by ronweasley 22 Replies latest social relationships
Are you planning on continuing your bisexual escapades? Or are you done as long as your burning down the house with Romilda? (Dude, were you on crack when you came up with that fake name!!!)
Everyone (except virgins) have a past. Full Disclosure is highly over-rated.
My suggestion. Bring up the subject about someone gay. And from her response you can judge how opened minded she is. THEN, at a later time, talk to her and be honest with her. But make sure you (like the JW's say) "alter the delivery to fit the person". Now a few extra things here: (1) you've only known this girl a short amount of time, and you're still in the "honeymoon" phase. (2) I agree with above, if you plan on sticking with this girl for the rest of your life, you are not going to be a practicing bisexual (3) it's way too early in the relationship to talk about being together for the rest of your life (4) she may get super paranoid that you are bringing up the subject because you have the potential to cheat on her with a guy. So wait till the house fire cools down, then try to figure out what YOU want (and be honest). who knows, it may lead to some pretty hot threeway scenarios if you play your cards right. lol. -James backseatdevil.com
Someone told me a general rule about fetishes that I think would apply in this situation. If you're comfortable enough to fart around her, then you're comfortable enough to tell her your deepest sexual thoughs.
Congrats on finding a woman! Feels great after absinance :)
I'd say it depends on what makes you happy. If being bi is part of who YOU are, then you shouldn't change that for anyone. If she can't love you for being you, kick that one the curb. Plenty of fish out there that will appreciate something like that. I know a couple where the wife really gets off on watching her hubby with other guys. Those desires won't go away, no matter how much you TRY to supress them. I told my girl what I wanted from the get-go. Now when I want something, I get it. Matter o fact, she's got a hot little friend coming over tomorrow afternoon for a "PLAYDATE" so to speak. Ask and you shall receive
Backseatdevil hit the nail on the head with the threeway info, play your cards right my friend
Hi ronweasley, I would be straight up- honest with her if you really do care about her. If she is special to you never hide anything from her as she'll distrust you down the road when she finds out. I'm not sure how you can tell her, maybe have her over to your place for drinks- something casual and give her the info.
Best wishes,
Telling her the truth now also shows that you care enough for her not to blindside her if she becomes attached to you later.
Sounds like you care for her, which means there's no harm in waiting to tell her, let the chemistry build up, 'pair bond', tell her later when she knows you more deeply
Be honest, if you want you can introduce to her the concept of polyamory so you don't have to feel left out on one side of the coin. Trust me, girls think guy-on-guy actions is HOT, you never know she might want to join you.
Wow, I kind of feel bad for RonW because of some of these answers. I am not bisexual, so I do not speak from personal experience. However, I don't get the suspiciousness with which bisexual people are received among both straight and gay people. People who are bisexual are not oversexed, sexual lunatics. Some may be but that could be true for some people of any sexual orientation. Being bisexual is about an attraction to both sexes, and there are degrees of bisexuality. I think of it more in terms of bisexualities in the plural, as there are many types and ways of being bi.
People who are bi can be monogamous. Just like anyone, bisexual people can fall in love and be with the one they love. Straight people and gay people and bi people all find other people other than their partners attractive. But to be dedicated to someone in a monogamous way, that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
The things people brought up in this thread about all kinds of topics from AIDS to monogamy to selfishenss to dishonesty. Wow, there were just so many assumptions on this thread. I'm suprised a bit by the level of bias and prejudice.
For me, I would care much more about the "loyalty factor" that jgnat wrote about. Whether or not they were bi wouldn't be an issue for me.
@laverite:
I am heterocurious (currently) - not all the way bi but not all the way hetero either. My advice is to tell her and be open to any type of response and idea in the world of sexuality. Coming from the closeted JWs, the world is wide open and half of it you haven't even heard of yet.
Monogamy just like heterosexuality is a sexual orientation and I've found that most people THINK they are both but they really aren't or shouldn't be and once they explore that aspect, they are surprised. Monogamy is mainly a social/religious concept, Homonidae are generally NOT monogamous, socially they may appear to be for whatever political reason, but they still mate regularly outside their own social bonds. A lot of humans are serially monogamous (which is a form of polygamy).
I do not identify as monogamous nor heterosexual. I have found out that the best way of handling this is be open from the start, it can be difficult at first but people are a lot more open than you think they are especially if they love you. Tell them everything even if it's a dream or a fantasy, you never know what may come of it. Two of my three partners are bisexual, they found that it's easier to maintain and have fulfilling relationships when both aspects of their sexuality are satisfied.
Truth is, I tell my partners who and what I am and what I am interested in and more often than not I find that most of my partners are open for exploration.
