I have to take my daughter to the meeting...

by iCeltic 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • iCeltic

    My daughter is visiting me from the UK and wants me to take her to the meeting, which I will do, but it's f'in killing me :( sat here crying for an hour, how pathetic is that. The last time I spoke to her about the J Dub she nearly had a breakdown. What to do..

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Feign a migraine?

  • Simon

    iCeltic: are you the same Celtic we once met? (ruddy balmpot). Just curious ...

    Tough to know what is best to do without really knowing what makes people tick. One option is to take her (why 'have to' ?) and try to reverse-witness.

    Other option is to take her sonewhere awesome, lovely father-daughter picnic somewhere beautiful and create a great memory for her to treasure.

    You could also be open and explain the hurt and conflict you're feeling and difficulty knowing what is the 'right' thing to do.

  • slimboyfat

    I don't see it is that big a deal. You don't need to go in with her do you? Just drop her off. Let her decide whether she wants to go or not. Trying to stop her from going if she wants to go would simply confirm JW expectations of bad apostate behaviour. If she meets no resistance then she may turn out to have little interest in going to the meetings anyway.

  • iCeltic

    Simon, no, that must be someone else.

    slim, it's a big deal when it's your child. No, I dnt need to go and I won't, that's not what's getting to me. It's fine, just venting.

  • slimboyfat

    If she goes all the time when she is home anyway. It is probably best to be cool about it. A little bit of "opposition" might be just enough to turn an apathetic teen into a zealous JW if not careful.

  • Gayle

    what 'fun' things can you both do instead? Museum, movie, a long beautiful drive and picnic, sing-a-long songs (not jw songs) ???

  • blondie

    This would be a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate her faith an trust in the love of the organization and call jws unknown to her at the KH to give her a ride. I would drop her off on the other case and call me when she needs to be picked up or arrange a time.

  • earthfire

    How old is she? If her dad is a JW and typically takes her to the meetings but she is still young, then you should also be able to help educate her about other options in spirituality. If she's young I wouldn't let her be at the meeting alone because sexual abuse could happen. It probably won't but you never know.

    I have two younger brothers. When my parents divorced my dad won physical placement (he had all the money and a new wife, my mom had nothing to fight with since he took it all) So my one brother was heavily pressured and ended up writing our mom a letter when he was 15 that he didn't want to see her anymore. It broke her heart but she didn't want to force him to come visit. That was a huge mistake because now he' 36, a missionary, an elder and he has nothing to do with her. My other brother wrote the letter when he turned 18, he's now 27. They each have two year old sons that I got to meet briefly at our half-sisters wedding but our mom has never met her grandsons. So if she could do it over, she'd have definitely made different choices.

    I'd check into Steve Hassan's book and maybe get some advice on what to do.

    But I'd also be careful on what materials you show her. My mom tried to show my youngest brother some old watchtowers and Crisis of Conscience. That scared him and the plan backfired.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi iCeltic, Why does your daughter want to go to the KH? Does she know anyone at a KH near you? What other activities does your daughter like to do? Can't you do all those other activities that your daugther doesn't do in the UK instead?

    Instead of going to the KH suggest that you and your daughter have a home bible study that you can do anytime and then go out and have a wonderful time together.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


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