Here we are, the family and I, moving along in our slow journey to freedom. Although they are unaware, for the most part, our ship is slowly veering off course. Not enough to cause attention, not enough to trigger alarm bells, but just enough.
Since the summer DC, I have watched carefully, as the new releases remain on the coffee table, in plain sight, not touched, more of a decoration that anything. The kids watched the DVD, Ms. Harper and I have not, me more out of protest than anything. They didnt say too much about it, just said how much it was like a movie more than anything, and lacked realism.
In the last 6 months, work has conveniently left my schedule pretty jammed up, mostly by design. This has definitely affected our meeting attendance, mine in particular. I have calculated carefully, and I am at a stunning 30% ! Ms Harper isnt far behind, maybe at 50%. The kids go more, as the oldest can drive, and they have a good time. What is notable, is that no one seems to have noticed..... odd, given that not long ago I was an ELDER !
Field service has been a little experiment of mine. Since about March, I have pretty much quit going. Seems almost WRONG to say that, but it is what it is. I dont turn in any time at all, or very little if my FSOverseer bugs me about it, when he can catch me at the KH. I might then give him the obligatory handwritten "2". Last month I went out on the 1st Sat (still havent turned in a report for that month), when we all meet at the KH as a congregation..... wife and I sent the kids out with their friends, as they wanted to have fun, so we went out for coffee and donuts by ourselves, and pretty much nothing else! Good god, we are just not in the mood anymore. Its so repetitious and bland, we would rather have our toe nails pulled! Again, same story.... no one seems to notice or care.
At the KH, for field service today, the other elders are just soooooo busy doing their elder things... putting the rolly carts together that the Branch has sent to the congregation (3 rolly carts, mind you), and trying to find willing volunteers to drag them around our little city and park... I almost laughed! Jeez, they look like little literature sellers...oh, wait....... Again, Vic and I went on our own merry way, enjoyed scouting the "territory" for a new house to buy! (we are in the market). Pick up the kids at noon, and off we go! A marvelous day!
And speaking of friends, did I tell you that ours ALL seem to be shallow, fickle, and mostly just plain stupid. And VERY CONDITIONAL. No one seems to look past their own noses, unless of course you step out of line, and as long as you don't raise a stink, they dont seem to notice the ENOURMOUS, HUGE difference that MY life has taken in the last 12 months. Nothing. The elders havent said a word, even our "friends" cant seem to notice the forest for the trees. But they arent our friends anymore. I see them in the "clicks" that we are no longer a part of. Just because of a title. Makes me ill.
As a part of my little social experiment, I have purposefully invited several families over, at different times throughout the summer, for dinner, a bbq, or just beers on the back deck. Multiple times, I have maneuvered the situation so that I would be alone with 2 other elders, just to see what kind of conversation we would have, what kind of "encouragement" would be uttered, or even just questions about our family, our (Ms Harper and my) thinking and difficulties. My little experiment has yielded the expected results..... NOT ONE THING has EVER been asked about us, nor have I been offered ANY kind of encouragement or even been asked about my OBVIOUS change in meeting attendance and field service activity. NOTHING. Idiots.
Get this.... in the last 15 months, I have gone from giving Assembly parts, public talks twice a month, Service Meeting parts every week, just at the least.... to 1 bible reading and 2 5-minute talks from the Reasoning Book. A total of 13 minutes of stage time in 1 1/2 years. Havent been invited to offer a prayer for the congregation, not once in that time. Not that I mind, now, but come on..... did not ANYONE notice a change? These guys have their heads so far up their rear ends, and so focused on making sure their rolly carts are in good order, they don't see what is happening right in front of them.
I am saddened, not for myself, but for those poor publishers that need so desperately to be needed and wanted.
On the upside, I really am beginning to see the very faint stirrings of activity in the minds of my children. My daughter is a thinker. Her mind dwells on things for days at a time, and we have some really deep conversations. This one will awake! It will take a little time, but she is very analytical, and focused. She sees hypocrisy a mile away, and is starting to ask a few questions that will shortly take her down the rabbit hole.
Ms Harper and I are very happy where we are at, and with where we are going. Most times, we dont talk openly about the obvious path we are on, and I see why. Her mind can't handle it quite yet. We dance around the obvious, like lovers in the night air, swirling and bending to the music in the moonlight....Often, her mouth opens, and out spews the parroted jibberish that we are so used to, almost as if its on repeat..and then she just stops and looks at me... she knows what she just said, and she now knows how utterly silly it sounds. She wont admit it yet, but she knows.
We both know. And we dance.
Jack and Vic Harper
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