The BRAIN is awakening! Don't ignore it!

by Tech49 22 Replies latest jw experiences

Tech49

Something happened recently, and I thought I would share a few comments. First, lets set the stage....
If anyone is familiar with current events in the Pacific Northwest, you may have heard of the death of a beautiful young lady, Whitney Heichel, a short while ago. In short, Whitney was a young sister that was kidnapped and killed by a "congregation" friend. If you havent heard of it, a quick search of her name will bring you up to speed.
These events and the subsequent outpouring of love to her family from the entire world have been wonderful, and heart-wrenching. Our hearts go out to her and her family and her husband.
Just recently, her mom was interviewed briefly at the District Convention in Portland.
To emphasize, I am in no way belittling or finding fault with the family, or the mom, in any way whatsoever.
Listen to her comments, and then we can continue (copy/paste this link, maybe someone can make it live): www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vDVfgdn-CA
Again, I have the utmost sympathy and respect for the family and for the situation at hand, and don't mean to demean them in any way.
My wife, Victoria, heard this for the first time the other nite, and asked me to listen to it. I did, but kept my comments to myself, recognizing a chance to help her to reason on something (I want her to start thinking about the reality that she has ignored as long as I have). I asked her what she thought (this was in light of what we had discussed about other DC experience being over-dramatized or just plain made-up, see my other post).
Jack: so... what do you think?
Vic: um.......hmmm...
Jack: what do you mean by that?
Vic: I'm not sure............ hmmmmmm....
Now at this point, I could tell she didnt want to discuss it. Her mind was in a state of confusion. So I dropped it until later, as we were getting ready for bed, kids were out of the room...
Jack: so, what did you think of that interview?
Vic: something just wasn't right....
Jack: what do you mean?
Vic: it sounded......odd.....(her brain was fighting it)........like.........I am not sure.....
Jack: you mean....(let me help out, I will state the obvious)....... dramatized?
Vic: exactly! Like it was........
Jack: made up?
Vic: well, yes! Unrealistic. It just didnt feel right. Like it was scripted. But that can't be right, could it? Would they "make up", or dramatize that experience on purpose? To take advantage of people's emotions?
Jack: Well, I dont know the situation, but what does your gut tell you?
**** Here's where the conversation took a wild turn! Here is an example of Cognitive Dissonance in full effect!****
Vic: I know what I hear, I can tell it just isn't real! But the brothers would never do that would they? I just can't think that they would! That's not honest! I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't want to think that way!
Jack: Dear Vic, learn to listen to what your brain and heart is telling you, don't ignore it.
....end of conversation...
Here's my point to this little exercise. Your brain is trained, your conscience is formed, and your heart is actively telling you what is right and what is true. You just choose to ignore it. Your mind is fighting to wake up. Listen to it.
Your comments are welcome, but please do not disparage this sister or her family in any way. She too is captive of a concept. It's not her fault. I ask only that you comment on the process involved.
Jack Harper, Tech49
Thoughtless

Wow. I am actually hit by this a bit. I don't pay attention to experiences anymore though. I have come to know personally that they are BS. Honestly, I don't think there is a much better word to describe a convention than a "circlejerk". Sexually explicit? Yes. But accurate. It's disgusting.
Mum

It is always so sad to see a person in denial rather than facing their problem and overcoming it.
Oubliette

When I was waking up to TTATT I tried talking to my now ex-wife about one particular issue I had (I think it was the UN/NGO situation). She literally put her hands over her ears and said, "I don't want to hear it!" and hurried out of the room.
It finally got to the point that I realized if we were going to stay married we were going to have a very superficial relationship. This is exactly what happened. We grew further and further apart although we remained married for several more years. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and ended the marriage.
In retrospect, I wish I'd have known about this forum. Maybe I could have handled things differently and helped her to wake up as well as our children.
Very few people leave this religion with their families intact; those the do are few and far between. It can be done, but it isn't easy. It usually requires a lot of patience on the part of the one that wakes-up first.
My best wishes to you.
Oubliette

