So Frightened.. Extremely Afraid

by Caupon 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  braincleaned

  agreed Qcmbr.
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  AudeSapere

  Caupon wrote: Didn't mean to waste everyones time.

  Not a waste of time at all - as far as I'm concerned.

  You raised a good question. And it seems you got answers that helped to quiet your heart. How can that possibly be a waste of anyone's time?

  And... Someone else will likely read this thread and something in it will help them, too. It's all good.

  I was baptized just before I turned 14. 14 to 17 is such a crazy time. And every couple of years you have a completely different outlook and insight into the world. I would not want to relive those years at all. From age 22 onward, ... THOSE years I'd like a complete 'do-over'. But not 14 to 17. Very stressful any way you look at it. "This too shall pass."

  -Aude.
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  braincleaned

  Well said AudeSapere. I was baptized at 13. Augh!
• 

  tornapart

  Caupon.. don't worry about the elder's reactions to your entry into their 'inner sanctum'. I know what they're like and as an elder's wife waiting to go home and getting fed up and knocking on the door to get the car key off hubby, I know the reaction. I tease my hubby about it being 'a little boy's club' or if I'm really fed up, 'a secret society'. Truth is I know they hate their 'after meeting meetings'. They've worked a hard day, come home, wolfed down their dinner, got ready for meeting, rushed through traffic to get there on time,maybe had to do an item at the meeting and then get told there's a 'brief' elder's meeting afterwards. I know my husband inwardly groans, as I do... it's never 'brief'! So I guess they're all very grumpy by this stage.

  Enter a young man into their inner sanctum without knocking... I know it seems a terrible reaction to you and made you feel scared but don't be. They probably forgot all about it before you'd even closed the door.

  I know my own children when they were in their teens had a number of occasions like this. Unfortunately older people sometimes forget what it's like to be young and how sensitive a teen can be. Don't take it to heart. You'll be ok.
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  jgnat

  I'd say the elders reaction was guilt, caught being normal. Simply keep your distance from the elders. If they ask after you simply tell them you don't want to be a bother.
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  Nathan Natas

  The elders are only guys, nothing more. Don't cloak them with the attributes of Israelite Priests; the fact is that the Israelite Priests were only guys too, with the benefit of hundreds of years of image-polishing. So don't be stunned by ANYTHING your "elders" do, if they screw up, they will be the first to tell you that they are "just IMPERFECT men" prone to err -- and they forgive EACH OTHER, which is a nice gig.

  Unlike most who post here, I will give you your secret key to freedom. Keep this a secret until the day you use it and it will work for you. The secret exit key is that the day you turn 18 you join the US military (I am assuming you live in the US). You seem smart... if you REALLY are smart you will apply yourself in school and pursue improving your physical fitness: Don't let the old "bodily training is beneficial for a little..." mantra disuade you. Be low-key about it, but strive to improve yourself in ALL ways.

  When you join the military, they will offer you tests to help them decide where to put you. You want to score as highly on these tests as you possibly can so that you are not seen as a mere grunt. Remember this advice, it is your key to personal salvation. WHY? Because the Watchtower thinks you have NO options. If you are in your parents' home you are under their rules. So you LEAVE their house and become your own man.

  There are times I wish I had this advice 50 years ago, but I didn't.
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  cantleave

  Elders are are supossed to care for the flock in aloving way. Most are just bullies, there are some good ones they will eventaully find their way here - this board has many ex-elders posting on it.
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  snare&racket

  What kind of person becomes an authorative figure in a cult of control?

  The kind of person with a big ego and fond of power trips..... laugh it off and forget it however don't forget the reality of the very fake people in WT.
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  ruderedhead

  You're overthinking it, Caupon. I've been guilty of overthinking minor things many times, and it's just not worth the stress! Relax.
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  DesirousOfChange

  The secret exit key is that the day you turn 18 you join the US military

  Not to mention that it gives you the opportunity to prove yourself as a Hero.