First post venting

by Freethinking76 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • iCeltic

    Welcome :)

    take a deep breath and have a good read on here before doing anything, there's loads of threads about fading and best ways, pro/cons. There's loads of people here who can help, you're in good company.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite


    Sounds like you have a good spouse. The more you are away from the toxic JW environment, the better you will feel.

  • ruderedhead

    Welcome, free!

    It sounds as if you have been through quite a bit. Since you are in a new hall, I would suggest simply flying under the radar for now. You have a supportive spouse & your children, so you will still have your family. Don't go to the hall as that may bring out more jw's to "see how you are doing", and if you have caller i.d., simply don't answer the phone when the jw's call. If you don't have caller i.d., let calls go to your answering machine/voicemail when no one else is home to answer (if it's a jw, they are to be told you can't come to the phone). If one comes to the door, it's simply a very bad time for you to talk. They will probably leave you alone after a while if you don't talk against them. You may find your stress and anxiety levels go down after you get over the initial guilt of not going to the hall or associating with the jw's.

    If you haven't already, please check out That may help to alleviate your guilt as well!

    All the best to you on your journey!

  • Gayle

    Do not go to the new congregation. Why double and prolong your trouble. Fortunately, you have a wonderful wife that will support you away from this harsh religion. You don't want your children to have to grow up in this religion, and just end up also with this low esteem that this religion has burdened on you.

    Glad you are here now. You will realize that many, many have been hurt, and used by the organization. Learn why this organization cannot help you, nor ones at the local Kingdom Halls can help as they too are misdirected and controlled by an organization of arrogant men and only want to control and manipulate ones to serve only an organization, that is only wanting to buildup their Headquarters/Regime.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    FreeThinking , Welcome and vent all you want ! My advice to you is : Now that you have moved never go back ! It is a clean slate for you now ,and your mate has the right idea .If anyone you can not avoid asks, tell them your mate no longer will allow the children to attend .

    Remember this very important point The Jehovah's Witnesses have no power over you ,only what you allow them to have . You owe NO ONE answers to why you have quit attending ,even the Elders .

    You can read many experiences here on how other people have moved on away from the Watchtower control . Give yourself time to figure out who you are ,what interests you would like to pursue ,and get busy living !

    This place is a wonderful place to vent with others that understand ,and a way to unravel the mind numbing nonsense the Wathtower subjected us to .

    Good luck on your journey !

  • Watchtower-Free


  • Ding


  • ABibleStudent

    Welcome Freethinking76, It seems that you have a good plan in place for fading.

    About the only ideas that I can add to your plan is write often on JWN to either vent or ask for more detailed ideas about fading; if you are stuck in a low paying job, get additional education/training to qualify for a better paying job; read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs") with your wife so that you and your wife can discuss his ideas or visit his website , and talk with a cult-exit counselor or counselor who is a psychologist and has read Steve Hassan's books about your pts ,anxiety attacks,panick attacks and severe depression.

    Best of wishes in your fade.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • clarity

    Freethinking ..... I have not been able to access this site for awhile,

    so from where I sit the type is really hope it is readable!

    A huge welcome here to you & your spouse ... do I understand it

    right ........ that you are the wife? not the husband. lol

    You have made a very brave & bold the right direction!

    Do you really see a need to go to the new hall?... if I were you

    I would LET GO NOW ..don't waste anymore of your life!!!!!!!!!

    I wasted 50 years! How sorry am I? ....EXTREMELY!

    Keep posting & digging until you are 100% convinced that this

    organization is nothing more than a business...........

    Watchtower Realestate & Printing Business, ... a big fat CULT!

    You are in great company Freethinking, as there are dozens of NEWBIES

    who have left W this last 2 mths! We are all happy about that... well..

    maybe not the GB haha!



    Quick shout out to Sherrie ..... nice to see you here too! Guess I missed you

    sorry, with my computer being down~


  • SAHS


    “should i go to my new hall a few times before disapering?”

    You have to ask yourself what would happen if everyone did become aware of your attempted fading, and if so, then how much would it really matter to you anyway?

    I know that the big catch is whatever close family relationships you would like to preserve. However, if you have discovered the real truth about the arrogant and corrupt Watchtower organization (as I and many, many others have, and it looks like you have too) and your personal integrity and independence are more important to you than whatever negative consequences might possibly be with your family relationships, then I would say to just go for it! Yes, in that case I would say to just cut the umbilical cord to that artificial and very much contrived “mother organization” (try finding that word, “organization,” in the Bible!), the ridiculous and oppressive precepts of which have been thrust upon people without question – cut it right off and set yourself free! Remember, you owe it to yourself to be free. And if any so-called “friends” can’t except that, then you know that they were never really “friends” to begin with.

    And when that day comes when you can get completely out of the prison, with it’s spying Watchtowers and its secretive agents and informants, then you can just take a deep breath and finally say, Good riddance!

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