33 Ways to Annoy the Living Crap out of Anyone

by VioletAnai 11 Replies latest social humour

  • VioletAnai

    I've done some of these.....they work brilliantly! (courtesy of The Straight Jacket Site Online)

    1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra-dark, 17-inch paper

    2. In the memo field of all your checks, write, 'for sensual massage'

    3. Specify that your drive-thru order is 'to go'

    4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking with others

    5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions, 'to keep them tuned up'

    6. Reply to everything someone says with 'thats what YOU think'

    7. Practice making fax and modem noises

    8. Highlight irrelevent information in scientific journals and copy them to your boss

    9. Make beeping noises when you back up

    10. Finish all your sentences with the words 'in accordance with prophecy'

    11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears this one works, especially on annoying twats...believe me

    12. Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' flip the ink cartridge across the room

    13. Holler random numbers while someone is counting

    14. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green and insist to others that you 'like it that way'

    15. Staple papers in the middle of the page

    16. Memorize the 'most annoying sound in the world' - from Dumb and Dumber

    17. Honk and wave at strangers.....they'll only think yer nuts...I suggest you leave this one off

    18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register


    20. type only in lowercase

    21. dont use any punctuation either

    22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute entire streets

    23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times 'Do you hear that?', 'What', 'Nevermind, it's gone now' really shits off deep and meaningful conversationalists

    24. As much as possible, skip rather than walk Hell this is fun...so why not

    25. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, 'No, wait, I messed itup'. Then repeat

    26. Ask people what gender they are

    27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet you may neva be called on as speaker again....BONUS!

    28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down This works, I shat myself one day.....

    29. Sing along at the opera

    30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme

    31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about 'pychological profiles'

    32. Tell your friends that you can't attend their party, five days prior to the event, because you're 'not in the mood' Man this is a good excuse....they're usually stumped and have no comeback but a wary glance your way....hehe


    33. Send this to everyone in yer email address book even if they sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this.

    Edited cause: Man my spelling sucks

    It was a joke! And you fell for it like the fascists you are! - Rick - The Young Ones

  • Doc_jedd

    I find this post highly annoying!.................Jedd


    I am going to post some really annoying posts now that I now JEDD is easily annoyed....((((((HUGS)))))

  • PopeOfEruke


    you forgot number 34:

    34) The WHINING noise Violet makes because she can't post a jpeg properly.

    Yours in (hic) spirit,


  • VioletAnai

    Oh yeah.....

    Thanx Popee!

    It was a joke! And you fell for it like the fascists you are! - Rick - The Young Ones

  • waiting

    34. Posters who post jokes in the Friends forum instead of Humor/joke forum.

    And I'm just pickin'. Enjoyed the thread.

    Calvin: I'm making a list of 101 things that irritate me.
    Hobbs: How about adding "overly sensitive people?"
    Calvin: That's a good one!
    Calvin: Heyyyyyyyyyy.......


  • Simon

    forum hosts who don't move topics to the right area in a timely manner ...

  • Satanus

    It's ok, violet, they'll soon have room for you:)



    LMAO -- good thing I wear depends !!! QUEENIE

  • Solace


    Cant wait to try some of these at work.

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