I stopped attending all meetings this summer. I prefer not to be dfed or to da myself. I just want to be inactive. I've been ignoring phone calls, texts and emails from members of the congregation, yet they continue nothing me and its really starting to stress me out! Is there anything I can do to stop them?
How do I get them to stop houding me?
by lostinthought 25 Replies latest jw friends
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eyeuse2badub
Just tell them that something is bothering you and you can't talk about it to anyone right now.
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tenyearsafter
Or tell them you are having serious mental health issues and that you are trying to sort things out...JW's typically shy away from people "like that"!
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LostGeneration
If you just stopped this summer, you are still in the early stages. The only real way to stop it is the DA.
Remember your goal, to leave and not let them hang you with a DF. Ignore is one way to do it, another is to simply reply with a nicely worded "please leave me alone, I am fine" kind of message.
They tire out after a while, usually six months to a year minimum. Hang in there.
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dazed but not confused
The most effective way I know of is to move, change your number and ignore emails. One the extreme side, you may be able to file a restraining order? If your going to do anything considered apostasy, don’t get caught. I haven’t moved and plan on putting up Christmas lights and tree in window this year. Someone in my old cong is always in the neighborhood it seems. I haven’t been df’d or da’d but from hearing other’s stories, I know it’s a possibility. Mrs. Dazed thinks their too lazy here to care but we shall see.
Good luck.
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Fernando
I am dealing with health issues and will let you know if and when I am in a position to receive further calls. In the meantime I would appreciate being afforded privacy.
If possible move to a foreign language congregation, have your record card forwarded there, and attend a single meeting.
Others have written better sounding suggestions in the past on JWN.
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wakingup60
Hya
When I stopped going to meeting they thought I was ill..( I was sort of..I had high blood pressure so i use that as an excuse..but i was so stressed out
when I found out TTATT ).... The book study conductor started calling me on my dayoff..I told him I will come back when I'm ready!
I's been 9mths now..haven't heard from them in the last three mths...
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NVR2L8
Tell them you know how to reach them and that you have not forgotten where the KHall is...but for now you need to be left alone. It worked for me.
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Stealth
I switched to another congregation, attended for a couple weeks and then stopped cold. No one really knew me well enough to notice or care. I was not contacted by anyone in 11 years and only then because one of my adult children started attending the same hall.
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AnnOMaly
Look at it from their point of view. If you've been a regular publisher and/or meeting attender and stop cold turkey, they are going to be worried about you/your spirituality and want to 'help' you. Also, many of them will want to be nosey and get some juicy gossip along the way.
We're in a similar position. Nobody would drop by our house ordinarily. Even with us being erratic attenders, just seeing us at the KH from time-to-time would settle their minds that all was well. However, since we stopped attending, now people are writing and calling and showing up out of the blue (usually when they're in FS or on the way home from the Sun. meeting) telling us how much we are missed. They mean well.
I don't think you can stop them (without the radical DAing or restraining order) but I think the intensity of their interest in you will wane over time. Be pleasant, appear relaxed and stonewall. Don't feel obligated to return all their calls. If you can't avoid answering the door, don't feel obligated to invite them in if they drop by unannounced. If they try to winkle out your reasons for quitting, tell them you don't want to discuss it with them and ask them how their lives are. Limit their time. Finish by saying how nice it is to see them, thanks for their concern, but you're busy/have an appointment and must go now. You take control. Always.