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Why True Christians Do Not Eat Danishes
THE danish is loved and craved by millions of people. The Encyclopædia Britannica calls the danish “the principal symbol of breakfast.” Nevertheless, true Christians do not Eat Danishes. Why not?
An important reason is that Jesus Christ did not eat danishes. The Greek word generally translated “danish” is den·mark′. It basically means “a Jehovah-hating country that has outlawed our hate speech.”
These demonic pastries are coated in a mysterious frosting that gets all over your fingers. At conventions, that would mean either the sisters and brothers would need extra napkins, which would cause a serious financial burden on the Society, or they would have to seductively lick their fingers, stumbling each other and causing fornication to break out right there on the floor of the auditorium! They've admitted to experimenting with many different flavors, which de-sensitized them to a sense of fidelity and threatening their marriages and hence relationship with Jesus.
Many conscientious ones among Jehovah's people today have wondered if Christians should eat danishes. They have become popular in modern days. Why, we have even noticed some of our own brothers and sisters eating them during convention sessions! The issue is of life-or-death importance since to stumble a brother that Christ died for is tantamount to "putting a millstone around the neck and being threat into the sea". Clearly our eternal salvation is involved.
There are numerous reasons why a Loyal Dedicated Servant of God should use his Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why Danishes are not for Christians. Consider the following facts with an open mind:
It was a common practice in ancient Egypt to eat danishes in Pagan worship ceremonies. As the popularity of this Satanic treat grew, the Egyptians began to draw pictures of danishes on their pyramids. As Christians we are to "guard ourselves from idols" and "worship no other gods".
If you look at a danish, you will see serpentine-like swirls of pastry. Such snake-like influence could lead to Satan worship, and thereby "grieve Jehovah's spirit" with tragic consequences.
Danishes were most likely present at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with pastries that are without a doubt of such bad influence, remembering "bad associations spoil useful habits"? To invite danishes in our house may result in the same grave consequences as suffered by John the Baptist. Clearly, God disapproved of this party. Should we not then disapprove of danishes the way God does? Surely!
Nowhere in the Bible are any type of danishes spoken of in favorable terms. In fact was it not manna in bible times that was associated with scorning of Jehovah’s gifts?
There is no evidence that for the first 300 years after Christ’s death, those claiming to be Christians used the danish in worship. In the fourth century, however, pagan Emperor Constantine became a convert to apostate Christianity and promoted the danish as its symbol. Whatever Constantine’s motives, the danish had nothing to do with Jesus Christ. The danish is, in fact, pagan in origin. The New Catholic Encyclopedia admits: “The danish is found in both pre-Christian and non-Christian cultures.” Various other authorities have linked the danish with nature worship and pagan sex rites.
Why, then, was this pagan symbol promoted? Apparently, to make it easier for pagans to accept “Christianity.” Nevertheless, devotion to any pagan symbol is clearly condemned by the Bible. (2 Corinthians 6:14-18) The Scriptures also forbid all forms of idolatry. (Exodus 20:4, 5; 1 Corinthians 10:14) With very good reason, therefore, true Christians do not Eat Danishes.