How Do I Reply?

by Stubborn Disbeliever 12 Replies latest social family

  • Stubborn Disbeliever
    Stubborn Disbeliever

    So my grandma just wrote me out of the blue today. I haven't written her in about a month, maybe two. All I did was send 2 or 3 pictures of the kids in reply to a message about not having any recent pictures of them. Every few months she will either email or call on Skype. Then stops talking for a few months. I've been posting some "apostate" things on my facebook lately (My bff Shyla "Gojira"'s "coming out" video). My dad and brother are on my fb, but I do believe it's more of a spying on me type of thing. So after posting the video yesterday, I get the email thismorning from my grandma. This is what it said:

    "I was sorry to hear that you felt I condemned you to hell, because of not coming back to Jah.
    Nothing could be farther from the truth. It hurt me. I am sorry if I have hurt you in some way.
    I have always wanted the best for you. And especially now with your having another child.
    Children are a blessing from God, you were a blessing to me...what happened? How have I hurt you? You are breaking my heart. Sorry if our love for you wasn't enough. I still wish you peace."

    Ok, seriously. What a sly way to put a little more salt on the guilt-flavoring, right?! If you look back a few posts in this forum, you'll see her reaction to my pregnancy announcement (titled, "God Forbid!!"). JWs don't cherish pregnancy, they look down on having children.

    I'm not sure where she "heard" that I said she condemned me to hell, but it was probably through spying on my facebook from my dad or little brother. I have been quite open with the reposts.

    Another issue I have, why can't they own up to anything? This has been 11+ years of me telling her that she can just stop talking to me if she's going to bring up "Paradise" and "Armageddon" and how much she loves me and how much money she has invested in me only for me to not be able to live with her forever. I know I'm not going to get through to her, which is why I haven't answered her questions. She hasn't hurt me, by the way, I know it's the cult and the control they have on her (and the rest of my cuckoo family).

    I don't know where I want to go with this. I just want her to either just stop emailing completely or just stop with the guilt. It doesn't work on me, I don't feel guilty, it's just annoying to hear.

    So, should I respond? If yes, then what do I say? How do I reply to her? If no, then why? I know if I just don't reply, she'll try writing eventually. My birthday is Sunday, so I know I should be hearing from her at least one more time since she has to remind me it's my bday every year lol.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi Stubborn Disbeliever, It sounds like you would not regret being shunned by your grandma.

    If you want your grandmother to shun you, I would send her videos directly that you post on FB with a note that you will continue to send her those types of videos until she respects your rights to be loved unconditionally by her and to believe what you want to believe. If she wants to promote the WTBTS to you then you will send her videos of how the WTBTS has victimized JWs.

    Best wishes in living your life as an individual and not a drone.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • Kojack57

    Yeah they love to use that expression "your breaking my heart" must be something they are told to say to us when we let them know our true feelings about the CULT. My daughter said the same thing to me.

    I don't know if you guys watch NCIS on T.V. With Gibbs smacking Dinoso in the back of the head when he says stupid crap. Makes me want to smack Cult members in the back of the head and tell them to "WAKE THE HELL UP. SNAP OUT OF IT"

    Save that quilt trip for other people who don't know TTATT.

  • jgnat

    Is she toxic? Then you have a right to protect yourself.

    I would only bother to reply if she is not toxic and you think you can reach her.

    You could simply block her e-mail account. Instant peace.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I'd tell her that I (you) never left Jehovah. Nor has he left you. It is his desire that all men (& women) be saved. (NWT says all "sorts"). That means that YOU qualify. Remind her of what she said 11 years ago and how thankful you are that you didn't put your life on hold waiting for Armageddon. Ask her if she still believes that she is going to live through Armageddon into Paradise. Then ask her why she thinks she is more special than the "millions" that Rutherford prophesied would never die.

    Jehovah does condemn false prophets. She should be careful NOT to become subject to his wrath for following one.


  • Oubliette

    Respond to her authentic self, ignore the cult identity. Simply refuse to engage on topics which you do not want to discuss. It's what they do.

  • sarahsmile

    Wow she apologized cool.

    Dear Grandma:

    Reaffirm how you feel. Happy to hear that you think children are a blessing from God. I was under the impression you thought I should be on birth control pills and never have children because armageddon was coming. Can you imagine how hurtful that is to me knowing I enjoy children. Also,I do not plan to raise my children with Armageddon or hopes of paradise on earth. Please stop with the annoying guilt trips because I already know them and it is a waste of your time. I am very much burned out on the guilt trips and people placing fears about the end of the world blah blah blah. I could careless. There is only one judge, Jesus and I am not in the position to say who will live or die through Armageddon. And I will do mine worry free I sometimes think Jehovahs Witnesses are too much trained to talk about the future instead of enjoying the time we have together. I am very happy that I recgonized how important it is to live my life on a daily bases enjoying my family with love instead of guilt trips.

    How are you grandma and your health? What have you been doing? What did you plant in your garden? ( something she likes to do)I look forward to building a new relationship with you. Please feel free to keep in touch because you are important to me and I love u. Bye for now.

    The above is an example, I always try to put my demands or bad news in the middle and leave the last sentence positive, sweet coat the end. Remember what ever you state on email it is a record a long time. hope that helps you some.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    I have no idea what to suggest that you say. I can only speak from my perspective if my pregnant wife had received such a message. And I would write my message to grandpa.


    Dear G-ma,

    I love you. The WTBTS has become a corporation. They knowingly lie to you. They violate their own standards as to what constitutes "truth" based on the God's Word is Truth DC. Please do a thorough investigation of the WTBTS starting at the beginning. I would be happy to help you. Don't let fear keep you from "making sure of all things."



  • Stubborn Disbeliever
    Stubborn Disbeliever

    Sarahsmile, I can see myself writing something like that...although, DATA-DOG, I would LOVE to add that in there! Billy the Ex-Bethelite, my grandpa has lost most of his vision to macular degeneration the past 2 years, so my grandma would end up reading it anyways. Lol. But yeah. I am going to mull it over a bit. It's my birthday tomorrow, so next week I'll think about writing her. She hasn't written again, and I'm kind of surpised, but thank you all for the input!

    I don't want to completely break her heart, but she has already shunned me 90%, it's just that 10% that keeps coming around twice a year or so to buy us something and then throw in guilt trips. I think this time around she's realizing that it's just not working. Her initial reaction about the pregnancy was shot down pretty quickly when she saw how happy our daughters and I were. My grandpa left the room right away. Just funny how children are such a horrible thing. My great grandma (other grandma's mom) was practically shunned when they got pregnant with my grandma, and they were what is now known as district overseers! Back in the 1930s! Glad they don't believe in abortion because I'm glad I have my other grandma, mom, and uncles, and ultimately myself and my kids! lol. I just sit in awe looking at posts on here and how ridiculous this cult is once you really look.

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