April 20 is a sad anniversary for my family

by Mulan 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon
    Simon

    That is so sad and such a tragic waste which has obviously affected so many people.

    I can only imagine how much it must hurt judging by how sad just reading it makes me feel.

  • Kristen
    Kristen

    So sorry, Mulan.

  • ZazuWitts
    ZazuWitts

    (((Hugs) and understanding dear Mulan.
    So many tragedies resulting from Watchtower dictates...so many lives changed forever...so very, very sad.

  • SEAKEN2001
    SEAKEN2001

    Mulan,

    that was the saddest day of my life prior to 2001. I am so disgusted that I went along with the rumor mill Mrs Rocky speaks of. I had no idea of the things your brother was facing. But he was an apostate because he left and dared to explore new ideas. What a waste. Please accept my appologies and condolences on this anniversary of Janice's death. Please pass along my thoughts to your brother and the girls. I miss you all terribly. I wish I could be there to give you all a hug in person. I love you all.

    Sean

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Mrs. Rocky alluded to the rumor mill about my brother, after his wife died, and how it was his fault. The reason for that is that they were having the baby at home, a very popular thing to do back then. The baby was nearly 3 weeks overdue, and large (nearly 12 pounds), and would NOT be born. The midwife sent them to the hospital in the middle of the night. Emergency room doctors had to try and get the baby out, and used "high" forceps, and ruptured the artery, and literally killed the baby with the forceps.

    I hesitated to add those details here, but decided to, after all. People said later, that she died because my brother insisted on a midwife and having the baby at home, and that if she were in a hospital all along, it wouldn't have happened. I agree with the last part, but Janice was EXTREMELY modest and didn't want a male doctor. Someone recommended this midwife, and she liked her and was comfortable with the decision. My brother tried to talk her into doing it a different way, but she was adamant! She had her other children that way, but it had been 13 years earlier, and she was 35 when she had the last baby.

    My brother behaved unusually in the days that followed, and it continued for a long time. He went to the meeting the day after she died, and commented, behaving quite normally. My aunt (Sean's grandmother) and I stayed with him for a few days, to help with the girls, and we all decided that shock makes you do strange things. We didn't want to go to the KH, but he kept saying "that is the best place to be". How could we argue with that logic?

    My brother was a very well known elder in the area, and Janice was from a well known family North of Seattle, so there were about 500 people at her memorial. I don't know how the brother who gave the talk, got through it. He choked up so often, I wondered what he would do.

    I agree, Sean, it was the saddest day of my life, before the day your mother died. We all miss you too. We (Dave and I and Rachel and her family) are going to Twanoh today, to get oysters and 'visit' Sharon.

    One of my good friends, from this board, emailed me telling me about something wonderful that happened on April 20, in her life. It reminded me that it isn't only a sad anniversary, because one of my little grandsons was also born on April 20, 3 years ago. Happy Birthday, Sammy!!

    Marilyn (aka Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

  • jeffory
    jeffory

    mulan,

    sorry for your grief, you just hope loved ones eventually recover and find some kind of meaning and satisfaction in their life.
    those events touched indirectly on the life of my wife and i as we had been studied with by ray and bonnie dienes who knew of the tragedy as my wife was pregnant with our 2nd daughter and it brought home the risks.
    My wife and I are now living in moscow , working at the embassy
    hope you and your's find comfort.
    jeffory

  • Angharad
    Angharad

    ((((Mulan & family)))))

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    ((((((((mulan and family))))))))

    I can relate to how your nieces would feel at losing a mother at a young age, as the same happened to me. It wasn't over the blood issue, but any death of a parent to a child is traumatic enough.

    Funnily enough, our family also went to the meeting the morning after my mother died.

    Perhaps this was the thinking of what "spritually strong" JWs should do? Who knows?

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    jeffory!!! I have heard of you. My husband works for a contractor (not a witness) who told him about you. How is it over there???

    Marilyn (aka Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

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