Accepting my own mortality, and the naturalness of death - the final step in my JW recovery.

by fresh prince of ohio 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  fresh prince of ohio

  For people who have a paralyzing fear of dying, to where it seems like it's this horrible, stalking monster, JWism is a powerful sedative.

  But really, the idea of living forever, in human form, is nonsense. Imagine being alive, on earth, as a human, around the same other humans, for 52 trillion years. And another 52 trillion years beyond that. And another 52 trillion trillion trillion years beyond that. Nobody wants this. Seriously. Living forever isn't about living forever, it's about not dying.

  Death is natural. It can be painful, sudden, or both. It can come when a person is a ripe old age, and better prepared to go back to the dust, or it can come suddenly. It can come in the form of disease, a natural disaster, an automobile accident, starvation...it's forms are infinite. It strikes all ages, races, and nationalities. It does not discriminate.

  Think about those people on the Titanic, or any similar disaster. One moment, everything is fine. Then, rumble shake rumble shake what the hell was that? Everybody stay calm, we're ok...well no we're not ok. Mass panic. Women and children first. The horror of it all! Or going down in a commercial jet. Come on! It's crazy!

  So I think about what those people experienced. And what everybody who has ever died in one way or another, has experienced. And why should I be exempt? Nobody gets out alive.

  I still haven't come to grips with this, not even close. I still live with the idea that death is deeply horrible and profoundly unjust, unfair, and unnatural, and it shouldn't happen to me. I deserve better. And this is where, at heart, I am still a JW.

  I don't think anybody looks *forward* to death per se, but I think some people are just more naturally adjusted to the idea that life is finite. That's just the way it is, and there's nothing we can do about it.

  So, the final step in my JW recovery is not necessarily to start looking forward to dying, but to accept its naturalness. It happens to everyone eventually. And it's not horrible, unjust, unfair, or whatever, that it happens. It just is. There's no judgment.
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  losingit

  I do feel that death is not natural, not normal. I understand you.
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  freeatlast36

  Hi. This is my first post here...I really enjoy reading everyone's experiences and sometimes having a good laugh at the KH memories! I was born into the "truth" and finally after 36 yrs and some traumatic experiences, I am finally out. I still have family that are devout, and that just frustrates me seeing them so brainwashed. I, too, had a real fear of death.....that was one of my main concerns, and I still read everything I can get my hands on about death and what happens when you die. After reading many near-death experiences, and learning what other cultures teach about death, such and buddhists, I am really at peace now. I would encourage you to enter the world that we have all been sheltered from, and read, read, read! There is a whole universe out there that we were not allowed to discover in case our minds actually opened up! There is no way to control someone that is open and sees the organization for what it is!!

  I hope you find peace with this soon, because it is incredibly liberating!!!
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  fresh prince of ohio

  Welcome freeatlast!
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  freeatlast36

  Thanks! Glad to be here!
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  adamah

  fresh prince said-

  So, the final step in my JW recovery is not necessarily to start looking forward to dying, but to accept its naturalness. It happens to everyone eventually. And it's not horrible, unjust, unfair, or whatever, that it happens. It just is. There's no judgment.

  Yup, and accepting that fact is what most people come to realize wuite early in their lives, after using feeling immortal as a teen but having to confront it with the death of a close friend due to auto accident, etc. Many JWs fight that realization, even avoid it altogether during their entire lives by still clinging to a delusional belief until the end of their lives. Sad, really, as they are convinced into wasting the only life they'll EVER have in the name of chasing a pipe-dream of something greater and eternal, which is just off in the horizon....

  PS welcome, FAL!

  Adam
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  freeatlast36

  Thanks adamah!
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  cofty

  Welcome freeatlast36.

  Interesting topic Fresh Prince. Accepting our mortality is not easy.

  
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  fresh prince of ohio

  Nice insights adamah.

  cofty, you know I'm 42 years old and yet I haven't experienced the death of a close loved one. Kinda crazy.
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  2+2=5

  I feel life is so much more precious now that I understand there is no paradise, no resurrection or living forever. When someone dies young I really see it as a tragedy, where as before with the jw outlook, I just thought the resurrection has it all covered.

  I can relate to what your saying though. But for me now, I think if we can live to an old age after watching our kids grow up and maybe even there kids, we have lived pretty well and couldn't ask for much more. Something will get us all one day, it's just a matter of what and when.

  I really beleive that teaching kids they will never grow old and die, is extremely cruel and unhealthy. It is just as bad as teaching the child that they will be destroyed at Armaggeddon if they don't love Jehovah.