in a nut shell. 3 Excellent points.

    Keep us informed.

    Greetings J.C. MacHislopp

  • ABibleStudent

    To all visitors and JWN members who only read threads, why not write about your feelings on JWN and ask for help?

    The WTBTS's Jehovah does not exist! If you believe in God, follow Jesus Christ's teachings in the Bible instead of the WTBTS. If you do not believe in God or have doubts about God's existance, why follow the WTBTS while it victimizes JWs with BITE control techniques?

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • jeremiah18:5-10

    I'm hoping that support in this thread will encourage just that. But at the same time, he's been cautious as his wife is uncomfortable with such sites and has yet to embrace ttatt. Can't fault him for being cautious and taking his time. I and others lurked for weeks or months before taking the plunge. All in good time at individual rates of progress.

  • CADSkin

    Everyone moves at their own speed. Good on him for stopping by. The best is as stated above, keep positive and don’t let anyone drag the conversation in a negative direction. Always say how great you’re doing and when they start talking about how bad things are I always say “I think things are getting better! The only reason they seem to be getting worse is because the media tends TO ONLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE NEGATIVE. Negative news sells publications, wouldn’t you agree?” Some get what I’m implying and some don’t but it’s subtle enough to get the point across. Good luck!

  • Hortensia

    Frowned Upon -- Hi and Welcome! When you attend JW events, start a list of the funny things that happen so you can tell us about it later. Smile at everyone and make them say Hi to you. Don't answer personal questions.

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