Suggestions Please

by ConnieLynn 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Frenchy

    Go see your mother. If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. From what you say your mother is in no position to discuss whether or not she is scripturally free to have a transfusion. The rest of the JW family will fight you tooth and nail on this and it will only end in great frustration for you.

    Sad as it is, we must accept some situations for what they are. It takes great character to humbly bow our heads and remain silent when our soul boils with anger and frustration. It's good to be indignant at injustices but wisdom tells us when speaking out will help and when it will not.

  • siegswife

    (((ConnieLynn))) I'm so sorry this is happening. I wish I knew what you could do to make this all work out for the best.

    I don't think that I could stay away if it was my mother, but I've never had to deal with mine making the sort of extreme choices that yours is. I agree that her mental state probably isn't the best right now, so perhaps she would have a change of heart once she realizes just how much you do care about her.

    I don't know.

    Those bastards have harmed and continue to harm so many people and their families it makes me physically sick. I hope you find the strength to deal with this horrible situation.



    Hello and I'm sorry you are going this right now.

    You asked if anyone else has been through something like this.....YES! we have...

    My husband and I have been DF'd for four years for 'just disagreeing'. Very close family. Both sides of us were witnesses. My husband was in business with his dad and brother who decided they no longer wanted to work with him, so forced him to sell out his share of the business.

    Well my husbands father was having a heart attack at work one day and walked himself into the hospital. They said he was lucky to be alive.
    To make it short....His dad had to go in for immediate bypass open heart surgery.
    My husband called the family and offered his services, to work, or help in ANY way.
    They kindly told him they did not need him for anything and that his father told him NOT to come to the hospital to even see him as it would make too many people (witnesses) around him uncomfortable.

    Yes that hurt immensely! We are now past that. It did take time and comfort from Jah. We are now faced with in the VERY near future (we heard through the grapevine) noone in the family has called us.....that his father has to go back in and have a pacemaker put in. His health is failing. Not a soul in the fam has called us other than a DF'd aunt who found out through a worldly aunt.

    So, yes these are challenges we face as with ALL of you out there from time to time.

    We will survive as we are blessed to have been freed fromt hat org and to understand the "real truth" our lord and savior. JOHN 14:6

    Our thoughts and prayer are with you
    Continue to let love conqueor despite how "they" conduct themselves.

    JUST A MOM (Kim)

  • Princess

    I agree with Frenchy. You have to do what you can live with for the rest of your life. Maybe she felt she had to tell you to stay away since you are df'd, but what mother wouldn't want to see her daughter when she is in such poor health?

    I'd go, you do what you can live with.

    So sorry,

  • Dawn


    A couple years back my father had tripple by-pass surgery and was refusing blood (he was an elder). Although I was no longer a JW and did not believe in the blood issue, I did feel that he was an adult and had a right to make his own decisions based on his belief/faith.

    The doctors came in during his surgery to say things were going bad and wanted to give him blood - they wanted me to make my mom sign the papers. Ok everyone - throw tomatoes if you must - but I wouldn't do it. I told her that he was 60+ years old and had made his wishes clear - we should support them even if we don't agree.

    He made it through the surgery, but passed away a few months ago. He was greatful that I supported his wishes, and I feel good that we had some good times before he was gone.

    Connie - here's my advice - get some tickets asap, go see your mom before it's too late. You don't have to agree with her medical decisions to support her and love her.

  • Mulan

    Dawn, I'm with you. Totally agree. It's their life, their decision.

    Marilyn (aka Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

  • new boy
    new boy

    Dear ConnieLynn

    There is only one Question we can ask ourselfs in this situation, or any other "What would love do now?"

    Listen to your heart.

  • Elsewhere

    Your mother is on her death bed and your family is telling you to stay away?!?!

    If I were in the same situation and had the means... I would be on the next flight out.

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • elbobbo

    Go. You're not a JW anymore (remember? they kicked you out) so you don't have to play by their rules about being disfellowshipped. If it makes someone else uncomfortable that's their problem, not yours.
    As for the blood issue, I'd say do all you can to have some put in her. Look at it this way, she may get pissed off at you but at least she'll be alive and able to get pissed off at you. So you went against the WTBTS's stance on blood? What's the worst that will happen, you'll get killed when their small and petty version of god kills everyone off? Since you're DF'd that'd happen anyways. Remember, she's not in sound mind and I'm guessing courts don't particularly care for cults that tell their members to refuse a medical procedure that is needed to save their life. Sure, your siblings will get pissed off at you but hey, since you're being shunned already why not give them a decent reason for it?
    Sorry if I'm being overly harsh here but in times like this I just can't see any good of hiding away or cowering from this stupid cult. They're the crazy ones so they should be the ones that have to hide away from you.

  • AuntieJane

    I had this same surgery last fall. The dr. removed 18 inches of colon and a cancerous tumor, which, thank GOD, had not spread. I lost no blood, but I can tell you this: A parent wants her children near at times like this. Your Mom is going through a frightening experience. Give her your love, be there with her.

    It is not a time to argue the JW blood doctrine. Your family has already called in the "troups"; you will be outnumbered and it will just add stress to your mom's health.

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