=( Sad... waking up my mom is going to be next to impossible

by ILoveTTATT 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    The saying goes, "A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still."

    JWs are always ready to point out the stubbornness of others for holding "false" beliefs, but we know that JWs take first place for blind obendience to human dictators with a continuously shifting "present truth" with becomes "old light."

    Here's a link to a thread a I started several months ago with some of my observations and the thoughts and experiences of others...
    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/253592/1/exJW-Psychology-101-Keeping-Your-Cool-While-Fading#.Un8b9-Iljcw

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    Billy,

    Thanks!

    I have a very hard time keeping my cool... my dad has no problems with it... I inherited my mom's passion for life... or for whatever topic I am interested in... I guess it is hard to keep my cool...

    I want this nightmare to end... I want to just wake up and be in a different city away from my parents and on my own and just live and let live.

    For now, I will have to learn how to be patient, kind, and understanding, despite great frustration... and count the days before my six months are up and my company allows me to move to the other city.

    @jwfacts: I cannot help my mom, perhaps you have felt similar frustration with your family. But I can help other people, strangers even, like you helped me. I need to talk to you about the translation to Spanish of your site... I really want to do it!!

    ILTTATT

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    How old is your mother??? She may be too old to try to change, maybe better to leave it alone and only when she attacks you or your beliefs then you can have a response geared towards her unwillingness to look at things objectively. You could even have a couple of the mags handy that encourage other to be critical of their religions. The problem is JW's are so indoctrinated they can't get this indoctrination out of the way to see the real understanding.

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    @crazyguy:

    My mom's in her mid fifties. Not old... she still has lots of good years she can be away from the WT...

    Look, overall, I really don't care... as long as they just don't do harm to themselves or to anyone else... they can believe in the flying spaghetti monster for all I care...

    But I know that if I am disfellowshipped my mom will shun me, my dad possibly not but maybe eventually he will cave into pressure or have to make a decision...

    I need to make it to the "fade at ease" stage... but it's gotten complicated...

    ILTTATT

  • besunny
    besunny

    My parents are also hard core JWs and I am their only child who has faded over the last few years, anyway to make a long story short,my mom became very ill over the last year and has lost her vision along with this illness,the subject of a blood transfusion came up due to anemia,when trying to reason with my father about it he said he would absolutely let her die before even thinking about letting her have one,he became angry with me for even trying to reason with him about it,my husband who has never been a witness was shocked by this behavior.I have tried over the last several months to nicely reason on other subjects but don't get anywhere,so l have decided just to shut up! it is sad what a hold this cult has and sickens me.

  • NeverKnew
    NeverKnew

    I've seen that reaction before! After being insulted, screamed at and walked away from, it doesn't affect me so much anymore. You should have seen the reaction I got from my "Jehovah is a word made up by a Roman Catholic monk" fiasco in a parking lot. The result was mind-boggling for me but that was a whole 2 years ago. Now the person practically apologizes for using it around me (yeah yeah I know you don't believe that's His name). I can still see feel the confusion in their spirit.

    I'll be having a similar conversation with someone later today. I was told a few weeks ago ..something about everyone believing the same - unlike the churches. (oooh that gets my blood boiling)

    Today, I was going to start the conversation off with, "now I'm curious. If everyone believes the same thing, do you ALL believe Matt 1:16 or Luke 3:23? How about 1 Kings 4:26 or 2 Chron 9:25 - like how wealthy was he? What do you ALL believe Christ's last words were; Matt 27:46 & 50, John 19:30, or Luke 23:46 and WHY do you ALL believe that over the other two?... Or do you believe all three - how does that work? I'm fascinated by everyone believing the SAME THING with so many different angles to the Bible."

    Remember I'm a theist so I'm not attacking the scriptures. :)

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    Neverknew, don't worry... I am agnostic so I don't really mind... I have seen the many inconsistencies in the Bible, so it's ok.

    @Besunny: and THAT's a situation that I don't want to get to. I want to have my conscience clean that I TRIED, I TRIED, I TRIED... I DID NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    *However, this "fight" will be the best fight possible, I will try my hardest to compare other things and give mind control topics... my mom was getting really nervous one day when I read from Wikipedia the various fallacies...

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi ILoveTTATT, Have you thought about the saying that people have two ears and one mouth? Instead of telling your mother your opinion, ask your mother about her opinion and then ask more simple questions that help her to critically think for herself. It will not be easy for you, but you may have more success with your mother. Also, back off when your mother's cult persona starts to gain control of her actions. You need to find ways to help your mother's authentic persona to be in control.

    Remember that JWs are slow to adapt because they must wait for direction from the WTBTS. You can adapt more quickly and it is a lot easier to listen to uncover what is causing your mother cognitive dissonance than to be the source of her cognitive dissonance.

    Best of wishes and I hope that you and jwfacts can team up to create webpages in Spanish on www.jwfacts.com.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

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