To the owner of Silentlambs website

by Spiderman 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Spiderman
    Spiderman

    Hello sir,

    I am very interested in your work. I have read through your website and cried at some of the stories told. It really hit home. My wife was sexually molested at an early age by an older sister in the congregation. She never told anyone but myself, but even after twenty-five years I can still see her pain as she sometimes recalls that molestation. She never told her parents, nor the elders as she was embarrassed. Although the molestation only happened once, it had a profound effect on her.

    I understand that the organization has made some improvements in the way they handle child molestors and abusers. My question is simple, what more could be accomplished?

    What are your goals as you continue your work? Could you outline the changes that would satisfy you and the victims of abuse?

    I await sincerely your response. I would like to share your response with my wife and see what she thinks.

    Thank you in advance for taking time to answer these questions.

  • silentlambs
    silentlambs

    The simplest way to answer your question is to encourage you to read the sl website, www.silentlambs.org much helpful information is provided to help educate as to what the problems is and continues with WT policy regarding child molestation.

    If you want it summed up simply please review my letter below to the GB and it should help you see what is expected. Also understand silentlambs as an organization has no interest in destroying a religion. We have several people who remain loyal to the organization, we have several who absolutely hate the organization and quite a few in between, yet they all have someting in common they were molested as children and further victimized as a result of current WT policy. How you wish to believe, who you wish to follow, and how you choose to worship is a personal decision. At silentlambs we prefer to remain neutral in these matters for if we side with one group then we alienate another group. IF you wish to remain a JW, good for you that is your decision, if you wish to leave, good for you that also is your personal decision. To be of assistance to all requires not turning our backs or pushing away any victim who has suffered as a result of WT policy.

    For that reason while I do on no uncertain terms condemn WT policy and those who support it as absolutely needing to make changes in the interests of protecting children, I keep my personal vewpoints regarding belief as a non-issue when reaching out to all parties concerned. I believe that is what comes across on the silentlambs website. If in anyway it does not I will be glad to adjust it accordingly.

    silentlambs

    12-20-01

    Governing Body

    Watchtower Bible and Tract Society

    25 Columbia Heights

    Brooklyn, NY 11201

    Dear Brothers,

    I am writing to make further appeal to do something that is needed in the interests of the Flock. As spiritual shepherds you brothers have expended yourself for many years with the interest of trying to guide the flock in the way Jesus would approve. As you may recall it was Peter who said, "Therefore, to the older men among YOU I give this exhortation, for I too am an older man with [them] and a witness of the sufferings of the Christ, a sharer even of the glory that is to be revealed: Shepherd the flock of God in YOUR care, not under compulsion, but willingly; neither for love of dishonest gain, but eagerly; neither as lording it over those who are God’s inheritance, but becoming examples to the flock. And when the chief shepherd has been made manifest, YOU will receive the unfadable crown of glory." (1 Peter 5:1-4) This scripture helps to explain the importance of what it means to take care of the sheep entrusted to your care. If the sheep are to be cared for, how much more so the little lambs that exists as children in the congregation.

    When I wrote my first letter to you around one year ago I was very upset at a problem that presented itself to me in the congregation. As a local shepherd I felt my hands were tied from protecting a child from being molested. How could I be a good "shepherd" and not protect a little lamb that was in danger? I was instructed to leave it in Jehovah’s hands, yet would Jehovah wait one day if he knew a child was being hurt? Simply, nor could I wait. As the scripture says in Acts, "Pay attention to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the holy spirit has appointed YOU overseers, to shepherd the congregation of God, which he purchased with the blood of his own [Son]. (Acts 20:27-28) As an elder would I be "paying attention" if I ignored the needs of a child in danger?

    My letter had very strong words, I realize, yet I was trying to compel you brothers to see how horrible a danger this was to the flock. I felt you needed to wake up to the clear and present threat to the congregation. Another reason my letter was worded so strongly was being contacted by numerous persons who brought to my attention that their child molesters had for the most part went unreported while they were forced to live as silent lambs. In order to remedy this problem and after conferring with several experts in the field, I offered three suggestions on how to protect children from child molestation issues:

    1. If a child is molested call the police first.
    2. No brother or sister who molests children should be allowed privileges in the congregation.
    3. No brother or sister who molests children should be allowed to go in the door-to-door ministry.

    The purpose of these recommendations was to protect the flock. Each point would offer specific safeguards that would protect the high moral standards adhered to by the organization.

