I'm not D/f or D/a and my dad wont even talk to me

by LyinEyes 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • musicnonstop
    musicnonstop

    I can definitely relate here... I wasn't DF/DA (couldn't be, as I was never 'dunked' - a small mercy), but my views of the WTS, when they were eventually known (after doing my best to keep them hidden, knowing the grief it would cause), led to my being shunned by my three sibs (my JW mother too, initially, though thankfully she came to her senses; the parental bond can overcome a lot, even religious brainwashing ).

    It's a situation that continues today, a couple of years down the line, and I can only echo what others have said; as hard as it most definitely is (I still often vacillate between feelings of anger and grief for lost relationships from time to time), the best thing you can do for your own wellbeing is to emotionally distance yourself from the situation and concentrate on working towards building a post-WT life for yourself, while still 'keeping the door open' for your father, should he have a change of heart in the future (knowing the power of the WT, though, I wouldn't pin my hopes on it).

    Very best wishes to you ((((((LyinEyes))))))

    "They never told me what was the truth - just a young man losing his youth..."
    - 'Bear Cage', The Stranglers

  • Hyghlandyr
    Hyghlandyr

    Music mentioned vacillating between feelings of grief and anger.

    I am entirely apathetic. My father and mother are not different than anyone else to me. Like some person in France I have never met. Nothing personal to people in france, but when they die I am not crying at their funerals. I don't know them.

    My father probably wishes I was angry at him, or hurt, then I would have feelings for him. I have no feelings at all.

  • bigfloppydog
    bigfloppydog

    So sorry to hear this Lyineyes, same has happened to me only it is my mother and sister who shun me. I have come to the conclusion they are the ones who miss out. Not only in having my companionship, but the grandchildren they never see, and niece and nephew. They make the choice, so they live with that. I try to live my life the best I can. Lots of love to you, cause I still know it hurts hard and deep. Take care.

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