I must be missing something...I would feel very guilty about kissing another woman. Is the lack of dignity the "main point" i'm missing here?
Agnostic Apostate Morals Kick In
Is the lack of dignity the "main point" i'm missing here?
Gee, I'm about to be unpopular (again). I have had a few life experiences myself and I can say that I agree with Spender on this one. Facing temptation is normal but to imply that those things happened "around you" isn't realistic. Those things happened because of you. You were part of the situtuation and you allowed things to develop to the extent that they developed. If you can take credit for stopping the activity then certainly you can take credit for allowing the activity to get to the level that it did. Selective responsibilty doesn't work in this scenario.
That said, I am not condemning you for your actions and am glad that you found your moral center (or whatever you'd like to call it) and put a stop to something that you wouldn't feel good about. From your girlfriend's perspective, I don't think she'll jump for joy that it only involved a little groping and kissing. I mean, I wouldn't expect a thank you note, if I were you.
Everybody slips a bit now and then. It's good that you found your footing but I think it's also important to acknowledge your part in the slip up, not just the happy ending.
I think it's also important to acknowledge your part in the slip up, not just the happy ending.
You read the story. You saw my slip-up.
I wrote the story. I posted it.
How do you figure I'm not acknowledging it?
yea...continuing on with what detective said...i think it's good that you did get out of that situation, and i definitely commend you for that. My only problem was that the ending of the post seemed a bit self-righteous, considering what had just happened. You allowed it to escalate to a point...further than I would have let it go, but everyone's different, and it's not my place to try to force my values on you. Sorry for being harsh in the previous posts.
Interesting episode and very well written, I must say.
I can’t say that what you did (or didn’t do) was/is good or bad just wildly interesting. I find that human beings, even the most enlightened, least inhibited by social mores of us, are still very complex individuals and a lot of fun to watch.
I’m wondering: did you think that having a go at it with your ex would consciously announce to your own mind the end of your relationship with your current lady friend? What I’m getting at is: why didn’t you go through with it, exactly?
tj - remembering what it was like to feel that powerful sexual tension between a man and a ‘forbidden’ woman
I ... am glad that you found your moral center and put a stop to something that you wouldn't feel good about. – detective
i think it's good that you did get out of that situation, and i definitely commend you for that. – spender
See?!! That’s what I was talking about on the other thread.
Why is it said that Comf’s eventual action is “moral” or “good”? Why would him having wild, passionate, meaningless sex be “bad” or “immoral”? I’m having a hard time accepting those characterizations, anymore, particularly in the case of people who aren't married. Comf said that his present relationship was on its last legs. Why not put a nail in the... uh... coffin?
Would you have felt "bad", Comf?
Going through with it would have affected others in a bad way. I think that's what determines whether something is "moral" or not. I don't see any point in those kinds of philosophical discussions about things that are concrete. Discussing morals isn't exactly in the same league of discussion of "what is truth?"
Don't let Spender get yer knickers in a twist. He's the same one who tried to bust on JT on another thread, LOL.
Spender, take off your shoes and set a while. Get to know our personalities before passing judgement on words you see on the computer screen.
COMF, I know exactly what you mean. I'm married, but I ain't dead. There's men (some married) that I avoid because no matter what--the chemistry is there. And, above all else, I have always honored the trust between my husband and myself, and so has he.
Shit, I was at a funeral last week. My husband was holding the baby. I look across the church and what do I see? Some trick hitting on him---while he's holding the baby! Years ago, I would have barged over and made it obvious what part of my body she could kiss. But last week, I just laughed, and went back to the business at hand.
Chemistry is nature's way of telling you to procreate. PERIOD. Some women are no better at controlling it then are some men.
That's why you need PEOPLE with high morals, not just "Christians."
Would you mind indulging me, spender?
You said: “Going through with it would have affected others in a bad way.”
Okay, if she’d found out it might have affected his current girlfriend but she would’ve lived. Too, Comf might even have had to deal with a guilty conscience for a while.
But surely, in the scheme of things you recognize that those two possible consequences aren’t really THAT bad. I mean, come on! I assure you, there are worse things in life than having a relationship come to an end and a guilty conscience for boning an ex-girlfriend.