    The first suggestion, "If a child is molested call the police first," not only helps the child to have an proper investigation to determine what happened and get proper treatment if needed, but it also would put any child molester on notice that if he or she touched a Witness child they would not be able to hide behind the body of elders but instead would face the "superior authorities."(Rom. 13:1) This would also show that Jehovah’s Witnesses were different than many mainstream religions by having a zero tolerance policy when it came to molested children.

    The second suggestion, "No brother or sister who molests children should be allowed privileges in the congregation," would be not only a deterrent for any would be molester but also put the congregation on notice that certain people may need to be watched and not trusted with children. This again would protect the flock.

    The third suggestion, "No brother or sister who molests children should be allowed to go in the door-to-door ministry," would let the public know that Jehovah’s Witnesses would never send child molesters to an unknowing public which in turn would make the public feel confident the Witness calling at their door was a safe person. This alone protects the image offered to the public of all Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    My question to you brothers is why did you choose to do nothing? What was the reasoning that allowed you to ignore the cry for help offered on the silentlambs website? How many children have been molested in the last year since these suggestions have not been acted upon?

    In 1997 the January 1, Watchtower, the impression was given that one of these suggestions had been acted upon. The feeling given from the January 1, 1997 Watchtower was that all child molesters would never have privileges in the congregation, yet in the March 14, 1997, a letter to "All Bodies Of Elders," plainly stated persons with a history of child molestation were not to be queried thus leaving open the possibility of brothers continuing to serve in appointed capacity. The June 1, 2001 letter to "All Bodies Of Elders" in Britain cleared up any misconception by stating if a period of time had passed since his last molestation, a brother could be used as an elder again or could continue to serve. What were you thinking? Do you really believe you could tell the flock on thing and have the elders act on hidden directives through BOE letters? Brothers this has to come to an end. This is not about one personality or another it is about protecting children, safeguarding the congregation, and not bringing reproach on Jehovah’s name. Psalms 74:18 states, "Remember this: The enemy himself has reproached, O Jehovah, And a senseless people have treated your name with disrespect." Brothers do you want to bring further reproach on Jehovah’s name, make yourself an enemy and look like a senseless one?

    I urge you brothers with due haste to take action now. The brothers and sisters will respect and appreciate a decision that acts in the interests of the flock. Jesus said, "I am the fine shepherd; the fine shepherd surrenders his soul in behalf of the sheep. The hired man, who is no shepherd and to whom the sheep do not belong as his own, beholds the wolf coming and abandons the sheep and flees—and the wolf snatches them and scatters them— because he is a hired man and does not care for the sheep. (John 10:10-15) I entreat you brothers to please not act like the hired man and leave the flock, the lambs, exposed to danger. Be like Jesus who was willing to go beyond the call of duty to the point of dying to defend their safety. Whatever the reason for inaction, now is the time to act, apologize for not acting sooner, let those wronged know they are loved and will be better protected in the future. The brothers and sisters will revere you more so in the end for showing yourselves to be humble shepherds acting in the interests of Jehovah’s possession. (John 21:15-17)

    Please listen, please take action, please stand up for what is right, please give a voice to the silent lambs and please protect the flock.

    Sincerely,

  • Spiderman
    Spiderman

    Thank you for your response. You letter was very good and you explained your purpose well. I agree with your three suggestions:

    1. If a child is molested call the police first.
    This would be very good as it would scare potential pedophiles. The current policy, I believe, is that they need to call the legal department first. This is good and in many states, the elder calling is adviced that the authorities should be contacted. I think the elders instruct the molestor to turn himself in within a short period of time, if he does not then they must contact the authorities themselves. This should be done not only in every state of the USA, but in every country.

    2. No brother or sister who molests children should be allowed privileges in the congregation.
    This is a very good suggestion and as you noted on your letter to the GB, the '97 Watchtower said this same thing. I think the other letters you refer to where instructions to the body of elders so that they would examine and weigh each case separately instead of making one huge rule. I strongly agree that the instructions given in the '97 Watchtower should be followed.

    3. No brother or sister who molests children should be allowed to go in the door-to-door ministry.
    I agree with you on this one, but as I was examining some scriptures where Jesus gives everyone the responsiblity of preaching the good news, I don't see how the organization could ban someone from preaching, unless of course they were disfellowshipped. Your suggestion is clear, but would it include a ban on informal witnessing also? I think setting a rule of that magnitude would confusion. Also, Jesus never held the past of one of his dissiples against them if they had changed their ways. I am reminded of some of the prostitutes and other sinners that came to him. He did not forbid them from preaching the good news. Of course I can see where a child molestor is more than a sinner, since there could be some mental problems involved. Indeed, it is a tough call for the GB to make.