Hey, Jack.
I just listened to the interview on the video you posted. That family is certainly going through a lot, trying to cope with an unimaginable tragedy.
That being said, I am a little confused by the point of your OP. Do you think Whitney's mom doesn't really believe everything she said?
If she is acting, then she is acting exactly how she has been trained to behave according to her beliefs. Under the circumstances she wouldn't take much coaching.
The only script she would need is the whole web of JW beliefs couched in the "theocratic language" of JW-speak.
I have come to believe that many, perhaps even most, JWs have doubts. Yet because of the sophisticated psychological manipulation implicit in WT "Theology," the average Witness thinks they are the only one with doubts. They continue to spout the party-line of ideology hoping desperately that one day their faith will be complete and free of doubts. Also, we must not discount the ubiquitous JW practice of doing things for appearances sake.
Particularly when under stress, humans tend to cling to that which is familiar even when to do so is irrational and maybe even unsafe. The emotional pain and stress that this woman must have undergone and continues to deal with is no doubt overwhelming. What else can she do but seek solace in that which she knows. It is her only hope and she can't give it up now. Every thought she has and every action she takes will only tend to reinforce that which she already believed and in so doing make those beliefs more real to her despite any evidence to the contrary.
At this point in her life, I suspect any and everything that tends to disconfirm her beliefs will be rejected outright without the slightest consideration.
I believe we heard the testimony of a woman that desperately believes everything she said in that interview. She believes it, she hopes it. It is all she has. If she were to give that up she will have nothing (or so she fears).
The "brother" interviewing her was only to happy to exploit her incredible misfortune to reinforce the cult's mindset on those in attendance with this gratuitiously emotional experience. To play with people's emotions that way just to advance your own agenda is so wrong on many levels. He should be ashamed of himself, but I'm sure he is not. It's okay, I'm ashamed of him.
sd-7

It finally got to the point that I realized if we were going to stay married we were going to have a very superficial relationship. This is exactly what happened. We grew further and further apart although we remained married for several more years. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and ended the marriage.
Well, I hope you're not actually me from the future. But this definitely sounds like a possible future for me, though I suppose I had a chance at ending it and just couldn't keep my finger on the button. It's not easy to be close with a person with the belief systems being so opposed to each other. It does often feel like you're pretending all the time. From jokes and personal opinions on the news or what you read, all of it becomes impossible to be open about.
It can be really hard to feel unable to tell your spouse everything. It actually reminds me of a discussion my wife and I were having a couple of days ago, about how Hitler was able to do what he did. What was it that made these folks turn off their conscience? I asked her. I was telling her about that movie 'The Wave' where the teacher does a social experiment on dictatorship. It got to a point where she didn't want to talk about it. I wondered if cognitive dissonance was at play there, too. In this case, for once, I was careful to avoid involving religion in any way, but the point was there in a subtle way. (Sneaky wolf-like kidnapper apostate that I am, I've got to be subtle! )
But it's interesting to see people telling stories like this. How come I crashed and burned so badly? Oh, right. Kurtbethel's sage advice to me nearly 4 years ago was foolishly ignored:
One important bit of advice. Stay away from those melodramatic women or those whose life is a train wreck. It will bring you way down.
...Wow, was he ever right...
--sd-7
SophieG

I listened to the audio it sounds a bit over dramatized and at points it sounds like she is reading …and almost as if she’s trying to convince herself…there is an over dramatization of when she will see Whitney in “Paradise” that is almost heartbreaking to hear.
However what struck me is that she sounds very distraught, almost on the verge of a breakdown. That is what makes me sad…and angry because she is still grieving and she had to have been approached to do this part. It’s definitely designed to pull on the heart strings of those who are there. She is being used.
I see why Vic felt that way. If I was still “in” I would have been bawling my eyes out. But being awake it makes me angry and you can see it for what it is.
Keep up the good work Jack!
ABibleStudent

Hi Jack Harper/Tech49, It sounds like you are doing a good job of helping your wife to think for herself. I am glad that you did not push your wife too far - baby steps in helping her to critically think for herself.
What are you doing to help your kids to think for themselves? Helping your kids could be easier than your wife and would also reap the benefit of your kids helping your wife to think for herself.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
Oubliette

Let's not forget that THE VERY NEXT DAY (July 8th, 2013) all of Whitney's family was in court confronting the killer during the sentencing phase of his trial. They no doubt were anticipating that during the DC part the day before on July 7th, 2013!
Holt admits killing Heichel, sentenced to life
By KOIN 6 News staff
Updated: Monday, July 8, 2013, 10:38 pm
Published: Monday, July 8, 2013, 11:46 am
darth frosty

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The BRAIN is awakening! Don't ignore it!

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