Letter to BOE re: baptism of my minor children

by Michelle365 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  steve2

  All power to you! Way to go! Love the letter and would include the word, "legal" to drive home the point.

  There is a bit if a rub though - which changes nothing in your letter - but just to be aware of it: The elders may show your husband the letter and that may impel him to view your letter as a challenge. What if he discusses it with your daughters and frames it as "persecution" and gets them to drive the issue. Young people can be terribly self-absorbed and defiant under the best of conditions. Imagine that either or both of your daughters develop the notion that they should be able to decide for themselves they want to become baptized like all their same-age JW peers and begin to view you as an "opposer".

  Paradoxically, sometimes the best way to get young people to do something is to forbid it until they are old enough - it inadvertently creates an incentive for them to want to do it right now - especially if their peers are doing it! Yikes!
• 

  ruderedhead

  Sounds like a well thought out, intelligent letter. No threats, just the facts.

  Are you taking your children to another church so they can be exposed to the real truth of the Bible? Most churches have Bible study groups you and they could join to help them see the light. Or if that is too much, a pastor may be willing to work with them on pointing out some of the "misunderstandings" the witnesses have about the Bible. You don't want your ex, however well intentioned he may be, to bring them into this cult

  . It sounds like you are a great Mom! All the best to you!
• 

  Yan Bibiyan

  Michelle,

  I would look closer in the custody arrangement. Get help from a lawyer if need be. Is the decisionmaking spelled out there?

  May be helpful to bring the angle that going unilaterally on a matter that should be a joint decision in fact violates the terms of the divorce and custody arrangements. Again, obviously I do not know specifics, but may be a good angle to explore. Make it clear to the Elduhs that they will be aiding in such breach of terms/agreement.

  Best of luck!

  -Yan
• 

  problemaddict

  I don't know what kind of relationship you and your EX have. I don't kno if you guys have kind of a contemptuous custody thing. A little friend in the hall is all they need to feel like they belong there. Maybe when you have them, you take them places where they make other friends?

  In addition, i would seek legal council as already suggested, to see what you can and cannot demand. I would also talk with your girls. Tell them you love them, explain all you are asking is that they wait until after the are 18 (way after), to make a decision you aren't allowed to change your mind about.

  Think of it like a tatoo, except instead of ink on your arm its your whole social structure in your head.
• 

  Gypsy Sam

  Great idea! I'm sending you a PM.
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  Oubliette

  Great letter!

  One suggestion concerning the first sentence of the 4th paragraph:

  I do not feel that JXXXX or HXXXX are old enough or mature enough to understand and comprehend ...

  I would revise it to read something like:

  JXXXX or HXXXX are not old enough or mature enough to understand and comprehend ...

  The word "feel" is too passive and soft. The first sounds like it's just your opinion. (You're just the mother, who cares what you think!) You need strong, unequivocal language here!

  Save your children if you can!!!

  Oubliette
• 

  Perry

  I would make it far simpler. I would ask that I be present when they explain to my children BEFORE they get baptized that Jesus is not, and never will be a Mediator between them and God, as a baptized Jehovah's Witnesss.

  I would then challenge them to provide even ONE New Testament scripture that shows how a person can get their sins forgiven OUTSIDE of the New Covenant.

  If they cannot produce even one scripture that shows how a person can get their sins forgiven OUTSIDE of the New Covenant, then I would tell them that they should be ashamed of themselves for holding themselves out to be bible teachers.

  Fight fire with fire. JW's do not tell new members that Jesus is not their Mediator. You find this out WAY later....if ever at all.

  If your teenage children want to join a religion that denies Jesus as their Mediator that stands between them and God's justice, then let them go ahead and do it. If they do not fear God's justice, they probably won't care too much about what your wishes are.
• 

  whathappened

  I applaud your effort. those elders are smart, they will not approve them for baptism. I would also watch out that they don't go getting baptised behind your back. They could sneak a swimsuit in their book bag and figure what you don't might wont hurt you, thinking Jehovah will bless them. This is a tough situation. If you haven't already, use all your influence to get them out of that cult!
• 

  Michelle365

  Thank you again for all the enouragement and tips/ideas/comments. I'll try to answer the questions posed.

  @steve2- I agree and I get what you're saying. This is a long shot and I'm aware it may backfire. My main goal is to do anything and everything that MAY prevent them from making a huge mistake at such a young age.

  @ruderedhaed- I am not taking them to any other churches at this point. I have considered it off and on for years, but really really just don't want too. I want no part of god or religion.

  @yanbibiyan- I did talk to a friend who is a divorce laywer and an exjw last night. He gave me some great tips very much along the lines of what you said. His advice was to put into the letter the actual wording from our custody agreement and to give the case number and information so that the elders know that it's a legally binding contract that my ex signed and not just some random agreement between him and I.

  @problemaddict- My ex and I have a great relationship as long as I do whatever he wants all the time without question and don't ever ever challenge him. Much like our marriage. :-) Of course I have been talking to my kids. I've discussed it at length and always try to frame it as just WAITING, not forbidding them to ever get baptized, just asking them to wait until they are 18 at LEAST if not older.

  @oubliette- great point! thanks. I changed it!
• 

  Flg8ter

  Breaks my heart when kids are involved with the cult nonsense. I saw this same thing happen, firsthand. Not to me, but someone close. The child was a minor, mom is DF'd, father and his family is insane! The father's family, not as much him, love bombed and guilted the minor into getting baptized. Of course being a minor, the mom was opposed. And she was not really opposed to the baptism, she said it was the minor's choice to do so, the when minor WAS LEGAL. Which is all she wanted, for the minor to make an informed responisble decision.

  Anyways, one word of warning. The minor here, was warned before hand by the dad's family.......Satan was going to use mom to try and stop the baptism. It's not mom talking, it's satan talking through and using mom!! So when mom said something...it turned into OMG you were right?!? Satan really did use mom?!?! Children's mind are so easily molded and so open to suggestion, it's scary. The important thing here, is to make sure the kids know where you are coming from. That it is their choice......when they are old enough to make such a life altering decision.

  Best best of luck to you!!