by Godsendconspirator 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Godsendconspirator

    Hey guys. Don't really post here much, mostly just lurk around. So here's just backstory: in 2012, after about half a year of research I decided to leave the organization. I still wanted to maintain contact with the brothers and sisters though so a year ago, I tried to fade out. I guess my fade wasn't smooth enough because after my last meeting, I had a barrage of texts and emails asking where was I and if I was okay and that Jehovah missed me. After that, I got a new job, entered college, took up Muay Thai martial arts and various other things. But now I'm sick of the conditional love they keep offering me. I went to a meeting once since last year and after that we all went to dinner and hung out like old times. But after that, it went to the same thing: friendship based of conditional love.

    Now I have new real friends who know everything about me and still accept who I am. And I feel now that I weened myself off of these guys, I don't feel like I would be too hurt if I never spoke to them again. The question is though is how to go about writing a letter disassociating. I'm done.

    On one hand, I want them to know the real reason I left, the things I've learned just to get everything out there. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to write too much (although it would be) and overwhelm them causing their faith to strengthen.

    How did some of you go about officially disassociating?

  • jgnat

    I never disassociated. Heck, I've never joined. I'll throw in my two cents for what they are worth.

    Other religious organizations don't require formal disassociation. When you are done, you walk away. I think the DA is offered as evidence that the WTS allows people to freely leave. Of course, little is said of the consequences that follow, including shunning.

    I would suggest you save your longer letters to those members of the WTS that you have an affection for. Mail those first.

    For the elders, one sentence. "For personal reasons I no longer wish to be associated with the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society."

  • LostGeneration

    All you have to do is write a letter to the elders telling them you quit.

    But why? Most here say don't play by some silly corporation's rules with delusions of being connected to Jah himself.

    If you must, send your letter to everyone in the JW org except the elders, you can tell your side of the story, but be prepared to be fully shunned and considered an agent of Satan.

  • Giordano

    No we faded but this was back in an era that was more relaxed.

    My understanding is that DF and DA bring about the same result......... being shunned. You can fade away and tell people your too involved in your classes to put in the time JWs expect or that you have doubts and want to avoid stumbling anyone.

    If you search 'DA letters' you can follow some other threads that went into this issue.

  • Gojira_101

    I never sent a letter to the elders, I made a video telling my story and had it posted on Youtube telling them I df them! I know most people don't want their face "out there" but you owe them nothing, so don't play by their games.

  • aposta-Z

    I DA'ed myself. That was about 12 years ago. Just wrote a to the point letter to my local elders (I had moved out in the city from my JW parent's house about one year prior to that).
    I wrote a very to the point letter: "This letter is to inform you that I wish to disassociate myself from the Jehovah's Witnesses' organization. " signed dated. Sent another one to my mum and dad with more details... And yes, you are considered the same way as someone who was DA'd.

    Some folks say why even bother getting DA'ed, just don't play by their rules. I don't know. It makes sense. But again I am glad I did it. They cannot play the You-were-casted-out-you-evil-man card on me. My back is covered.

  • Oubliette

    As a counter to aposta-Z's comments, which I both understand and respect, I offer the following points for your consideration:

    • Why formally disassociate yourself?
    • It implies you acknowledge their authority as legitimate.
  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    We have been fading since last summer. At first I was going to DA but I didn't do it right away and have decided that if I do that I will be playing their sick game. This past week I had three phone calls and two drop by. I answered the phone but never answered the door. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just DA but then it is just a label they love to put on those that don't believe it is the "truth". So far it is working for us to just fade but I think that if they ever wanted to meet with us we would not show up and either let them DF us or go out on our terms and DA, either way the end results is the same, shunning!! I would take your time before deciding what you want to do and weigh your options. We don't answer the door when they come by and usually don't answer the phone when they call. They will get the point and leave you alone eventually.

  • Suraj Khan
    Suraj Khan

    I'm with Oubliette on this one. You don't owe them a thing, much less an explanation. They want you to hang yourself with your justification or your pain, and that plays right in to them being able to keep their "in group" in. Just as sinister as Scientology's "What are your crimes?"

    Don't give in. Don't ever give in to their demands.

    The best thing you can do is walk away and live a good life unencumbered by their lies.

  • DesirousOfChange

    You don't owe them a thing, much less an explanation. The best thing you can do is walk away and live a good life unencumbered by their lies.

    Yep. You no longer have to play by their playbook.


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