What they say and what they do, and what they SAY they do are ENTIRELY different things
Truer words were never spoken, LovesDubs.
The Society has "loosened up" (geez! just the terminology -- loosened up on the CONTROLLING REINS!) their position on school sports activities in recent years as they have on higher education. My teenage girls (albeit not baptized anyway, and children of a non-JW father) participated in high school swimming for the past two years. When my eldest went out for the team, which, actually, I permitted/encouraged her to do because she was a bit of a couch potato, I STILL found myself justifying her participation to the elder conducting my book study and any other JW who knew the "situation." And that's really how it was thought of, as "a situation" [implicit in the term: conduct somehow unbecoming a Witness child]. Of course, Katie could've cared less, but (as I remember in shame with head hung) I was still kowtowing to the Witness ideal of youth at that point in time. I remember myself actually rationalizing that because it was a sport where you competed against YOURSELF in trying to better your own individual time[s] as well as as a TEAM in learning discipline and responsibility that it was an okay thing to let the girls do.
Fortunately, because of my non-JW husband's presence, I allowed my children to do many things their JW peers could not do. It was, in actuality, ME encouraging them to have an outlet in dance, chorus, and sports (even YMCA! LOL), all the time knowing that the elders really couldn't call me to task for it, because of my unbelieving mate! (I learned my deceit at the hands of the masters, friends!)
Same with worldly holidays. I didn't accept birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day gifts, but I DID take the photographs, occasionally help my husband at 4 AM when he was running out of time to wrap the Xmas gifts for the kids (not too often though -- taking my STAND, dontcha know?), and never missed the family dinners out we had in lieu of cake and candles after dinner at home for everyone elses' birthday.
I cooked turkey almost every Thanksgiving, I LOVE sausage-flavored sage stuffing with cranberry sauce!!! After all, it's just another meal and the birds are on sale (an elder told me this -- more than once -- an oldtimer).
I think my son suffered the most. He has always been inordinately impressed/worried that God's ONLY Son had to die for mankind. Being an only son himself, I think he had some subconscious fears that HE was being sacrified on the WT altar! He's extremely bright. And we're done now, and he's 12, so I have hope he'll work all that out in future.
Our congregation used to have "gatherings" up until about '96 or so (?), when it seemed there was a crackdown from the Society because of an article in the WT stressing that the event must not be so large that it can get out of control. Also, the brothers would get together on Friday nights to shoot hoops at a local middle school gym. I'm not sure if the sports still goes on. In the past two years, there have been picnics with softball/volleyball and the like for special events like Bethel going away parties, a 25th Wedding Anniversary, celebrating the wedding of a sister that moved away from our congregation but still had ties. But NOT the "Congregation-sanctioned" barbecues of the past. And now a sister is planning a FORMAL Dinner/Dance to give the Friends a chance to dress up. Of course, our congregation was known to be the "party congregation" in the area. So Xandit's tales ring true to me.
We used to have parties at our house, too, when my husband was away on business, just so my kids could have some FUN! He didn't want the Witnesses in our house for the most part, and we had lots of giggles planning whom to invite so we could party before he came back. Hmmmmmm. None of the invited elders ever took me aside to ask if entertaining them against my opposed husband's wishes was wise or perhaps deceitful. I guess it's all good as long as it's for spiritual upbuilding in the theocratic war! (and as long as there's euchre and wine!)
Looking back, I think God was watching out for my kids by helping ME to be balanced. NOT Society "balanced", but Real World, dealing-with-real-people-with-different-views-and-feelings-balanced. I think they are not too strange and they have only worldly friends now!
Yet, given all the exceptions and the truly unorthodox manner of their upbringing during the 15 or so years I was in, every one of my four children would tell you that growing up a JW sucked!
outnfree
