JW upbringing - the gift that keeps on taking

Simon

The things they take from you:

First they take your childhood
Then they take your family
Finally they take your memories

We all know that you limit your social interactions so you have few school friends who are not JWs. They openly promote this in their magazines and it's repeated at meetings throughout your formative years. So, no school meetups for you ...

If you leave then you can lose contact with your immediate family and of course, you probably never had much to do with any non-believing extended family in the first place. So, no family events and meetups for you ...

But then you are free and clear ... right? They can't hurt you anymore after that can they?

You may not realize just how much they have actually taken from you until many years later.

As well as missing out on meetups with old school friends you miss out on meetups with any old friends. So even the good memories that you had? Yeah, you don't get to share them or reminisce with anyone. No one who was there will talk to you about it and when they talk about it without you then you are probably erased from the scene.

Pictures of outings and trips from days gone by? They become reminders of loss and pain instead of good times, even if they were good times when you were there.

Heck, even things that should be special and treasured such as your wedding are tainted. Your wedding album becomes a hundred stabs as your eyes scan the faces of people who now shun you.

You cared about them once, they pretended to care about you. Now they are all gone.

Memories of life events that can never be re-lived or remembered, taken, stolen, trampled on. All for power and control.

Has this happened to you?

Do you find it affects you socially?

Do you feel yourself holding back from making connections or limiting how close people can get to you?

Las Malvinas son Argentinas

Their shunning policy is a stroke of genius. It's the most useful tool to keep families in, while at the same time making it unbearably difficult for anyone who seeks their own life outside this sect. I think of my step brother, who has recently announced that he is seeking to get reinstated after almost 15 years of being disfellowshipped. After finding no success in keeping something of a relationship with his JW friends and family, and struggling financially, he moved abroad for a job opportunity and to piece his life together with his wife and three children. Then the unthinkable happened. He lost his job, and there he was, in a foreign country with practically no support network. He faced the prospect of being homeless with his spouse and three young children. After living in shelters and on whatever charity others chose to give him, he realised what a desperate plight they were in and finally gave in and called his JW mum, my father's ex-wife. Suddenly he had an apartment ready for him and employment possibilities with some local JWs. There was a condition though. He must get reinstated, his never-a-JW wife must start studying, along with their kids. After such a traumatic experience, JWs actually sounded better than what he had before. I must watch now as he is steering his family into this mess of a religion. But I understand why he made the choice that he did. He simply ran out of options. And that's where the JWs get you. Anyone else wouldn't think twice about a religion they abandoned years ago, but they have families as their active recruiters and agents. Failure to show an interest in coming back will result in the last available doors in your life being shut.

Powerful1

Simon,

This is the sad reality of belonging to a cult.

My boyfriend has strong family relations, high school buddies, college buddies, fraternity buddies, corporate buddies; his kids are still friends with people he grew up with, plus they have all of these ties and memories. He's 61 years old...so you can picture the friendships he has developed without barriers.

So then there's me...raise a JW. I've been out for 15 years...but starting friendships at 30 years old, is totally different then starting them in your formative years. So most of the time, when I'm socializing with him and my newly formed friends, I feel like a social retard.

But I look on the bright side...I left when my children were ages 3 and 11, so they have been able to form life long bonds with friends. They were able to join the boy scouts, participate in sports, join the army and alot of other activities in life that help you make some wonderful bonds and to know what true brotherhood, sisterhood relationship are.

ILoveTTATT

Malvinas:

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!

I have always noted that the "prodigal son" only came back because he ran out of options and saw his life was miserable. Had he used his money well and not had a need to come back, he would have never come back.

As you said, the shunning policy is a stroke of genius... evil genius, but genius nonetheless. Also keeps apostates from bringing down the house since you have a short period of time before you can convince others of TTATT.

Simon:

So sorry for what they have taken from you. I too, will one day experience your same pain. I am not looking forward to it... but I am also looking forward to the good things: I will have my life ahead of me. Also, I am happy for you that you kept your wife and children. Not minimizing your pain (It's horrible, and I am sorry), but just want to cheer you up by reminding you of the fact that you have your wife, who I am sure you dearly love, and your children, who again I am sure you dearly love.

I also want to cheer you up by saying THANKS A MILLION!! Your website can and has saved countless lives, both figuratively, and possibly, literally!!

You can build memories with us too!! If there are ex-JW's near you, and they can meet up with you, perhaps you can make new friends and... 5 years down the road, you will have good memories!!

Maybe renew your wedding vows or something with your new friends there?

I just want to cheer up the one who makes this community happen...

ILTTATT

TotallyADD

How right you are Simon. Childhood? What childhood? No memories of anything normal. Plenty of memories of sitting at assembly's being bored to death or scared to death about being killed by god. No going to baseball games or football games. No birthday parties because that is evil. No special day's at all. Memorial of Christ death is not a special day. That just means staying up late on a school night so you can sit some more and be bored. No real friends. No hope for the furture at all. All you hear day in and day out is how god is going to kill everyone soon so don't have any friends or think about getting a education. Yes the cult has taken a great toll on all our childhoods.

I am just now beginning to get to know family I was isolated from because they were not JW. For those who are JW all they worry about is if you are following orders from the GB. If not why? They don't care about you or how you feel. All they care about is not taking any responsiblity for themselves and projecting their feelings on others.

My memories right now are full of pain. The pain of being raised in the JW cult. The pain of raising my children in the JW cult. The damage has been done and there is no turning the clock back. So forward I go trying to make some sense out of this life I have left. Making new connections is a very slow process. They have come and will continue to come but they take time.

My hope is someday our children will also wake up and see the damage this cult has done to them. How their cult thinking is destroying themselves and their children. I hope to live long enough to see them finally come to their senses. But for now I worry about them knowing they will have nothing to do with us because we will not walk the path of the cult. Totally ADD

jgnat

Having a rather messed-up childhood myself, I've taken comfort from the findings of Zimbardo in his book the Time Paradox. I set aside those childhood memories that give me misery and concentrate on the scant traditions that give me comfort.

Throw in a little hedonism for the present and ambitions for the future, and I'm set.

OUTLAW

Good Morning Simon!..

You hit the nail on the head with this thread..

Childhood Stolen..Family Broken..Photo albums you`d rather not look at..

When you leave,there is no old life to go back to..You have to figure out how to live in the real world..

Things you should have learned at a much younger age,you have to learn now..

That being said..

I`m Grateful to have Escaped

WatchTower World..

....................... ...OUTLAW

JW upbringing - the gift that keeps on taking

Simon

Las Malvinas son Argentinas

Powerful1

ILoveTTATT

TotallyADD

jgnat

OUTLAW

Watchtower-Free

mouthy

cantleave

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