Dear heart, I understand what you feel and how you think. I just think that sometimes it is better to accept life on life's terms and move on even when we love those who we may never see again. Acceptance is a big word, and yes, it is hard sometimes to reach acceptance, but I do believe it brings a certain degree of peace.
Joel, there are some things you have not experienced yet, that I have. My mother and father are dead. My wife's father and mother are dead as well as one of her younger sisters. My younger cousin is dead, and I missed his funeral because his brother could not reach me on the phone because it was out of order. Much shit does come down on us in life, and the longer you live, the more shit there is that accumulates. All we can do is try to deal with it as best we can.
Let me tell you sometime, of the story of my grandfather whose father was killed by the KKK because he hired black people to work on his farm. My grandfather who had a mentally ill brother and sister, and a mentally ill daughter, who was my mother.