More on my Mom and the elders

by Mulan 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • LoneWolf

    Mulan, I too am disgusted by this high-handed conduct. You did well, but I must add my voice to Had Enough's:

    Mulan, you mentioned in another thread that the one you called in Patterson said to keep him informed. Why not do just that and inform him of this latest unchrist-like retort from that elder to your mom. Perhaps some "elder cleanup" action from the "higher-ups" may come of this.
    The Society has a great deal to answer for, yes, but we must also be fair and let them know what is happening. Otherwise they have no chance to deal with it.

    Plus it raises the question as to how many others will be hurt by this man's attitude if he is not corrected.

    On a further thought: I've been thinking for some time now of organizing a network of witnesses and ex-witnesses to care for things like this if the Society itself falls down on the job. We could pattern it after what the Society did with officials and even nations when they were being persecuted.

    A simplified letter campaign (emails and telephone calls would be all right too) to the offending individuals should have a rather dramatic effect, especially if details of (what they thought were) their private conversations or committee meetings were referred to. Copies could be sent to the local newspapers and to the Society itself. Just the suggestion of such a thing would scare the living bejabbers out of most elders.

    In this case it wouldn't even be necessary to know the name of the elder. The letters could simply be addressed to the entire body of elders with the opening words to the effect of "It has come to my attention that . . ." There is no need to mention how it came to our attention.

    The network would be very simple. Anyone interested (say 5 to 10 people) could send me their email address. Should something like this come up, I would send them the details. They could respond or not, according to their time and desire. In turn, they could have their own group of 5 to 10, who in turn . . . you get the picture. All would be autonomous, and these calls to action could be sent up or down.

    The more people who participated, the more clout the letters would have, as well as the more eyes and ears we would have in the congregations to make sure they are walking the straight and narrow.

    As to the letters themselves: They should be brief but blunt, containing enough information to let them know that we are aware of what's going on, but letting them wonder how much more we know. They could be signed or not. An anonymous letter from California or Austrailia to an elder in New York (or anywhere else) making reference to something he thought was private will have considerable impact.

    The letter should be free of profanity, as such will weaken that impact. Depending on each individual, we could personalize them if we desire: "I was/am an elder/pioneer/Bethel worker/witness/lawyer/etc. of XX years experience and . . ." We could even draw up our own form letters and just leave spaces for the address and a few pertanent details that could be filled in on a moment's notice and fired off. If done on the computer, all it would take is a few seconds of typing, hit "print", and it's ready to go.

    As to repercussions, how? How are they going to prove that any one individual leaked this information and address? Plus, they're going to feel under the gun. He will feel that there are ??? number of people watching his every move and just waiting for him to make a false one. It's that uncertainty that we want to instill in such individuals.

    If doing such things anonymously bothers one, just keep in mind that this is exactly what the Society does to us. If I remember right, Mulan, didn't you say that the individual you called refused to give his name?

    I don't know about you, but I feel that it is high time that these high-handed fools be made to feel the same feelings of fear, frustration, and helplessness that they have so freely made us feel. This is one way to do that, as well as keep them in line.

    A beautiful thing about this is that anyone; man, woman, or child, could have a part in this without fear of repercussion as long as they didn't give themselves away. It will give us an opportunity to actually do something about these things instead of just hunkering down helplessly and enduring while they run roughshod over us.

    Looking at it in the bigger picture, this would also tend to drive a wedge between the elders and the GB.

    In your case, Mulan, I would say that to take such a step right now would probably be a little premature. Let the Society have a chance first. If that doesn't work, then post their address here on the board, or if that is too open for you, send it to me and I'll take it from there.

    Anyone interested in joining such an effort? Or perhaps have suggestions that would increase its effectiveness? I have a couple of situations that are ready for such a thing right now. One of them is an elder's son who molested his own daughter. His wife is divorcing him and he is suing her. He's disfellowshipped, but his family, who is still in, is backing him. You gals who have been molested in the past ought to have a field day with this one.


  • Mulan

    Lone Wolf, that sounds like a plan to me.

    I guess I should have said that before Mom came to live here, she had her own apartment, then she fell, and was in the hospital, a rehab center, and then a group home. Finally she moved here, all within the local congregation's territory. Lots of the members of the cong. live walking distance from me. Before she came here, she had daily visitors. There were regular visits by pioneers, and others out in service. She is feeling a real void now, because those she thought were her friends are not coming over and if they call, it's to disapprove of her somehow.

    I think some of this issue, now, is because they had a talk on the service meeting about not counting your time if you visit sick and elderly people.

    Marilyn (aka Mulan)
    "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers

  • Elsewhere
    he hits her with a "violation of protocol"

    (Sound of an elder swallowing a camel.)

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • Imbue

    I would call the CO and tell him what this elder said to your frail ninety year old devout JW mother. How can they call themselves ministers, this really makes me sick. They are worse than some priests. They criticize how priests aren’t compassionate. At least the Catholic priests visit the elderly in nursing homes. Of course donations are expected by the priests. But, as JW they aren’t supposed to care about receiving anything back. All they care about is pushing those mags and making new disciples. The old ones that can’t go out in service are forgotten.

    Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

  • willy_think
    I think some of this issue, now, is because they had a talk on the service meeting about not counting your time if you visit sick and elderly people.

    so you can't USE visits to "count your time." hummmmm,
    Your moms visitors were USING HER as a more pleasant way to "count time" but now they can't USE HER to "count time", she is USELESS to them. visiting her doesn't "count" what would be the USE in visiting the sick and elderly, it's not like Christians "count" ministering to the sick and elderly among the things Jesus expects of us.

    Your Mom at the end of her life, has your love and loyalty, it is enough.

    The Great and Powerful Oz:

    pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

Share this