If you want the short version, scroll down to "short version".
So I am at 1200 posts or so (only about 6 were probably of note), and I still havenlt told my story and probably won't for some time. Basically, I was a born in who has served in other countries, as an MS, and given talks etc... My wife and I were in foreign language, have CO's we have counted as close family friends, and were basically the golden boy and girl of their respective areas. I ahve helped probably 11 people to baptism. My wife, more.
So several years agao the scales fell from my eyes on blood. I was actually a JW apologist on sites (not this one) defending beliefs, translation, etc... as just a side thing. I did so respectfully. I didn't huff and puff and call people names. In fact, many of the people I engaged DID do that, so it just made me realize I was on the right side of things after all you know?
Blood was indefensible. I couldnt' do it. So that was the crack in the dam. It would take 5 years for my dissonance to slowly build and for me to pull myself out. I basically sabotaged my position as an MS, and was removed. Most people think it is because of that experience with a terrible elder and human being that I have left, and that suited me for a while.
My wife, was a pioneer since she was 12. Yeah thats right.....12. She stopped a while ago. We got pregnant by mistake, and she thought it was the end of the world. Well now we are a family and the world hasn't ended. My wife is very beautiful, but is a very typical cute JW pioneer type which probably explains it all. In telling her what I thought and why, I was not as tender as I should have been and that made my road harder. She even punched me and cried one day saying she would have never fell so in love with me and married me if she would have known I was going to leave the org. Basically she was supposed to be the wife of a need greater, or CO, or whatever....adn she was ready for that. The new system answered the question of, what do I do for work and basically had an answer for everything. So she didn't have to think. She didn't have to educate herself. She already had all the answers. Now we have a kid. She wants him to be educated, smart, think for himself, not be molested (as she was).
She has allowed us to have conversations......slowly....about things like blood, the new light that is constant, but more than anything else, the background control mechanisms of shunning and the requirement of total obedience.
Fast forward to now. She goes to one out of 20 meetings MAYBE. She has contacted worldly family to tell them she wants more of a relationship with them, and to apologize for being distant with them. She even said, "you have to understand, you are taught as a JW that your unbelieving family is just going to die.....so why would you get to close is kind of the natural place you take that sometimes." They handled it well and welcomed her with tears and understanding (they are NOT religious). She did that ON HER OWN. She still goes to an occasional meeting if family is around. She still says she doesn't know what to think or feel.
But this is the main point. My wife who pioneered for 20 years, served abroad, worked at bethel, was the golden girl of her area......is now leaving mentally. She has said her main concern is that she doesn't want her husband slandered (too late), and she doesn't want to lose her family. Many of them serve in special capacity overseas, and they would most likely just shun her or bully her. I am of course the bad guy in that scenario as well, and my wife loves me very much and would defend me, which would only isolate her from her family more. She couldn't handle that, so she has to wear two hats. I told her that could be dangerous as our kids get older since they are just toddlers now and we wouldn't raise them in the hall, but she just can't do it. Fair enough. I don't have to be in a divided house, but there are still somethings to contend with and keep my mouth shut about in order to maintain family and friends......I can do that. i migth even be getting off easy.
SHORT STORY.
Looks like my wife is divorced from the religion of her youth mentally, and while she cannot leave completely, she will not be insisting I go back, or that our children become JW's. This maybe came to fruition in just the past 3 weeks total.
Its a big and happy day at my place.