    Once again, I thank you for your post. I hope you accomplish your goals and that you find peace in your heart and conscience. Meanwhile, as one of Jehovah's Witnesses I will continue to give my support and help to the victims within the organization. I have had some interesting conversations with some of the elders in my congregation and the circuit and these have been very positive. I've humbly shared my views on the molestation issues and all have listened to what I have to say.

    A friend in the inside,

    Spiderman

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    I'm not aware that the 'organization' has made ANY improvements in the way they have handled crimes of power and force against women and children. Where are you getting your information?

    As recently as last year, Watchtower adherents took a stand AGAINST a rape victim and FOR her twice-convicted rapist...PUBLICLY!!! For the second time!!!

    As recently as Nov 12 of last year, Watchtower states that children who have been allowed to be baptized, if they stumble and commit some sin, should be expelled and shunned by even the family and in their own homes. Then the congregation is to give full support to the PARENTS!!! In most cases, it is not appropriate to even PRAY FOR these children!!!

    And as recently as a May Watchtower, which is not yet up on the Web, anyone who speaks of 'private things' or anyone who openly disagrees with the way the elders have handled a judicial matter (such as reinstating a disfellowshipped CONVICTED pedophile who hasn't even finished serving his prison term YET ..)are to be shunned by the congregation even without a juducial hearing or any action on the part of the elders.

    Anyone who goes to the authority with a charge of rape or molestation is guilty of revealing a 'private' matter. This is simply a restatement of the handling of 'difficulties' in the congregation that is outlined in the 'Organized' book at Kent's site, and also the 'Lamp' book which will be going up soon (I hope).

    This last is a direct turn-around from the BOE letter eveyone loves to hold up and say "Here, we've changed".

    I was never fooled for a minute. I knew it wouldn't last. I never doubted that rape and molestation survivors have no safety in this organization, and that they count for nothing. When you think about the fact that Watchtowers, in many cases, are drawn up three months in advance of circulation, this means that they were preparing this Watchtower for release to the public AT THE EXACT SAME TIME THEY WERE CIRCULATING THAT BOE letter.

    One has to be very nearly brain-dead not to see how Watchtower once again turns traitor on its women and children.

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    And another thing....it is not about stopping a pedophile from preaching. It's about no longer sponsering them in the door to door work. I don't see how a comvicted peophile on parole should be going door to door trolling for more victims.

    The 'Organized' book on Kent's site outlines the many types of 'preaching' activity Jehovah's Witnesses engage in. Convicted pedophiles need to be restricted to some of these types of 'preaching'.

    I just don't see why Watchtower will not sponsor a person who is raped and does not resist enough to suit the elders; and yet a convicted peophile can be sponsored.

    I guarantee you one thing..if the public gets tired of this assalt upon their children of jehovah's Witnesses harbored pedophiles, and they feel that the only solution is to take matters in hand themselves---Make no mistake--- they will do it.

    I repeat--THEY WILL DO IT.

  • Pathofthorns
    Pathofthorns

    Hello Spiderman.

    What happened to your wife was a horrible thing. Unfortunately for people like her who choose not to tell anyone what happened there is absolutely nothing that the WT can do or even the authorities can do. It is this tendancy for victims to be silent that makes the crime so difficult to prosecute.

    This is your wife's choice and I believe victims should be supported in how they choose to deal with the crime, as they are the ones whose testimony will be required to get a possible conviction.

    Your wife should be aware that if the statute of limitations have not expired where you live then she is still able to go to the authorities, although getting a conviction tends to be more difficult with the passage of time.

    While I respect Bill's intentions to protect children, I still remain unclear how mandatory reporting of these allegations to the authorities respects a victim's right to their dignity if they feel too embarrassed over what happened or if it is their desire not to testify in court. I realize that it is extremely important to get child molesters out of society, but prosecuting these individuals and protecting other children must be balanced with the protecting of the mental and emotional health of the victims.

    Since most victims, whether Witnesses or not, do not go to the police, the question arrises, do they want others to be obligated to go to the police on their behalf or do they wish to retain that right for themselves?

    I believe the Society's stating clearly they will not discourage victims of abuse from going to the authorities was a significant step. This puts the decision solely in the victim's hands to decide what they would like to do. I would like to see the Society undertake an information capaigne on this subject clearly stating this in a publication dedicated solely to the subject of child abuse.

