Great blog!
Human Apostates and the Power of the Internet
by SeventhSojourn 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Thor
Hi ApostateChick and welcome!
It's so true that most of us do not want to cause any trouble or cause divisions of any kind, we just want to be free to think and live our lives the way we want to.
Thank you for your You-Tube post!
Mrs. Thor
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westiebilly11
a breath of fresh air.....exactly how I feel...just wish jws would stand back and take a reality check ....
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minimus
Apostate Chick, I watched 6 minutes and then decided I didn't care what you were talking about because I was getting mesmerised by your beauty....Bad Minimus!
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sd-7
Apostate Chick--I, too, watched 6 minutes of said video, but having drank deeply of the dark side, I was content to be fascinated by your mind rather than merely your beauty (though, I just had this thought of Wonder Woman all of a sudden). I only stopped watching to conserve bandwidth, I shall have to catch the rest of it later.
Anyway, you nearly made me cry. What you said really is at the heart of why we're so concerned about these kinds of talks being given at convention programs.
This brings to mind an unpleasant discussion I recall having with my JW wife (you can read my story, it's all over this site on my threads, just click on my username and 'Topics Started' (the judicial committee threads called 'Borg Court' [on page 5 or 6 of my Topics Started] were particularly action-packed)) about this sort of thing. She couldn't understand why I was having trouble separating her from her beliefs. And it's because of this--she is literally being trained to view me, her husband that she has vowed to love and cherish, as Satan's MasterChef, to put it simply, and somehow I should be completely unaffected by it? I should sit there at programs with our children and subject my very nature to absolute character assassination with slurs, innuendos, name-calling and straw men offered up as proof?
See, she doesn't have the right to disagree with that assessment; no matter what kindnesses I perform as a husband and a father, she must view me as this monster because that's what came down from the platform and blared out of the speakers to 6,000 people. That's what's in the literature (a lot of that talk was cut-and-pasted, word for word, from last year's Watchtower article and the Reasoning book). Whereas I have the option to view her differently based on how she treats me and the way she cares for our kids and our home. It's hard, but I have that option. That's where we differ.
It's hard to respect beliefs that require intolerance and this sort of vitriol towards people. And honestly, it's hard to respect people who cling to this sort of reasoning and fail to see the emotional impact of it on the objects of such vitriol. It's worse still to know that they actually view such hateful speech as "a form of discipline" that will hopefully "bring us to our senses". So it's not just tacit approval by one's family--it's participation in it on their part.
But I'm glad this video is out there. Just hearing part of the talk gave me the phobias all over again, like I was sitting there in the midst of it. I can usually stomach reading the literature but not so much the talks.
Anyway, glad you're fighting the good fight. Thank you!
--sd-7
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sd-7
Okay, I couldn't resist watching the rest. Wow...it's such an emotional thing we've all had to go through. So many stories I've heard from so many people, and it reminds me that I was probably pretty fortunate in my own way.
So that I wouldn't struggle with the same emotions you expressed about your mom, I pretty much had to shut myself down emotionally and be as detached as possible. I have no real relationship with my mom, haven't heard from my brother in ages, haven't heard from or seen my aunt or my cousins in years. If I thought about that, really thought about it, I probably couldn't accept it. But I reached a point where I no longer cared. I felt like...if they're willing to shun me, then I have no room in my heart for them ever again. Emotional overload in the end just forced me to become a cold person and empty out as many of my emotional attachments as possible.
But you definitely made me smile when you spoke of living an authentic life. Ultimately that's what we win back when we start thinking for ourselves.
It's clear that JWs are not individually evil people, but there is evil in the ideas being promoted from the top down. I knew someone who became an 'apostate' years ago, and I figured that probably whoever convinced her--she was really smart--to leave the JWs must've been very smart indeed to do so. But I left it alone because I knew such thoughts weren't an option. But as I read more in the Watchtower about apostates--in fact I was even assigned to give a talk on that subject years ago--I realized that there really wasn't much of anything specific that they were doing wrong. It was almost entirely an attack on their personality traits. I especially noticed that there was this unhealthy fear of apostates that said to me, what are you so afraid of? What is it they know that's so dangerous?
So when I was emotioinally fed up, the light finally came on that something was wrong, and 4 years ago, I made the choice to open that door and find out what this was all about. It's been a bumpy ride, but worth the trouble, to be sure.
I hope you find comfort in your freedom. Thanks again.
--sd-7
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sd-7
Great blog!
I agree. That is a great blog! Wow, your story about the 'master' and the 'Your Youth' book sounds so familiar to me! I read the heck out of that chapter on my own. (Young People Ask had TWO chapters--I practically memorized 'em.) We studied it when I was all of 9 years old, and it still took me two more years to figure out what it was talking about. It was nothing but guilt and war with myself ever since then...you were insightful indeed to have figured out so much so young.
Classic!
--sd-7
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ABibleStudent
Thanks for sharing SeventhSojourn.
Articulate, logical, passionate, and moving video, ApostateChick. Welcome to JWN . I hope that more exJWs watch your video and see your courage. Have you thought about contacting Rick Simons, Candace Conti's attorney, about you sueing the WTBTS. Rick Simons : Office - 510-582-1080 Ext. 19 or [email protected]?
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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Adventurousone
Welcome ApostateChick:
Well done video, my husband and I watched it together. It brought tears to our eyes. It's such a sad thing you or anybody has to
go through being in the organization. Glad you brought it out I know it probably was difficult to do, but well needed.
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SeventhSojourn
SD-7 - Thank you for expressing yourself. You have furthered my appreciation and understanding of the personal conflicts and emotional agonies inflicted without cause or merit on innocent people like you. All the unnecessary pain and crap heaped upon you, and the manipulation of your loved ones.
...she is literally being trained to view me, her husband that she has vowed to love and cherish, as Satan's MasterChef, to put it simply, and somehow I should be completely unaffected by it? ...she must view me as this monster because that's what came down from the platform and blared out of the speakers to 6,000 people.
The flip side to this is that their character assassination doesn't always ring true with those that really know you. Eventually they may become uncomfortable with the unchristian-like public attack, and deep down see it for what it really is - reckless speech and outright lies. This could plant doubts and concerns that grow over time. We've seen this happen. I think the GB is moving closer to the expiration date of this strategy.
But I reached a point where I no longer cared. I felt like...if they're willing to shun me, then I have no room in my heart for them ever again. Emotional overload in the end just forced me to become a cold person and empty out as many of my emotional attachments as possible.
This just kills me that it would come to that for you. I read your story and noticed you've contributed a lot to the community here. You've proven yourself a sensitive and caring person. One thing though, if I may - Keep fighting for control of yourself and your life. Don't let the GB/Org shape who you are or want to be, even if by proxy through j-bot friends and family. Thanks again for your comments.
SeventhSojourn