Well, I have been posting here on and off for a while now. It is good to see the progress that so many have made. I have appreciated your experiences, your humour, your struggles, etc.
As I sit here today, I realize that I have made progress as well. Sure, not to the extent of some on this forum, but, all the same...progress. But my problem, to tell you the truth, is that it isn't fast enough. You see, I have always been a "producer." A "get things done" personality that when faced with a problem I find the solution and then attack it head on. With this, though, this whole "witness" thing, I am getting anxious. I look around at the hall and see faces of people that nod their heads and raise their hands, yet, I see no semblance of understanding or even caring to. I hear some of the canned responses to questions, I hear complete fabrications of revisionism spouted off as fact and I am about to scream.
Now, as many of you, I realize just what that "scream" will bring about. It's repercussions will be felt for the rest of my life and those of my family. But, I am at the point where I am having tremendous difficulty contending with the internal struggle. I feel like the character in the painting The Scream by Edvard Munch, ready to cry out, yet too contemplative to do so.
Sorry for the rant, I think many know of what I speak.