Should I move officially to this new cong?

by will-be-apostate 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • will-be-apostate

    So I got in college recently (Petroleum engineering), which is 150+ miles away from my home town. I started to go to the meetings once in a while to please my parents because I hate lieing to them, although I did several times regarding meetings.

    Last time an elder - special pioneer - came to me at the hall and asked me if I had already thought about transfering my 'files' aka. publisher card to that congregation. I told them that for the present I don't want it to happen. However my parents are insisting and , I hate the fact, but I still need their financial support.

    If I do nothing my former congregation will always know that I became inactive, which is not good. What are your thoughts?

    I also apologize for not being that active member of the community. I had a lot of exams at high school which involved a lot of stress, had to fight my war with my parents and elders, relatives who all think I am getting eaten by the roaring lion of this world. I also find it very hard to pick up the "wordly" life style, this org just screwed up my entire personality and now I find myself unadaptable in this outer world.

  • sir82

    Why not get you cards transferred? Then no one in your old congregation will have any idea of your activity / inactivity.

    Your parents want your cards transferred, and if they are transferred they'll never know if you are inactive and can keep up the payments.

    I don't see the downside.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Go to a cong that is a bit out of your way a few times, get them transfered there, then never go back.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi will-be-apostate, Don't go to the KH that is nearest you or you are in there area. Go to a KH that is further away from you and find out if anyone knows anyone in your parent's congregation. Join which ever KH has the fewest JWs who knows someone in your parent's KH. If your parents ask you why you didn't join such and such KH just tell them that there weren't as many eligible "Spiritually Strong" JWs for you (which should be zero in your case). Start slowly fading as soon as your cards are transferred.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


    P.S. - Engineering is a good choice of study for your future.

  • LostGeneration

    Can't see much of a downside, get your parents off your back for the time being, at least until you graduate.

    I wouldn't worry too much about where you go, just keep as much of your information away from the new elders, that way they can't harass you if you aren't showing up.

  • Finkelstein

    Playing the semi-interested one might at this time be in your favor being that your parents are somewhat

    financially supporting one.


    Particularly more so if you have family involved with this religion.

    I faded decades ago while most of my family were still and never said a word against

    the JWS or its associated publishing house the WTS.

    Sometimes it social advantageous to keep your own personal beliefs to yourself.

    I can attest to that myself.

  • anonymouz

    If there are a number of congs in the area, you can stall it by saying you are trying out a few before deciding. That could stretch a year or so, because you can say one is not really compatible in like a month or so, and just transfer around. Say you are too busy sudying for school, sick (of the org) with contagious virus, etc. You could probably stall this for a while, and keep very low profile to not let any unneeded external complications arise. Just play the undercover and it makes the process then enjoyable and something to have as a goal of invisibility.

    As far as adapting to the external world conditions, there really is a lot of truth in JW general aversion to drugs and alchoholic dependence, and other complications hidden in generally unwise lifestyles that even some non-religious people realize.

    Like when I dropped off the holiday radar, I generally always hated the robotic and culturally superficial rituals anyways, so for me personally missing Easter and Nimdrod-mass was no big deal. But that is just me. I feel the lightweight streamlined life approach of JWs, until they get burdened with org burial, is pretty wise overall.

    So just abandon what JWs have plainly wrong, and keep what is wise overall, and don't over correct right, to veer totally off the road. Some people leave JWs and simply return to stuff that is benign at times, but generally a waste of time in my opinion. Why leave one JW burden to get resaddled with the world burden that is 100 times more robotic than JWs, merely hidden in the mass world "cult" of culture?

    And ALWAYS be the one asking neutral questions in case questions arise, don't let them run the interrogation. It is easy to dodge "apostate" Bethel inquisition targets by just acting confused, and sincerely just wondering this or that, in case they try to radar that issue. Just agree, no need to complain to the cows about the farmer, the JW farmer never does hear.

  • EndofMysteries

    Go to a hall you have no been to, that is atleast not the very closest one, get the records transferred, then don't show up anymore. :)

    The society lies and has it's members lie. For example on under FAQ, you'll see the question on "Do you shun former members of your religion". They give the impression those who leave won't be shunned, and even if somebody sinned, that families are family no matter what.

    So with all of that and the society labeling lying, "theocratic warfare", and how lying to those they deem it's none of their business is not a lie, then lieing about meetings because otherwise they may shun, etc, is also theocratic warfare and none of their business. It's your private life.

  • problemaddict

    I say go to a hall that is either really big or really old, ask who the coordinator is, and give him the number of the appropriate person in the old hall. Get you cards moved over. Attend on and off until then making up excuses, then when your cards are there......stop.

    Boom textbook fade. DO not give them a way to get a hold of you outside maybe e mail.

  • Comatose

    If you have an iphone or android use one the apps that give you a burner number. Give him that number then kill it when you want. All the advice here seems great. A transfer means no one that knows you well will be asking about you. You can disappear.

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