Dear Dr. Laura

by Elsewhere 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Elsewhere

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

    1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted disciple and adoring fan

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • dmouse

    Thanks for posting this, Elsewhere, simply super!
    I'm printing it out to save!

  • Scully

    Has anyone seen the episode of "Frasier" where Dr. Laura appears as a character named "Dr. Norah" dispensing the same kind of vitriolic "advice" to callers??

    "You're a single mother and you wonder why you have low self-esteem?? Well it's really quite simple, sweetie. You have low self-esteem because you're a whore."

    "There are some people you just don't need in your life!! No amount of therapy can help!! When you have a tumor, do you get a counsellor and say 'hey tumor, can we just get along here'? NO! You go to a surgeon and CUT IT OUT! That's what you have to do to her - your mother is a tumor!"

    I was actually surprised that she participated in the show considering how it was making fun of her advice and radio program....

    I suppose it's true what they say: Bad publicity is better than no publicity.

    Love, Scully

  • Francois

    Nemmine Dr. Laura, how 'bout the Jehoma Williamses? Shouldn't they be contacted since they are the only channel of communication that god is using today to tell us what to do in lock step? With no variation? Uniformity rather than unity?


  • LB
    "You're a single mother and you wonder why you have low self-esteem?? Well it's really quite simple, sweetie. You have low self-esteem because you're a whore."

    I'm sorry, that just really cracked me up. I've never bothered to watch Dr. Laura but if her real show is like that I'd have to tune in.

    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • Yerusalyim

    <~Still likes Dr Laura and her rather sound unapologetic no nonsense advice, still finds this letter just plain silly everytime I see it.

    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • TR

    I listen to Dr. Laura daily. Funny as hell, and she does a lot of good for kids, and helps peeps get out of bad situations.


    Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division

  • Shimmer


    I think that letter is as funny as hell. Dr. Laura is a rude bitch. I used to listen to her all the time. Especially when I was a witness. I used to be as judgemental as her. Since i've changed I can't stand to hear her voice. She doesn't even let people have a chance to talk most of the time. People are nervous when they call her and she picks up on one thing they say and runs with it, when that may not even give an answer to their problem. People may call with a question on how to handle something and she somehow turns it around on them and makes them look bad, when maybe they didn't even do anything wrong. I know, because I called her once and she was the rudest bitch to me and cut me off when I tried to respond to her.


  • SYN

    Hasn't this been posted before?

    During a code review, when I asked why there was not a comment in 240,000 lines of code which was getting handed to me for maintenance, the programmer replied, "I'm terse."

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