SUNDAY and my last illusions

by Terry 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Terry
    Don't we all try to reconnect with old friends? Faded Jw friends? All those memories and years gone by......
    I visited an old friend yesterday afternoon.
    My last memory of her was from over 40 years ago. She had been a startling beauty like Jackie Bisset who was a model, a singer, a talented writer and possessed a wicked
    sense of humor.
    I entered her apartment and sat down among her souvenirs, cats and memorabilia. She was on the other side of a latticed door still applying makeup and chatting away like
    that 15 year old prodigy she once was.
    I had been warned that she had been felled by an affliction or two and would not look the same. However, our recent conversations were as though it had been but mere
    days since our last encounter so vivid and bright was that ravishing humor and personality.
    Finally, the door slowly opened.......
    this little old lady bent double pushing a walker, with great difficulty hobbled forth covered with band aids and strenuously achieving each and every step forward.....

    You know how you can walk out of a darkened room into the full frisson of sunlight and feel alive again? Her life had been the opposite. We did the chit chat and she poured out the cup of her memories as I sipped and choked it all down.

    Her cellphone would ring now and again--always the same voice--interrupting, demanding an accounting of this very visit, insistent and irrepressible. It was her man friend--not at all happy that another male had set foot in "his" domain. She mildly assured and scolded him alternately, then, disengaged and apologized. Every man in her life for as long as she could recall......had been controlling....possessive....a nd rude.
    Even now.

    Eventually, with our visitation at end, we vowed to stay in touch and regather some of the old gang and have a proper reunion. I headed toward the door and she tried to follow as best she could to see me out. We hugged and I peered at her tear-brimmed blue eyes and caught a glimpse of her soul drowning in pain. "So very nice to see you--let's do this again soon...."

    I walked back to my car and sat behind the wheel in stunned anguish. She had told me everything I would not have guessed. Her father's sexual abuse. The drugs and alcohol. The usurious men, failed marriages and fading health. None of us can imagine the end of life from its promising beginnings. So many pitfalls and bruises await. Were I her author the story would have ended much better.

    I started the engine and drove to the highway. The last rays of evening twilight were dying against the horizon.

    Sunday and my last illusions faded into darkness.

  • oppostate

    Thanks Terry for sharing this experience.

    You definitely have a nice way with words that makes it easy to envision what you're sharing.

    I'm sorry about your friends life being so filled with troubles.

    May your bond of friendship with her continue to be a positive in her life and yours as well.

  • zeb


  • Terry

    Quentin and I are trying to round up another person who use to hang out with us when we were up n coming JW teens.

    We'll try to put something together to cheer her.

  • cantleave

    Very sad. Thank you for sharing.

  • Ding

    Sometimes the people who seem to have the world by the tail...

    ... are masking a lot of pain.

  • Terry

    The older I get the more I realize how much people wanted to be necessary and have a purpose.

    Lonliness and a feeling of not mattering strikes almost all the elderly I encounter.

    Physical deterioration and being weighed down by a handful of medications is a genuine kind of hell, for sure.

  • LongHairGal


    I am sorry you were disillusioned when you got together with this lady you knew from way back when.

    It sure is no picnic getting older and it is also disillusioning to look back at your life and wonder how different it would have been if you did this or that. It is also a shock to see people we haven't seen in decades. Some people you will easily recognize. Others, you would need DNA and dental records to know it is them.

    As far as this lady is concerned, sometimes people with the most "promise" in youth don't necessarily end up the happiest. As you mentioned, the multiple marriages, etc. took their toll.

    Sometimes, the wallflower ends up better. Whether somebody is a success or not though, beauty still fades (men as well LOL). But, when somebody has a peaceful life their appearance is softer. Although, a woman is judged harsher by the world for the sin of looking "old". What a screwed up world. Meanwhile, life is harder for the average woman, so it is no surprise that she ages faster than a man.

    Yes, it is true that the elderly worry about loneliness and having a purpose. However, with an economy as bad as this, trying to make it monetarily and keep their head above water is sure to replace that worry in many elderly!

  • Bella15

    Were you romantically involved with her in the past????

  • Sammy Jenkis
    Sammy Jenkis

    Damn Terry, you're a wordsmith! Thanks for sharing.

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