I've done some of these.....they work brilliantly! (courtesy of The Straight Jacket Site Online)
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra-dark, 17-inch paper
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write, 'for sensual massage'
3. Specify that your drive-thru order is 'to go'
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking with others
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions, 'to keep them tuned up'
6. Reply to everything someone says with 'thats what YOU think'
7. Practice making fax and modem noises
8. Highlight irrelevent information in scientific journals and copy them to your boss
9. Make beeping noises when you back up
10. Finish all your sentences with the words 'in accordance with prophecy'
11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears this one works, especially on annoying twats...believe me
12. Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' flip the ink cartridge across the room
13. Holler random numbers while someone is counting
14. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green and insist to others that you 'like it that way'
15. Staple papers in the middle of the page
16. Memorize the 'most annoying sound in the world' - from Dumb and Dumber
17. Honk and wave at strangers.....they'll only think yer nuts...I suggest you leave this one off
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register
19. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE
20. type only in lowercase
21. dont use any punctuation either
22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute entire streets
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times 'Do you hear that?', 'What', 'Nevermind, it's gone now' really shits off deep and meaningful conversationalists
24. As much as possible, skip rather than walk Hell this is fun...so why not
25. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, 'No, wait, I messed itup'. Then repeat
26. Ask people what gender they are
27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet you may neva be called on as speaker again....BONUS!
28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down This works, I shat myself one day.....
29. Sing along at the opera
30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme
31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about 'pychological profiles'
32. Tell your friends that you can't attend their party, five days prior to the event, because you're 'not in the mood' Man this is a good excuse....they're usually stumped and have no comeback but a wary glance your way....hehe
AND THE FINAL WAY TO ANNOY PEOPLE.....
33. Send this to everyone in yer email address book even if they sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this.
Edited cause: Man my spelling sucks
It was a joke! And you fell for it like the fascists you are! - Rick - The Young Ones