Last night the one cool elder calls me (page 3)

Sammy Jenkis

Sounds like he might've stopped drinking the kool-aid, I would request to be left alone and enjoy the deep sea fishing in November.

All the best,

bigmac

maybe your fishing buddy is fishing--for a job

Yeah I know of several brothers and sisters that are clearly back in the world and going to other churches but are not DFed. I think this is what happened as Dfing them would of brought up a huge stink and would of made the org look really bad. In one case a couple married and had a kid before the elders found that one party wasn't availble to married according to the orgs guildleines and forced them to get a divorce. They both left and are still divorced and one was openly living with their new lover without getting married first but they still are openly talk to relitaives on the inside like nothing happened as far as I know they are not dfed.

problemaddict

CAA,

You are going to have to change your name on this board I think. I admire your straightforward approach. It is a shame your parents slander you and then ask you for what they need. If I did what you did down here they would have announced me faster than you could say "mentally diseased". I am really interested in what the new employee and her husbandly owner think about this when it gets out. How could Jehovah had maneuvered this blessing, when you don't serve the congregation (head explodes).

Lets be honest here for a minute. You have a strong personality, and are a lone wolf in alot of ways. At least that is my perception. The brothers kind of asking you what you want to do, shows a small bit of intimidation. You probably intimidate them, and the more affluent brothers get away with a bit traditionally. Trust when my buisness was seriously poppin, I was treated like gold despite the fact I had a couple guys gunning for me and the handwriting was on the wall.

I mean it got on where one of these elders told me I had "pre-apostate thinking", after a 4 hour back room fest, and I slammed my fists on the table so hard out of anger the coward jumped back into the corner of the room. But nope......they didn't go there. Was it because I employed a bunch of JW's and was well liked and respected by others? Yep.

My fam is in, and friends that are good people are in, I need to continue the fade. But I understand your point of view. I am sorry about your family and their attitude.

snare&racket

Ask him to go for a beer and ask him outright, then enjoy the fishing.... He obviously respects you, probably wished he cold be so brave. Help him, he may be an elder, but in the real world that just means he is deeper down the rabbit hole of B.S....... Be a good human, you certainly seem to be one... Help him :) x

snare.

Captain Obvious

NO believing elder would ever offer that. Especially considering your attitude toward the cult. The second a Dub brain decides that someone doesn't go to enough meetings anymore or is leaving the org, the phobias kick in. There is absolutely no way he would invite you on a fishing trip with his buds from work if he were a believer. Actually most elders, no matter how liberal wouldn't go on a trip with 'worldly people.'

Tread lightly, don't want to set of his radar... But I say go on the trip! Let him open up to you. He has doubts, strong enough to offer this to you.

For all you know, he could be a member here.

Giordano

Something is up with the fishing trip especially if his work buddies are not JW's. Could be interesting.

I think I'd be inclined to go hard core with you father, mother and brother. Have your attorney send a letter to them threatening a law suite if they continue to slander you to past friends........ copy to the Elders.

You already did the fade....there's nothing left for you to say or do. Your done with it. Leave them all in a state of mild confusion tinged with fear.

whathappened

I think this elder invited you on this guys day out trip just to lower your defenses, get you to a neutral place so he can try to guilt you into coming back. I would make friends elsewhere, if I were you.

I quit cold turkey and everyone knows I am an apostate, nothing was done to me. I get no phone calls or visits and am shunned and ignored by 80% of the dubs that I run into. It has been almost three years of utter bliss. I will never give the elders the authority over me to df me or accept my letter of disassociation. This is a cult and no respect is deserved.

Invetigator74

I think I'd be inclined to go hard core with you father, mother and brother. Have your attorney send a letter to them threatening a law suite if they continue to slander you to past friends........ copy to the Elders.

Then again why not let things be what they be. Slandering, to who?? Other J-dubs? If it doesn't affect your immediate family or business, who cares! Unless your attorney is doing this request for free, why pursue it? I feel IMHO that you're handling this situation quite well. I'd experienced a similar situation with my parents,and once I made it clear to them that they would not put me on any more guilt trips about returning to the Borg, and yet ask me for money when times were tough for them, you either respect my decision or leave me alone. They're my parents and I love them ,but I'll be damn to be treated in such a way!

TMS

confusedandalone: THESE ARE HIS EXACT WORDS, "Ok ******... tell me what you want us to do?" I asked him what does he mean. He said, "Do you just want to be disfellowshipped or do you want us to just leave you alone and act like you have puilled of some great disappearing act?"

I'm a bit cynical. Elders know about fading. . . . When your elder friend says: "Do you want us to just leave you alone?", can he really sell that approach to the others on the committee(if formed)? He may simply be trying to see where you're coming from. Even if he's that real world tolerant, he will likely fold under pressure.

tms

Last night the one cool elder calls me