Looking for advice (page 4)

Liveandlearn

It's insane laverite. Had they had brotherly affection for the weak and those who've fallen an supported them I wouldn't be in here reading up about the building sales and other interesting facts. Shunning isn't to help sick ones back. It's to hold their family ransom. I absolutely feel no guilt and will get back in by whatever means Necessary. I feel so much pity for the ones who think they're actually doing th rights thing by following their rules to the letter

MadGiant

" I absolutely feel no guilt and will get back in by whatever means Necessary."

What about the girl that lives with you?

Is she disposable?

Ismael

jgnat

The girl is obviously disposable. My JW husband at least, sacrificed all to stay with me. In the weird Witness way, that's love.

Does the girl have any beliefs of her own? If so, how dare you call her worldly. You are the one prepared to be a fake, not her.

You could marry her and still get reinstated. That is if you have any sort of commitment to her at all. All that would be compromised is your "status".

Liveandlearn

As mentioned in the title I'm looking for advice. with respect I don't have to justify myself for anyone nor have my current relationship questioned, I'm looking for people who may have been in a similar situation who can help me work out the process of how to do things. I've been lied to a good portion of my life, have seen hypocrisy in people dodging taxes then answering up about cesars things to cesar. If i get back in then maybe I can subtly open a few people's eyes to what's going on around them. but that's by the by. My motivation is for my parents

My partner's and family all know about my past and present (although they are all staunch athiests and won't ever be able to understand religion in any sense) and is happy for me to do what it takes to get back in for my parents sake. They're happy to support in any way possible, regardless of the short term pain. We're confident in our relationship but it's new, we're building a relationship and I don't want to get rush married to tick a box for the elders. Love and commitment would be nice but its seeming impossible

whichever way happens it seems I lose.

MadGiant

"I'm looking for people who may have been in a similar situation who can help me work out the process of how to do things."

Sorry, I was in a similar situation. I was dispose of.

Ismael

jgnat

Alllll right. If you plan on keeping a shred of integrity through all this, this is how a reinstatement and fade would work, and you keep your commitment to your live-in.

Take as long as you like to build a commitment with your partner, and marry her at your leisure. If it doesn't work out, separate amicably. You are ready for a reinstatement plan, with or without her.
Then begin attending all meetings and apply for reinstatement. It won't take less than six months, and will take longer if the elders are peeved with you. Complete all activities as requested and show the requisite humility. Hint that your significant other might be interested in a study, but not quite yet.
Immediately after your reinstatement announcement, begin your fade plan. Have it written out to keep on track. Start missing field service here and there. Remember to mark down four hours a month in "family study" with your wife. Then start missing meetings. The following summer, take an extra long vacation and forget to come back in the fall. You are officially faded.
You might also move after reinstatement to a new hall, and simply "forget" to show up.

I mean, your parents don't have a life-threatening illness do they? There isn't any urgency, is there?

ABibleStudent

Liveandlearn - Good for them for sticking to their morals. I admire that and maybe if I had their faith I wouldn't be in this situation. Nor could I destroy their faith for my own selfish means.

Hi Liveandlearn, It is not your parent's morals that are forcing them to shun you. It is the WTBTS's BITE control techniques that are influencing your parent's cult persona to shun you. If your parent's were following their authentic persona's morals, they wouldn't be shunning you.

You really need to read Steve Hassan's books to fully understand how you and your parent's have been indoctrinated and victimized by the WTBTS's BITE control techniques.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

franticfran

I agree with "finally awake" my son in laws parents wont speak to him either because he does not attend meetings,he is angry and hurt and blames "this terrible religeon" but sadly the truth is they themselves are choosing to ignore him,see me walking past my kids in the street ?,never in a million years!

problemaddict

Hey bud,

Well there is a slight issue here. You want to rejoin a high control group for the sake of your family that you may or may not agree with (seems liek you don't as your being here is already an act of defiance), while simultaneously not changing the things you are currently doing that people would get disfellowshipped for.

Its like you want to play basketball.....but with your feet. Well you can't do that. Its not the way the game is played.

So your only choice is to LIE or CHANGE BEHAVIOR, if you want back in for whatever reason you want it. You could easily lie your way into it, but then you will be dishonest. In my experience, being dishonest with yourself or others does alot of harm to you, especially when you are young.

So just lie to them about where you live. Lie to them about what you are doing. Go shed some tears and tell them all the things you know they want to hear. Then when you are reinstated, don't go in service, and stop attending meetings........you will prob be shunned by a very strict household anyways. I don't know. You have alot to consider here.

Liveandlearn

I've lied my entire life. does lying a bit more matter? not really.

No theres no urgency. there's enough time to wait a few years, but i don't want an accident to happen and for me to be shunned at a funeral or not be able to go to a hospital. my dad's got failing health although its not urgent but when he flairs up he can deteriorate in a matter of hours.

ABiblestudent, you're right. I'll give the guy a look

jgnat..... thanks for this. i forgot about reporting and the formality, hours on reports for this and that.

Fading seems like the best option. I dont care about attending the odd meeting once every few months so even if my parents are strict i'll do the barest minimum to stay under the radar. xmas and birthdays aren't an issuelike visiting the doctor right? I've learnt i still feel the urge to get things done quickly, like I can't get the imminent end of the world out of my head

Looking for advice

Share this