" I guess I just need to remind myself once in a while that I am making progress, to give myself a pat on the back, and stop grieving over the past." ............WE must all find a way to love ourselves first. The bible thought of “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.”—ACTS 20:35. But self-esteem and self-worth must be built first IMHO .........................................................................................................both virtues and vices––everyone has at least eight good traits and eight less desirable ones. Don't beat yourself up––it's a whole bundle and you get to work on the parts you don't like. What matters is recognition at this point, acknowledging which traits you feel let you down in some way and finding good traits that you have probably never even thought about. .............................................................................................................Stop telling yourself negative stuff. Things such as "I am so fat" or "I am so stupid", do not help you, period. They are bad stories that you choose to tell yourself and they do not let you off scot free from having to continue to work on yourself, which is often a compelling reason for maintaining a negative view of yourself. Instead, choose to tell yourself a different, more self-respectful story whenever the negative voice raises its noise level. Tell yourself helpful things, such as "I need to work on my schoolwork harder", "I will get that promotion if I spend more time reviewing my management skills" or "I may be short but I am the fastest and most agile person on this field". these are just a couple of thoughts from this site ...............................................................................................................http://www.wikihow.com/Image:Love-Yourself-First-So-Everything-Else-Falls-Into-Line-Step-07.jpg .......................................................................................................................I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. ~~~~~~Lucille Ball.................................................................................................................. P.S I am having the same problem I can't make paragraphs ...it all runs together only dots to break things up
does anyone really overcome co-dependence behaviors?
by love2Bworldly 12 Replies latest jw friends
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LV101
Have you checked out the book Codependent No More by Melody Beatty (sp?). That book is highly recommended to codependents and is a study source in many codependent groups throughout the world. She's famous because of that book and is considered a pioneer in the field. She encourages codependents to join codependent groups because you will learn so much about yourself, others and how to deal with life. You can search for a codependent group in your area by googling cOda.org. You will hear others give testimony that will resemble your very own situation or answers to your problems -- you'll gain strength from the group to help you change and grow. If you don't have time for a group meeting try the online cOda. The author of "Codependent No More" says there's power in those groups and she's survived quite a bit. Actually, many recovering alcoholics end up in the codependent groups because now they have to learn how to live differently even though they've conquered the alcohol. Codependent meetings weren't always available like AA, Al-Anon, etc., and many codependents used to have to go to Al-Anon meetings (which were very good for them) to learn basics but finally these specific Codependent meetings were formed and have really grown.
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LV101
blondie -- you are one tough cookie! Did you really cut off all contact with your FOO (family of origin)? WOW! Al Anon gave you the skills to do this? That is amazing. The cOda.org group meetings today have many from AA and Al Anon, etc., from what I understand. My friend who attends meetings said it's true - many AA members part of the group and they say it's the hardest program to follow because it takes so much grit/determination to peel the onion, face all the denial and change. I think the author of Codependent No More started in the Al Anon group before there were codependent groups around. She, like you, was a success. I think later in her life she had to return and at that point attended the cOda meetings.
