Who really is to blame for the marriage breakdowns?

by Quarterback 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ucantnome

    growing up a witness always ruled out divorce for me.

  • bats in the belfry
    bats in the belfry

    snare&racket >>>

    In 2013 marriage is a legal right and a means to publicly announce our commitment along with legal benefits, but that aside its about two people living together.

    Isn't that also exactly what Adam and Eve supposedly did before God came along and gave them a marriage certificate?

  • problemaddict

    Marriage isn't easy even when you really love the person, have gotten to know them, and are compatable physically.

    Now lets take out those factors and throw in the getting married during the years you probably should be in college or figuring life out and making mistakes......and there you have it.

    This talk about the 50's is really nothing. The "mad men"era was ripe with spousal abuse, workplace harrasment, and appearances being more important than the rights of an individual woman.

    The top contributors to divorce in the organization I would say are as follows.

    1) Money issues and the inability to handle the stress that comes with. Maybe even money issues early on in the marriage. Throw in here the meetings, service, the inevitable need to "reach out" and either attain or maintain that coveted position for the man......well that is a mess.

    2) Physical awkwardness or incompatability. Yep its the men AND WOMEN who when they first put their toe in the pool are more concerned about what NOT to do, than just getting it on and seeing what happens. Taking themselves too seriously.

    3) Divergent attitutes toward the organization, wether out there, or somewhat hidden. Remember that alot of people are JW's for the social structure and community. They marry a real believer.....and watch out.

    Also, just a side note on the gay marriage thing. It is 100% true that the most divorcedingest (yeah I said it), group in the world is gay males. Then come hetero couples. Then last on the list, commited lesbian couples. See a pattern? Males don't like to be tied down.......gay or not.

  • blondie

    What did Adam and Eve do....masturbated?

    So how long was Eve on earth before she met Adam...according to the bible they met right after her creation and were married on the spot. Interestingly to me it shows she was called Woman to start and not called Eve until after they sinned. How long were they together then and why no children until after their sin???

    (Genesis 2:20-23) . . .but for man there was found no helper as a complement of him. 21 Hence Jehovah God had a deep sleep fall upon the man and, while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. 22 And Jehovah God proceeded to build the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man. 23 Then the man said: “This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, Because from man this one was taken.”

    24 That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh. 25 And both of them continued to be naked, the man and his wife, and yet they did not become ashamed.

    (Genesis 3:20, 21) 20 After this Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she had to become the mother of everyone living. 21 And Jehovah God proceeded to make long garments of skin for Adam and for his wife and to clothe them.

  • sammielee24

    What gets me is why people get sad or melancholic at the idea of a broken marriage.... It was obviously NOT a happy marriage, they were obviously not happy together,


    I would think that it is because divorce is much like death - you can not love someone but can easily find yourself saddened at their death. Any person married who divorces might feel sad at losing friendships, losing extended family that they grew to love, perhaps losing shared memories and years of your life and your personal history - those are major loss issues for a lot of people. You may move on but the person you move on with might not have known you at 18 or 25 - they might not have gone to that first concert with you etc. History could be at the basis for a lot of it and a sense of loss of identity that comes with marriage. sammieswife

  • EmptyInside

    The ones I know, divorced because one liked someone in the congregation a bit better than their wife or husband. And most of the them were middle-aged,and married for 20 years. It's not just the young people.

    But,also as soon as the elders know someone is dating,they pressure them to get married right away. This leaves them little time to truly get to know one another. It's another area where the congregation should butt out. I know some,that wisely kept their dating someone private.

  • SafeAtHome

    MY first mariage broke up because we were way too young, I was 21, he was 19. And we got baptized so we could get married in the Kingom Hall. What alternative did we have back then? We should have both been in college planning for a real future, but of course in 1972 we wanted to be able to experience a few years of being an adult before 1975. That marriage lasted 12 years before he decided he was too young to get married and wanted to experience freedom. He has recently remarried his 3rd exwife while my 2nd marriage is going on 28 years. Not sure if he has found his freedom, but I sure found mine. With the divorce came a ticket out of the Borg. Really, Witness kids get married way too young. I think more than half of the young couples who were married around the same time are no longer together.

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