When you are crushed......

by simplesally 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • simplesally
    As far as looking and wondering who is a JW and who is not..don't bother..you are so above that now..They are the ones with the hang ups not you. Let them worry about who they think is or isn't df'ed

    I must have given the wrong impression. I am not worried about them. I was thinking to myself as this woman passed me by: "if she knew I was JW, she'd take back her smile." And I thought: "how sick is that!!???"

    I thought about how in a business transaction, if they were all friendly and nice, how it would all of a sudden change if they (ooo heebee jee-bees now) found out I was df'd (aghast! eeek).

    I feel like a person walking outside myself, watching. Looking. And like outcast said, knowing that the JW lady would be thinking of how to approach me in order to convert me.

    I also wonder what I will say to the one that finally tries her "informal" sneak attack.

  • BluesBrother

    "I also wonder what I will say to the one that finally tries her "informal" sneak attack."

    That will be a great opportunity. Listen, feign interest, do not disclose anything. Just ask a question ; one that made you realise that it was not the truth. When they bluster, follow up. dont expect her to admit anything but just try and plant a seed of doubt.

    These people are victims just as we were, and need help. I am just inactive but awaiting a showdown.

    Take care, your life is just starting,

  • SYN

    SimpleSally: First off, ((((((((()))))))))). OK. If you ever wanna talk, my email is always open! Take care of yourself...!

    Every religion is the One True Religion.

  • Carmel

    Sally, think of all those JWs that are Df'd and have no computer friends, or those like me that were df'd forty years ago when there wasn't anything like Jw.com to hang out at!

    Consider your self fortunate. You know that you are free, can start building a new life and sadly will have to "wait on Jehovah" for your family to come around. I hope they do!


  • Pepper

    Most people on this site I think have been in your shoes for one reason or anather.
    Like what was said by one of them you must not isolate your self from other human beings be social and do things or you can find your self in despair needlessly. For me i went places to sing, I treated myself to dinner and went to a Casino and done other things too that surounded myself with people, like the song says "people who need people are the happist people in the world" we all need people, I know I do.
    Oh I used to hurt like the dickins all the time thinking God did not like me no more, till I found out its alright to be imperfect because thats the nature of being alive right now till Jehovah fixes us and changes us like only he can; everything will work out ok, just always remember its Jehovah and Jesus that cares enough for us to remember that we are just dust, but they will redeem us at the right time.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge


    I thought about how in a business transaction, if they were all friendly and nice, how it would all of a sudden change if they (ooo heebee jee-bees now) found out I was df'd (aghast! eeek).
    You are talking about JW's right? Because I have never been one, and before I found this board if someone where to say to me "That person over there is a disfellowshipped JW"....I would think "whatever"....it meant nothing to me, who cares. Now, after finding this board, if someone made the same statement, I would think "Woo Hoo...someone's escaped! You Go Girl!!!
  • Anne Marie
    Anne Marie

    Dear Simple Sally,

    Your post touched my heart! I so understand how you are feeling. You are at the beginning of a difficult "transferance" stage. You are numb, in shock, and in pain...in short, in post-traumatic shock.

    Yes, shock. To be a Jehovah's Witness, to truly believe that YOU are a "witness" of the only true God, and that your Brothers and Sisters in the "truth" are the only other "witnesess", and to then LOSE that identity...that is extremly rough. And, as you say, you have no real support system.

    You NEED ONE!!

    Get thee into couseling--immediately! I strongly suggest the 12 Step group for "Adult Children of Alcoholics". Don't scoff. This is primarly a group of "adult children" who need help in coming to terms with their pasts and their past choices and behavior. Most JW's learn to be very co-dependent. They have to be in order to be "humble", and to survive! And you really learn what it means to rely on Jehovah!

    Sally, please look into it! Give them a try! All of the 12 Step programs are centered on healing, and relying on God. And you will find true friends!

    Also, if you can get past any prejudice you may have against "worldly" Christians, I urge you to look for "Lakewood Church", on the "Family Channel", on Sunday nights. It comes on at 12:00am (midnight) in California. I think that it comes on at the same time everywhere in the states so you can adjust the time to your time zone.

    The pastor is a young man named Joel Osteen. Watch for him. He is extremly uplifting, and truly "brings light into a dark place". Also, Joyce Meyers is wonderful! She just "says it"!! (smile)

    You are in my prayers! And you will find so much support on this forum. I love this place! I was so alone for many years...but no more!

    Keep posting! Keep praying! Remember that man does not determine your standing before God, or with yourself! You will get through this. Giving birth to yourself is the hardest thing you will ever go through but it is worth it.

    Welcome to your life! Welcome home!

    Anne Marie

    "The unexamined life is not worth living."


  • chezza

    Hi Sally, i know exactly how you feel, i too am disfellowshipped and know the suffering you go through losing the only friends you ever knew, coming to this site has given me some comfort to know that there are others like us, i too hate going grocery shopping, i actually travel a bit so i dont have to run into any witnesses, they have no idea about our lives but follow the elders so easily about shunning us, if you ever need to talk feel free to email me

  • Lily

    Sally, Hi, For me being disfellowshiped was the best thing that ever happened to me. I realized that, as i left the parking lot the evening the disicion was made. I was so relieved, because i knew in my heart that even though every man be a lier, and they are, that Jehovah loved me more and perfectly. I have been striving to understand truth, thru Jehovahs eyes, and not mans. With the dicipline that i recieve from Jehovah, (the dicipline that i need to correct all the erroneous information, and horrifying examples i've been getting imperfectly)I intend to let Jehovah guide me thru Christ, and never let any human thing work me over again. I am not perfect yet, but i know better, thanks to Jehovah, because i care to know enough to get the very best! When i have enough order and strength i will go back to stand in the light and not in the darkness.

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