I realized this about myself yesterday. I was noticing how on a thread I thought about commenting on, I held back out of a fear I still have of speaking out against the Governing Body.
I have been disrespectful to the god of the bible and openly proclaimed I do not think he exists.
I was so well conditioned that I am still afraid to be disrespectful to the GB. To speak out against god is one thing, but to do so against the GB is even worse. This doesn't make sense. But, it's how I was unknowingly acting.
I started reading Captives of a Concept. I think it explains this phenomenon very well.