BLUE PILL- What you are feeling is certainly normal. Many of us have experienced these feelings since exiting the Witnesses. I have two JW daughters who for 10 years now won't have anything to do with me or my 28 year old son, their brother. And we only faded,didn't DF or DA ourselves. On The Way Out's suggestion is a good one to read " Freedom of Mind " by Steve Hassan if you haven't done so already, or read his " Releasing the Bonds " book. Both of those books helped me to de-personalize my daughters shunning to an extent and realize that they are mentally ill suffering from a psychological disorder caused by cult mind control called " dissociative disorder ". It causes these people to lose ant authentic human compassion and devote it ALL to the WT Society's purpose. And it's been diagnosed as an actual clinical psychological illness in the American Medical Association Journal.
I know that knowing that doesn't take away all the hurt- but for me at least it helped me to understand that IF my daughters were in full control of their own minds ( which they are not - WT owns their minds ) then my daughters would call me today or tomorrow apologizing for their shunning me and we could regain our relationship we used to have when they were young teenagers over 10 years ago.
So your JW family and friends have polluted minds trapped, manipulated, and controlled by WT Society powers like wild animals in a zoo - but your family doesn't realize it. All we can do my friend is remain hopeful and be there one day when and if our children or loved ones break free hopefully from the WT malaise and control. Try to stay busy with life's experiences as you are doing - hobbies, camping, playing guitar, tennis, or wrap yourself around non-JW people who will give you support and unconditional love who will be authentic caring humans to you. You NEED that, I NEED that, all of us do once we exit the Witnesses to fill the void that was left when JW's started shunning us.
Please don't take your life. It's not worth it to give the WT Society another casualty and deceased victim. They've done their share of killing people in the thousands already. Remember Oompa here on the board. We are here for you my friend if you ever want to talk. And please know and understand that we love you in a very real humane way. WE understand your pain, some of us live it every day. I'll PM you my phone number if you'd like to chat sometime, O.K. ? If you feel you need some professional counseling though - PLEASE - by all means seek that counseling or a good therapist before doing anthing severe. Life IS worth living, dying from WT abuse is not worth it. SEnding a PM shortly. Love and hugs, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
