Grammy's memorial service...

by diana netherton 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton

    Well, I guess I can't be shocked but it's been a while since I've been to a JW service. I honestly felt like I was sitting through an Amway sales pitch with my grandmother's name inserted every once in a while. It's not personal at all. Most of the time spent was talking about their religion. But it's what my grandmother wanted, I guess. I am just sorry that no one got to stand up and relate personal stories about a wonderful woman who touched so many lives. Coming from an awkward speaker had little effect. It's shameful to do what they do. They know there's a "captive" audience and yet they just can't help themselves.

    I held my wisdom wanga (a spiritual doll that grants you wisdom and strength) throughout and it calmed me down. And I had the support of my best friend in the world, Lisa; a true sister to me and my little sister.

    I am glad it's finally over but I don't think I ever want to step foot in another KH ever. It is so depressing. It's like a ghastly decorated underground bunker.

  • Quandry

    Glad you got through it.

    It is kinda like, Blah blah blah blah blah (gramma) felt this was too, blah blah blah (gramma) believed this also...blah blah blah.

    Yes, an infomercial about the WTS but very little substance about gramma.

  • BluesBrother

    Yes, it is all from a standard outline - the purpose of which is to interest and impress the worldly relatives. (I have never heard of one studying as a consequence) The speaker can count his time since he is addressing a non Witness audience.

    I am glad it is over for you Diana.

  • man in black
    man in black

    I'm sorry that you had to deal with all of the infomercial stuff during your Granny's funeral talk.

    Last Saturday I attended the Catholic funeral for the mother of an old grade school friend, and I was just floored by the difference.

    The priest metioned her by name throughout the service, and brought up examples of good things he saw her do, and how it affected people in the parish.

    Then people were invited to come up and say something about the departed.

    Her one and only grandson got up and played an old Italian song on his Guitar, ( it was her favorite song).

    It was just so comforting to see how a persons life was actually celebrated, instead of the program being something used to talk about a certain religion.

    I hope you feel better.

  • innerpeace

    Sorry about your grammy. You know it must be bad when even witnesses notice it and say they are going to write their own funeral talk. That's what happened recently after a memorial talk for a young witness. Some people noticed how impersonal it was. One thing they have missing from the witness funerals are music. I've been to a few non witness ones where their favorite music was played and it made it a lot more personal.

  • SafeAtHome

    I have been out since 1985. I went to a few of the old timers funerals as the years went on, and to some who were my parents age that I knew growing up in the Kingdom Hall. I vowed several years back I was NEVER going to another JW Infomercial funeral. They are cold and impersonal and give no comfort whatsoever. When my dad died in 2004, an elder who had met him only a few times gave the "talk". This was arranged by my brother who is still in. My sister is a journalist by profession, she writes beautiful and moving human interest stories. (She also has been out a long time and had the courage to go to college to pursue a career.) Well, she wrote a wonderful tribute to our dad, going back over the years with my mom (they were married for 62 years), us kids growing up, grandchildren, his favorite things, etc. It was about a page long. She requested that her son, my dads firstborn grandchild (now a grown man of 40), read it, maybe before the service, or even afterwards after the prayer was said. ABSOLUTELY NOT! was the response from that elder. My sister and I were so furious and my brother would not speak up. We just simmered and let it go, not wanting to upset the boat with my brother.

    You have my sympathy Diana, on the loss of your Grammy. There are so many of us out here who can empathize with what you went through.

  • LongHairGal


    Sorry about your Grammy.

    JW wakes and funerals are nothing more than infomercials. Your description of the hall being like a "ghastly decorated underground bunker" is very apt.

    What makes it all the more horrible is your sensing of the cold, lack of love and the phoniness, like the plastic flowers. Because you haven't been there in such a long time, the feeling is more acute.

  • Honesty

    I am sorry that you lost your Grammy.

    And I totally agree with your description of kingdom halls...

    " ghastly decorated underground bunker"

    I have only seen one that didn't meet that description.

    It was in a 3rd world country far, far away from any Bethel.

  • talesin


    The important thing is, she knew you loved her... and that's all that matters. I applaud your courage and strength for attending.

    Keep on keepin' on, sistah!

    (an old, american expression, for solidarity in the race wars)

    much love to you.



  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Diana, I am glad you had your friend Lisa with you to share the day with and give you comfort. I like what Man In Black said. Sounds like he attended a thoughtful, tasteful and loving memorial.

    JW funeral's are sterile, cold and impersonal. It has been this way for all the ones I have been to.

    Just Lois

Share this