Where did Jesus ever say you are forgiven,but for 8 months you cant answer at the meetings or give a talk, or pray before the field service group. Which after 8 months of being on restrictions, or being punished, everyone and their dog knows you are in trouble. That is humiliating and why many dont confess. It is such bullcrap.
I got hit with the Probe the first time when I was 20. Then I moved out of state and joined a new congregation. Back then (1972) you were "On Proby" for a year. I moved the month I was supposed to get off Proby. Then I confessed another sin to the elders in my NEW cong. and THEY put me on probation. By the time I was due to get off THAT ONE, I'd left the b'ORG and joined the Nation of Islam.
I confessed in order for my wife to be scriptually free to remarry. I didn't have any interest in remaining a JW. In my letter, I stated that I did not want to discuss details of the incident and that I expected to be disfellowshipped. That cut them off if they had intended to grill me. So I don't know if it is common for them to grill down to specific details. I declined to even attend the first meeting they had, but came to a second meeting where they told me their decision. During the last meeting, they tried one last time to see if I'd change my mind by saying that they weren't voyeurs, but they did say they would have to find out what led up to the event in order to "help" me. So they didn't deny that they would want to know details, if I had wanted to stay in the organization.
I remember going to confession when I was about 20. I didn't want to go to the "family" priest because I was embarassed. I preferred to confess behind a confessional rather than face-to-face. I said, "I have premarital sex with my boyfriend."
Well, the priest (who I didn't even know) said that the way I phrased the statement didn't sound like I was repentant. He said I should pray about it. He asked me if I wanted to rephrase it and I said, "I have had premarital sex with my boyfriend." He then told me to "try to do better." I remember leaving feeling embarassed. But "embarassed" is not what I would have felt had I confessed to an elder! I think HUMILIATED would fit the scenario better.
The thing is that even though something is considered a sin in the Catholic and JWs, it's the way the whole thing is handled that is worlds apart. While a priest is concerned with a person's spirituality and relationship with God, the JW elder is more concerned with the reputation of the organization.