Were You Tough On Your Fellow Witnesses?

by minimus 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    When I was younger, I saw things as a young, inexperienced man. I THOUGHT I knew it all, but time would prove otherwise. I believed that as long as you accepted "Mother's" counsel, then everyone should just follow Jehovah's Organization's guidance.

    I realized some Witnesses actually loved that thought, that it's either black or white. If they are TOLD WHAT TO DO, they like that!

    But as the years went by, I realized there are plenty of exceptions to the rules. And who are we, to judge another? There's no need to be tough on the flock. People are quite often KILLING themselves to do things as directed by the GB and the elders. They need a break!

    The last few years of being an elder was difficult because I could clearly see the BS like never before. Rather than be overly restrictive with people, I was a lot more understanding of what people were going through.

    Unfortunately, the Watchtower Society does not want elders to be truly kind hearted men. They want men who will whip the sheep into shape.

    I'm glad that I can clearly see the truth about the "Truth".

  • Gopher

    Even when I was in the organization and thought it was teaching the truth, I could plainly see that there were two kinds of elders -- the demanding ones (often hypocritical), and the meeker ones who were more down-to-earth with the congregants. And I saw that the 2nd kind seemed to get discouraged and were dominated by the first kind, thus more likely to give up their "privilege".

    I never rose above ministerial servant. I rarely had authority except when substituting for the book study conductor (when they used to have these in private homes) or conducting meetings for service.

  • minimus

    Gopher, I was always thought you had been an elder---a nice one.

  • FirstLastName

    I am afraid that I was a horrible "rat". If I went somewhere I was not suppoed to go (say a rave), and I saw a JW there, I would run to the elders to tell them who I saw. I am disgusted that I only did this to beat those people to the punch , since I was at the event also. I could not think for myself.

    I have spend my adult life trying to be a better person, a good friend, and a great wife. I have guilt for doing those things. I think its a reason that I give everyone the benifit of the doubt in my life.

  • minimus

    At least your avatar is friendly.

  • blondie

    Only the hypocrites..........I'm was a sister, I have no authority

  • wearewatchingyouman

    I was pretty tough on some of my fellow witnesses growing up, though not in the classical sense. In my teenage years i watched my friends get baptized off one by one. I was always a good kid. My dad was an elder. My mom was DF'd when I was young, and I had the unique opportunity to distance myself from the teachings, but still stay close to the congregation, and openly expressing my doubts to my family. I knew all the dirt on everybody. I guess all the fellow Witness kids felt safe confiding all their misgivings due to my unique position. I saw their hypocrisy. Smoking, having sex, doing drugs etc. etc. etc. Then next thing you know they were getting baptized. I'd confront the ones I was close to. The coverstion usually went something like, "Dude, what the hell are you doing? I know you don't believe this stuff. You were just telling me about screwing Suzie Q worldly girl last weekend. Are you stupid?"

    I kind of feel guilty today about not being more supportive and understanding of their position. Them not having any outlet to be honest with someone who could understand them, or at least feeling that way.

  • Separation of Powers
    Separation of Powers


    Thank you for sharing, Minimus.

    I was the typical young elder, very pragmatic and by-the-book. CO's loved me. If they were head-hunting, they knew just who would be up for a fight. When it came to what the organization said, it was more gospel than THE gospel. I was brash at times. Self-assured about my knowledge of the process (because that's really all the organization is about in my opinion) and the answer man when it came to where it was written, in what KM or letter. A real company man.

    As I matured, I began to recognize the difference between being an overseer and being a shepherd. Throughout the entire process however, I was never tough on the young people, at least none that I recall. Even in judicial cases, I would allow the young person to make the decision if he or she felt that they were repentant and "wanted" to remain in the organization. I am proud of the fact that I helped out a lot of people. Some sick, some dying, some old, some depressed and downtrodden. I have good memories of helping people through hard times. I am sure, however, there are some whose memories of me are not as pleasant.

    I have given up that part of my life and it's interesting, I do not miss any aspect of it in the slightest. I see through the veil of mock humility and the power base. I have prayed for forgiveness where, in my enthusiam, I stepped on toes or hurt people's feelings. I realize, however, that I was simply playing a part in an already convoluted and very imperfect process, a man made process.


  • minimus

    sop, i can relate

  • FirstLastName

    thanks Minimus. I am ashamed of my past behavior. I like me better now:) I think a lot of people on this board learned to be better humans post JW.

Share this