My decision to openly greet df persons in the hall

by Daniel1555 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  Daniel1555

  At the moment I am still going to all the meetings (for family reasons).

  We have at the moment 1 df person who regularly comes (already df for 1.5 years).

  When I opened him the door I always greeted him but in the hall I didn't as others could see it.

  Now I decided that my conscience can not bear this any longer. I WILL GREET HIM ALSO IN THE HALL OR WHEN OTHERS ARE AROUND.

  If any elders notice it and talk to me, I tell them my conscience does not allow to not greet that person.

  Did any of you do that too and have some experiences?
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  tornapart

  I've always done it even when fully in. If I saw them in the hall and had eye contact I would always give a warm smile and a hello if I was close enough. If I met them in the street I would too and on some occasions even stop and ask how they were. I always thought it extremely rude to ignore someone and my own conscience never allowed me to do it. No one ever pulled me up on it.
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  Splash

  I used to speak with them as well - not loads of chatter, just asking how they were, it was good to see them - that sort of thing.

  To my mind there was a difference between someone who was df'd and didn't want the JW's, and those who were df'd and were trying hard, over many months, to get reinstated.

  An elder once asked me why I was talking to them, since I wasn't an elder. I asked him to show me from the scriptures where that differentiation was made. End of conversation.

  My opinion was that Jesus wouldn't punish a right hearted person who had made some mistakes, he would help and encourage them.

  Splash
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  jookbeard

  I done it in my final year or so but was caught and was told by an elder if I continued to do it expect trouble, the strange thing is he stopped talking to me, I guess he was warned too, he told me some amazing gossip though
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  Rufus T. Firefly

  WHEN IN DOUBT, DO THE KIND THING. Daniel, my mother was a devout and exemplary JW, and she greeted EVERYONE who came to the KH. I made a point of greeting DF'd ones who came to the KH, and nothing was ever said to me. Good for you, and don't shrink back. If anyone says anything, remind them of the father in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son. That ought to shut them up.
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  blondie

  Just remember that a df'd person has to toe the line when being greeted by a jw at the hall. I assumee they are coming to try and get reinstated. I have had df'd people ask me not to greet them at the hall.
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  Jaidubdub

  I've always greeted & smiled at d'fed ones I know. I also don't remove them as fb friends. and if I saw a family member of a d'f done, I always asked about the d'fed one & if I was close to the d'fed one, I would ask that they pass on my love to them & that I missed them. Many times I saw the pain & tears in the loved ones eyes. My beautician is d'fed & I still go to her & so do a few other jw's. i have d'fed family so I know the division & pain it causes within a family. This has to be one of the most heartbreaking & inhumane practice I have ever seen.

  Good on you Daniel...
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  Junebuggie

  I remember when I was df'd, on 3 differant occasions a sister would come up to me and starttalking, thinking I was a new person, ....lol - i saw that we were being watched, so i finished anwering their questions ( those were brief conversations ) and then because i saw we were being watched, I felt it was my "duty", even tho df'd to tell them that I was df'd....oh, the look on their face...like "OH ! " and then the lady would walk off....no encouragement,,,, nothing...end of speaking to me.

  I guess I was worried that they would be "counseled" . LOL,,, this da thing is ridiculous!!
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  KiddingMe

  I have been wondering about this more lately. I always smile at DF'd ones, especially the youth. I've heard from some that got reinstated that it's encouraging.

  I've went to the car in my drive way to talk to one that came by my home to pick up their child but it seemed that they felt more uncomfortable than I, specifically, saying, "let me go before I get you in trouble." When I responded, "no I'm good", they still said, "I know you are but still, I don't want to take any chances".

  So at the hall I only speak openly as necessary, I.e. to say thanks for holding the door, excuse me for crossing over them to be seated. I just really don't want to put them in a position at the hall that could affect their reinstatement.

  I don't know, maybe there is a fine line to look for.
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  prologos

  blondie is right. I had disfellowshipped ones give me the icy stare. They might even consider getting Goody points by telling on you to the enforcers.

  let you good loving manners suffice.