How can I stop hating the JW religion?

by marriedtoajw 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • marriedtoajw
    marriedtoajw

    Having this spiritual division between my wife and I over the years has been very draining in many ways. So much so that I find myself more and more hating everything having to do with the WTBTS especially when I just see Watchtower literature. I've kind of always felt that way but it's getting worst. It's irrational to see a Watchtower mag or book and feel anger, hate or I don't know what it is. I try to see the good things about the religion but I don't trust those feelings. For example, some of the best times I've ever had in my life have been shared with my wife and her JW family when they were love bombing me. But those feelings aren't real because nothing was really genuine. They were trying to get me in. Once they realized it wasn't going to happen, everything stopped. Living day to day with anger about how my life has turned out being married to a jw isn't healthy and does no one any good. Does anyone get what I'm saying???

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    I think we have all been there. I wasted thirty years in this religion, because I was lied to and manipulated. It's understandable to be mad about that . Every time they come knocking at my door, it pisses me off, especially since I have asked three times to be put on the do not call list. Your situation is different, in that you are still being impacted by your wife's choice of religion, probably on a daily basis. I am sure you realize it is not healthy mentally to get angry that often. You might want to think about why you are getting this angry. Are you maybe a little bit mad at your wife also, or her family? Have you communicated these feelings with her? If this is starting to affect your life, it might be time to consider counseling.

  • bigmac
    bigmac

    the hatred never stops. but you could have some fun with it. but it rather depends whether your wife loves her invisible gas-cloud god more than you.

    me==i'd have a bit of fun with it. try putting your foot down. dump every last scrap of watchtower rubbish in your house for starters. i can guarantee the mother of all rows--but--who knows where that can lead.

    remind me--just what have you got to lose?

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    I agree with everything LisaRose said, I still struggle with my anger. I am sure seeing their literature laying around probably brings up the negative feelings you have about it. Maybe if you ask her to keep it put away so you aren't constantly reminded of it that will help some. It is really sad how they change once the love bombing stops, it is as if they are a different person all together. Hang in there and I too agree if you can't resolve it then talking to a professional will help.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Im always angry since i completely woke up just a few months ago. When you realize that you went from thinking you're in the true religion and doing all the right things in God eyes to then finding out that this same religion is denying my the Messiah, it really pisses one off, especially when your family is still in!!!!! I think the best thing to do is use the anger to try to help free others from this Cult!!!!!

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    Does anyone get what I'm saying ???

    Sure and why not for its just like any other religious organization selling BS wrapped in ribbon of virtuous religiosity.

    I get the same feeling when I watch Jack Van Impe on TV every Sunday morning.

  • marriedtoajw
    marriedtoajw

    Yes guys, I agree indeed that the anger has come to a point where I need help and can't do this alone. I admit that but it's very difficult with my schedule. Talking to my wife about me needing help dealing with her religion is a tough conversation to have. I'm gonna do it though because I don't think I have any more strength to do this on my own anymore. My mental health is suffering, I can feel it...

  • Watchtower-Free
    Watchtower-Free

    Oh yes, your feelings a very understandable .

    Especially when you realize the fact she loves this man mad cult more than she loves you .

  • FadeToBlack
    FadeToBlack

    You could also try 'studying' the upcoming WT study article highlighting your questions and issues with what is said. Then leave it open on the kitchen table next to her Daily Text. Ask her to explain what it means. Occasionally you can put an older WT next to it that states something contradictory and then ask which is it. You don't need too go far back. You will find find lots of differences between WT study material and public version.

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Seeing a therapist really does help. We are seeing someone and it has helped tremendously with everything we have been through. It isn't good to be angry all the time and when you feel it is out of hand then it is time to seek help. Ours does evening appointments and teaches at a university during the day so maybe you can find someone who will work with your schedule. If you find a good one they are really orth it. Hang in there!

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