preventing baptism of minors

by og 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • desertflower

    If I remember right they always told us baptism was the most important
    thing that we would ever do and for us to write down when we
    were baptized. So we really need to be sure of what we are doing.
    I"m 68 yrs. old and never knew the history of JW until couple of
    years ago. I was baptized because my husband got baptized. Smart
    move Huh?? So don't do it just because someone else you love and
    want to be close to. Do it for the love of Jesus.
    You have had so much good advice sort it all out make it your own.
    Jesus sit the example for us to follow and we all know how old he
    was and he had it all together. I hope you can reason with her and
    she is willing to wait. I had 2 grandkids that was 16 & 17 when
    they were baptized and one was df and the other one pregant. & she
    just left the truth. Take care & my best to you.

  • Mimilly

    This was one of my major beefs with the borg. I would go to assemblies and conventions and constantly hear about Jesus being our model to follow, which included baptism. Then I would return home, hear it in the Sunday talks etc., and low and behold, they were - outside of the hall, pressuring parents to baptize preteens. I remember the toll it took on several youths. When I spoke up about it, the shunning began. I was then considered a dangerous person. One youth ended up in the psych ward, and his elder father and mom never came to see him. The boy was 16.
    If your daughter really wants to do this for Jehovah and not the borg, point out that Jesus is in fact the model to follow. (They say it enough anyway), so it would be fresh in her mind - then explain why it is NOT good to do this during the great upheaval that is teenagedom. Explain how her heart being devoted to Jehovah is far more important during this time than pleasing men (borg). My heart goes out to her. No one should be pressured into baptism. The borg certainly does not practice what it preaches.

  • blondie

    One question, should a 13 year old be able to get married?

    Then why can they get baptized?

    If they are not mature enough for marriage, why are they mature enough to get baptized which is the more serious commitment?

  • myself


    I am Noi's sister and i can assure you that the time she lost with our father is a terrible loss of many years. These years can never
    be replaced. They have a relationship now, but there are so many things that they will never be able to replace. You have so much to consider. Your daughter is at the beginning of her teenage years. This as an emotional enough time as it is. You will risk the chance of a loss for not maybe years, but possibly the rest of your lives. That is a high price to pay. Can you still accept her if she makes the choice to be baptised? She is going to be making decisions the rest of her life and needs to know that no matter what, you love her and will help her when she needs you.


  • Nemesis

    Hello og,

    I would ask her why she is so desperate to get baptised, and where she got the idea that it would somehow make her more safe. Get her to see that God would judge her on what she is, regardless of a dunking in water or not. I remember the feeling before I was baptised, thinking that if I didn’t hurry the door would be shut and I would get obliterated. You have to carefully get to this indoctrinated fear and get her to reason past it, and therefore remove the desperate feeling of needing to do it now. I would not get too heavy laying down the law, as she will just feel it’s all the more “the truth”, and that Satan is using you to push her away from God.

    The point about Jesus being 30 or so before he got baptised is excellent, as he was perfect, morally, spiritually, and emotionally. Ask her why would he wait if he was so mature? Get her to realise that age is not the issue, like marriage, waiting will not bring any harm, and baptism is more serous than marriage. Get her to see she can be faithful in her heart just the same without rushing in to baptism.

    I think the main thing is getting her to see the fear is self generated [and Watch Tower generated], and that it is unfounded. It may feel right, but it isn’t. Panic and dread are powerful emotions, and until you get to the root of them you are on an uphill struggle. Banning her from getting baptised may backfire, but getting her to see it’s not essential maybe the key to her leaving it for a good few more years. And hopefully you can get her before then to read some of the ‘Truth’ about “the truth”.

  • Scully

    Isn't there a scripture that says if a woman enters a contract and her husband or father (if unmarried) disagrees with it, the contract becomes null and void??

    There is also a law against minors entering contracts in many jurisdicitions. Just because the WTS clouds the "contractual" nature of a person's baptism by not making anyone sign documents, doesn't mean that a verbal "contract" does not exist.

    How do you suppose the WTS has gotten away with this for as long as it has?? Once you realize that your baptism was just a formality in finalizing your unpaid book-selling career with them, it doesn't seem to matter to them that you were baptized prior to the age of majority. They hold you responsible for upholding your "end" of the bargain, and if you mess up, they have the 'right' to revoke your privileges and association with them.

    Love, Scully

  • og

    Again, thanks everyone. Much food for thought, and good advice.

  • og

    To noi and myself (I'm talking to myself?): I basically agree with you... but otoh, if she gets baptized, moves out, and is faithful I'm gonna lose a lot years that way as well, wouldn't you say? What with her refusing to speak to me and all?

  • anewlife

    Og, my heart goes out to you!!!

    I have three sons. The two oldest were baptized when they were 10 and 11. (Way too young!) I was DF'd two years ago, when my youngest was 9. He was wanting to be baptized at that time as well. Of course, I was against it, but his father was encouraging him. I told my son it was ultimately his decision and I would love him and support him no matter what he did. However, I did have what I was going through and the shunning and rejection from our "friends" to kind of point out to him. So I said, "Do you see what a big decision, baptism is? Should you ever "sin" or have a change of heart as to the beliefs for ANY reason, this (being disfellowshipped and rejected and shunned by all) is the outcome. You might want to think about waiting until the next assembly (this way it didn't seem like too far off, but yet it was enough for him to do some thinking) and then see if you still feel baptism is something you want to do. Well, as time passed, his heart went out to me and saw how unloving JWs can be when you do not follow all their "rules." Today, my two oldest (teenagers) have stopped going and tell me how happy they are to be out and to have a chance at life. My oldest has started college and has great potential for making a very happy life and career. The two that were baptized told me they did it at the time because "everyone wanted them too" and they wanted to "do the mikes." At 10, 11, 12, 13 etc. do they REALLY know what they want? I know at 14 I got baptized only to please my dad.

    My advice is, find out WHY SHE wants to get baptized? Then if it is a legitimate reason, then tell her you love her and you'll always be her father and there for her no matter what she chooses in life. I promise you this will weigh more with her than anything else you could say.

    I wish you the best and keep me posted as to how the two of you are doing.


  • noidea
    if she gets baptized, moves out, and is faithful I'm gonna lose a lot years that way as well, wouldn't you say? What with her refusing to speak to me and all?

    {{{og}}}....I have to admit that I had not even thought about that. That is another thing you may want to bring up to her. I really hope the best for you and your family.

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