    I would also like to see further information on the Society's present stand regarding elders who are CONVICTED molesters. I would highly doubt they would knowingly appoint a convicted molester to be an elder at this point in time with all of the bad publicity they have recieved on the matter. Any elder who has a criminal record of abuse, even if it is in the distant past and even if he believes he has been "reformed" should be removed without delay. Until further clarification is given on this matter, the Society is likely negligent in this regard.

    I also would like to see CONVICTED molesters banned from the door to door work. While a convicted molester is required to work only with an elder, this still does not sit well with me and neither would it with the public. Anyone being investigated by the authorities for crimes of this nature should have all "privileges" suspended until proven innocent of the charges.

    I don't know if anyone has mentioned it before, but i believe a major problem is Christianity itself and the teachings that all sins can be forgiven on the basis of Christ's sacrifice. While I respect people's right to believe this, this particular doctrine appears to present a conflict in the Church. Since Christ's sacrifice supposedly covers over the most horrible of crimes, how does the Church deal with "forgiving" these men who have been convicted of abuse crimes and served their sentences?

    Path

  • Spiderman
    Spiderman
    While I respect Bill's intentions to protect children, I still remain unclear how mandatory reporting of these allegations to the authorities respects a victim's right to their dignity if they feel too embarrassed over what happened or if it is their desire not to testify in court. I realize that it is extremely important to get child molesters out of society, but prosecuting these individuals and protecting other children must be balanced with the protecting of the mental and emotional health of the victims.

    You have a very good point there. I did not think of it from that angle. You are right, the wishes of the victim must be taken into account.

    I believe the Society's stating clearly they will not discourage victims of abuse from going to the authorities was a significant step.
    I agree.

    I also would like to see CONVICTED molesters banned from the door to door work. While a convicted molester is required to work only with an elder, this still does not sit well with me and neither would it with the public. Anyone being investigated by the authorities for crimes of this nature should have all "privileges" suspended until proven innocent of the charges.
    After meditating on your statement here, I have to agree. It is very dangerous as we meet all kinds of people, older ones, women, and even children at the doors. I know that, personally, I would not appreciate a child molestor coming to my door, even if he is with an elder.

    I don't know if anyone has mentioned it before, but i believe a major problem is Christianity itself and the teachings that all sins can be forgiven on the basis of Christ's sacrifice. While I respect people's right to believe this, this particular doctrine appears to present a conflict in the Church. Since Christ's sacrifice supposedly covers over the most horrible of crimes, how does the Church deal with "forgiving" these men who have been convicted of abuse crimes and served their sentences?
    I don't see it as a problem. Jesus gave his life so that all our sins can be forgiven, but even if we are forgiven, we must face the consequences of our actions. Jehovah balances his perfect love with justice. Even in judicial cases, an unrepentant sinner is said to be disfellowshipped as a protection to the flock. Jesus sacrifice would cover that sin, if the person was to eventually show repentance. Even at that, Jehovah's flock would have to be protected. This is the case of a molestor. Reform is possible, repentance of course would have to be shown and Jesus sacrifice would cover the sin, but the congregation must still be protected from the sinners tendencies.
  • Simon
    Simon

    get lost Spiderman, er ... I mean ApostoSuck, ErnestoW, helpothers, HenryP, MavMan, SexyTeen, YoyoAgain, yoyoma, YoYoMama, yoyopappa

    I could call you some *other* names ...

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    Hawhawhawhahaw....

  • jerome
    jerome

    WOW!

    I dident know that he was that good. When i loggeg on to JW.com I reaad simons thread about alteregos to watch out for and i saw that spiderman was one of them. [spiderman=yoyomama]

    But I had no idea the he was this good at it. It almost seems as though that he can actually think straight. Think rationally and be convincing. Something is really wrong here. If simon dident warn us about him I may have tohught that he was just a regular poster.

    But there is one thing that is bugging me about this. He actually makes sense. I have come across very few, sorry mistake, I ment never come across any JW that could make sense when they were speaking about the Watchtower in a negative light. That makes me wonder about him.

    larc said that this uy was dangerous and I think that i would have to agree with him. If he actually is a JW he is one of the best liars that I have come across. Because he makes sense. But anyways now that were on to him that shouldent be a problem.

    jerome

    The Bible is a two edged sword wield it for evil and it you may get hurt.

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