Seems very easy to leave now, why do people hesitate?

by Xanthippe 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  RoyalFlushPhil

  It's not that simple, people need something besides facts to waken up their minds, having known elders who don't believe all the Watchtower's teachings and claim of being the "one and only true religion" make's it that much more difficult for the regular or limited knowledge witness.

  The founders of some websites tried to show their family members the truth about the truth only to have them say "Even if I am wrong, "I will know in my heart we are the closest to true religion there is, my life was not in vanity!".
• 

  NewYork44M

  you stated: "it seems incredibly easy compared to leaving in 1989."

  Forget about 1989, think about those that left a decade or more before - there was not much of anything other than what you could find at the public library. My brother left in the mid 70s. He was a island among a torrent of criticism from family and friends. There was nothing then to hang on to.
• 

  NewYork44M

  I learned TTATT in the mid 1990s, and it took me another 10 years to exit. I doubt I could do what I did without the internet. I tip my hat to those who left before the massive amount of information available with two or three clicks of a mouse.
• 

  kaik

  I will say the biggest problem is social interaction. As a cult organization, JWs broke social network with their families, friends, peers, and dedicated their social ties to organization only. This cut them off from external environment and created delusional world of reliance among JWs only. Many members do not know anyone outside the KH and this makes the break difficult. This is especially true for older generation that lacks technology to interact in era of Facebook and mobile apps. My mom is almost 80, she knows that WT is much of BS as she does not recognize it as the same organization that she was 40 years ago. We have aunts, uncles, sibling, cousins in. If she leaves, she is afraid to lose social contact with them. My cousins who are elders will shun her. She may lose interaction with grandchildren. However, the younger generation is not as totalitarian self-sacrificing group as the elderly of the Knorr era. There is a hope that these people will have much easier way out and would not even bother with the KH social network.
  
• 

  done4good

  If it were just about the "truth", or the desire to have the truth, it would be easy for anyone to leave today. The reality is, it is not about that for most people, and never was.

  As some have noted here, to some extent the reason most find it hard to leave, is the fact that the organization as a whole plays upon our nature as social creatures. We do not naturally allow ourselves to be put into situations that cause us to separate ourselves from loved ones. Choosing to openly stop believing automatically creates such a situation. We all intrinsically know this.
  

  It takes a special person to leave on the desire for truth alone. I wish I was that good. It took some big f@cking tough life lessons that forced me to walk away from the WT. This was as a successful, educated adult at that.
  

  Self honesty is the most liberating thing a person can have, but it is very expensive.

  d4g
  
• 

  Phizzy

  Being a born-in it was a hell of a wrench to leave when I did. At that time all I had discovered was that 1914 was wrong, nothing more. I was not sure if Jehovah had rejected the Org.or if He was allowing error to be within it for some reason.

  Within days of leaving I had decided that Jehovah had never had the WT as His Org, and it was founded on lies, and maintained by lies, how could a God of Truth have anything to do with it ?

  There was no way a lover of truth like me could stay, or could ever go back, but I knew my family would probably shun me, and I wasn't at that point at all sure about Mrs Phizzy's attitude.

  Getting hold of the information needed to help me on my way was easy in 2008, there was the whole Internet, and especially JWFacts and this estimable Site.

  Emotionally it was hard, my whole world view had to change, I lost family, friends and contacts.

  But my Personal Integrity was in good shape, and new friends etc would come, even a new family to a degree, we have drawn much closer to our non-JW relatives since leaving.
• 

  Xanthippe

  Great story thanks Phizzy. I've drawn closer to my non-JW cousin since leaving too after losing my entire JW family. Made a few friends who have been there for me through thick and thin. It does seem a huge wrench after having dozens of friends in the JWs but where are they now? True friends stick around no matter what.

  Interesting thoughts from everyone, some I hadn't come across before.

  Done4good yes the organisation plays on our nature as social creatures so self honesty becomes very expensive. Very true, how evil is that in the twenty-first century. It's positively medieval to make people choose between integrity and family.

  So Simon it's easier to be 'less in' in some ways, less involved. Perhaps that makes it harder to leave.
• 

  cookiemaster

  I don't know how anyone could say it's easy to leave. It isn't! It's easy to see through the bullshit. It's easier to find TTAT. It's easier to acquire knowledge, to recognize you're in a cult, etc. But it is NOT easier to leave. It's just as hard and for one reason. Family (this includes close friends). You can't just turn your back on family. You can't abandon and betray them by leaving them alone in the hands of a psychopathic corporation.
• 

  Finkelstein

  Still people find it so hard to leave. Just wondering why, not meant as a criticism.

  There many pertaining reasons why many people have a hard time leaving this religious organization.

  Such as maybe the WTS is telling the truth that judgment day is coming soon. ???
  

  The loss of family and friends who are predestined to avoid you as person who shamefully left god's organization to join Satan and his wicked system of things.

  The possible loss of a job and other connecting social relations with other JWS for work /employment.

  The lack of a education toward whet is ancient mythology and why it happened selectively by the ancient Hebrews is another possibility to hold people into mental submission.
  
• 

  Mephis

  It seems to me still darned hard for people to leave. Just a lot more access to support and information as you do it now. I left mid-90s and the fundamental issues are still the same for any non-believing born-in leaving in their late teens today. Do you take the shunning (if baptised) or try to fade or keep up the masquerade? I've noticed a definite hardening on the shunning aspect over the past 20 years. The increased ability to remain in contact with people makes fading more difficult (I did a year of coming down with every sickness I could think of trying to do a fade - bit easier with once a week phonecalls). And the masquerade is one I have a lot of empathy for those who feel they need to do it because of their own circumstances.

  I found my own personal choice easy to make given the options. But it's never going to be easy leaving a high control group which provides almost every social contact you have.