Former Elders? What did you not like about serving as an elder?

by JakeM2012 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  JakeM2012

  A few of my pet peeves were:

  The PO/Cobe knowing that he needed to have an elders meeting after the meeting but not telling any other elders. Humm, but his wife knew. His family would show up at the hall with two cars so his wife and children could go home, but the other elders and their families were stuck waiting and kids having homework. It never ended up a "short" meeting.

  Another beef I had, was an elder having the bookstudy in his house, (god I'm old), but would not turn the air conditioning on until the meeting started and it was set very high. (He was cheap or could not afford to run the air conditioner) If you were the reader or the conductor, he insisted that you wore your suit jacket, although it was HOT in the house. Oh, I just loved the Texas summers.

  We got directions that the elders meetings were supposed to be limited to two hours (?, bad memory) and the PO/Cobe just kept going as if the council did not apply to our elders meetings.

  What were yours?
• 

  confusedandalone

  I hated when it was time to select who would be ona committee and people would nominate someone else instead of themselves.

  I haaated when the PO/CoBE Secretary and SO would met and make decisions and then tell the rest of the "body" they went ahead and made the decision.

  I hated when people would talk about an issue before coming to the meeting and form an aliance to get there view across
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  snare&racket

  Having never had any real urge for a role in the cong, I never experienced being an MS or an Elder.

  What were the most significant behind the scenes goings on that a publisher had no idea of?

  (hope you agree its relevant to the thread because I am sure it would gnaw at anyone decent too)
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  JakeM2012

  Sure thing, Snare and Racket, good question, "What were the most significant behind the scenes goings on that a publisher had no idea of?"
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  Wasanelder Once

  For me it was the dynamic in the body of elders, the older guys, 80's were yes men to the younger and more demonstrative types, the PO and the Service Committee. They ran the joint. Everyone else had to fight to get any input. That's when it became very unmanagable. There were sides. This made it hell because I wasn't on the popular side. There was so much petty jealousy that it became stupid to stick with it. Everything the Bible condemns was there, nepotism, simony and just plain idiocy.
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  prologos

  having to deal with emotional issues, that would have been better understood, handled by a lady.

  The sword thing of salomon does not work now.
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  proandcon

  Amazing to me at how little the bible was used in discussing any issues...amount of ridiculous letters from the WTS that needed to be read, pettiness in dealing with issues, usually only a few do most of the heavy lifting, rest sit and watch or are just smart enough to get out of the way.

  Politics involved in selecting ones to be given "priveleges" in the congregation (mics, wt read, sound, parking security, etc) and in the semi annual review of all male publishers to see who might qualify to be an elder or MS. Moaning by the secretery all the time about low hour publishers and people not getting time slips in to him on time.

  Pretending there was an active and formal shepherding program. There never was any substantive program in any of the 4 congregations I was in up north and now in the south. Kiss a$$ of the CO when he showed...a real dog and pony show.

  Attitude of the ones "just going thru the motions...always excuses...
• 

  DJS

  I hated having to take some of the nonsense being spewed, I mean lovingly shared, from Brooklyn and trying to act like I agreed with it. I'm not good at that, and my true feelings would give me away every time. How some on this board are capable of staying in positions of leaderhip right now in the Borg while simultaneously burying their disdain for the control and lack of love show by the WI is admirable but not in my DNA.

  The second thing I hated most was the extreme egos amongst the elders. Most were uneducated and their only claim to fame in life was their eldership. I became disillusioned quickly upon seeing that the closer I got to the core of the apple the more rotten the apple became. Our Hall was known to have a loving, balanced body of elders but in reality almost all of them were nasty, dark, egomaniacal little men who thought they and their families were somehow better or more priviliged than the rank-in-file.
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  cantleave

  The expectation that my kids (including my autistic son) should always be exemplary!
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  TotallyADD

  The fact that others would treat you like you was paid to do what we did. All the other comments ring true also. Oh, the 2AM phone calls from mentally ill pub. telling me I do now love them not knowing I had to wakeup early that morning to go to work. Totally ADD