Anatomy of a JW Prayer...

by Mister Biggs 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    The JW's always teach that our prayers should not be repetitive.
    However, for those that are still "active" (and for those who still remember), I present to you typical words or phrases that make up a JW prayer.
    Feel free to add to the list!

    -"Dear heavenly father, Jehovah" or "Jehovah God"
    -"Bowed heads and humble hearts"
    -"May your spirit be upon..." or "...a portion of your holy spirit..."
    -"Please be with those who could not be here today..."
    -"Help us to arrive to our homes safely"
    -"Many times we sin or fall short..."
    -"Continue to guide and direct us"
    -"Thank you for the food you provide to us through the faithful and
    discreet slave"
    -"Please be with those who have parts" (as opposed to those that are
    bald! Just kidding!)
    -"For the next two hours we ask that your spirit will be upon us"
    -"Please help us to be encouraging to one another..."

    Who else has any gems to add???

    I live in a shack and I poop in an outhouse.

  • MikeMusto
    MikeMusto

    Please let me have vaseline

  • dyan4help
    dyan4help

    -"Please allow us to approach your throne of undeserved kindness."

    Dyan

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    GREAT ONE, Dyan!
    I forgot about that one!
    Classic!

  • MikeMusto
    MikeMusto

    what about

    "please watch over our worldwide association of brothers"
    "please help the brothers in lands that face persecution"

    and.."please dont let anyone answer the door"

  • SumnerSloan
    SumnerSloan

    We come to you now in Jesus name ...

    ... in the name of your son and reigning King, Christ Jesus ...

    May your spirit be with our brothers and sisters worldwide, especially those undergoing hardship for the sake of your name

    Please help us to find those sighing and groaning ...

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    MikeMusto...
    More classics! Those are awesome!

    Sumner-
    Geez! It's as if we've been attending the same congregation (because the phrases are dead-on!).

    Unbelievable!
    No doubt, this is international.

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Boy does this bring back memories!

    Prayer buzz words that EVERY SINGLE PERSON USED IN ALMOST EVERY CONGREGATION.

    I have heard the ones you mention ALL THE TIME Biggs and Musto.

    "Please forgive us where we fall short"

    Sometimes they would be extremely verbose in describing Jah's qualities and say something like:

    "Jehovah our loving, gracious. kind, merciful Heavenly Father.. we etc, etc,"

    And sometimes if they were trying to be flamboyant, they would add:

    "Agape love"

    into the prayer somewhere.

    It is not religious persecution for an informed person to expose publicly a certain religion as being false, thus allowing persons to see the difference between false religion and true religion.
    WT 11/15/1963 page 688 paragraph 3

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Reborn-
    Thanks for those.
    This really shows how well-programmed some of us were (are).

  • Imbue
    Imbue

    Jason darling, careful you might need this one...LOL

    "Please forgive us where we fall short"

    Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

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