I have found a girlfriend, but there is something I've been hiding from her

ronweasley

All is well and good in my life right now :) With one small catch... I have a secret that I have hidden from my girlfriend.
For the first time since coming out of the bOrg, I have found romance. I was lucky to meet a girl called Romilda (name has been changed), and we get on like a house in fire. We have been in a relationship for a few days now, but some of my friends have pointed out that I should be honest with her and be straight about my sexuallity. I am openly bisexual man, but Romilda doesn't know this.
I am afraid that she may leave me if she finds out about my sexuality. But really, is it even worth mentioning? Yes I like men and women, and have experimented with both genders, but have found that I would rather be in a relationship with a woman.

If it is worth mentioning, how exactly would I go about this? I really have no idea. :(

jgnat

If you are getting on like a house on fire, vaue her enough to let her know. Then you'll know if this is a fling or has some staying power. What's your loyalty factor when you are with the one you love? I'm betting most women care more about that.

Julia Orwell

If you want to commit to her you can't go off with men when you feel like it so you'll have to suppress your bi side to make the relationship work. A lot depends on the woman as to how she'll react. I'd tell her upfront because how horrible would it be if she got really attached and then found out and wanted to leave? Better to tell her sooner and give her the choice sooner. My husband told me some things about himself early in our relationship of a different nature though, and I really respected him for it. And look at us, we've been together three years. Best to be honest from the beginning.

Stealth

You should be honest and tell her.

A few years ago my neighbor put his house up for sale. The house sold, but not yet closed. One day we were in our yard when a realtor drove up and then another car with a young man, the both went into the house next door. We did not think anything of it since the for sale sign was still in the yard.

About 10 minutes later, my neighbor drove up, came over and we chatted for a few minutes, then we said something about the showing of his house, he looked a bit surprised... walked over to his house, went in, and to his surprise, there was the young guy on the floor letting the realtor enter the back door.

Needless to say this freaked him out and he went off on them doing the dirty in his house. Turns out the realtor had a wife and children at home but also liked men and would often do this in houses that he knew were sold. How would this guys wife feel if she didn't know he was bi?

Would you want something like this to happen to your new friend years down the road?

Be honest and tell her the truth even if she leaves. Not telling her is selfish and dishonest on your part.

ABibleStudent

Hi ronweasley, Be honest with her about your sexuality, what protective measures that you use, and whether you like multiple partners concurrently. Who knows, she may be willing to accept your past behavior, because she may feel that being with her will help you to become a better person. Not telling her will only make things worse, unless you both get past the infatuation stage of your relationship at the same time.

If she decides to stay with you, she may want you to make changes in your life style. How would you react if she wanted you to be monogamous with her and wear double protection until she is satisfied that you did not have AIDS? If you would not be willing to make changes in your life style to satisfy her desires, then get ready for a little heart break.

Peace be with you and eveyrone, who you love,

Robert

zeb

Do you have ..love for this person? then there is trust? Then at an appropriate time tell her. and take note of the loving advice given above.

Adventurousone

Hello Ronweasley:

Have you ever heard honesty is the best policy. Just think how much better you will feel telling her, even if she doesn't stick around,

you'll know you did the right thing buy telling her. Good Luck.

whathappened

I agree, if you don't tell her upfront and it is a deal breaker for her, she will be very hurt and angry. She has the right to know who she is falling in love with, does she not?

Hortensia

I don't know. What's the hurry? You haven't known this woman long, I'd give it a month or so. Does everyone confess their past dating history to each new date that soon? Is it any of their business, anyway? I can see that eventually you'll have to let her know you've dated both sexes, but you barely know the girl right now.

Could be wrong, but that's how it seems to me.

ronweasley

Thank you all! I have limited time to actually read all of these fantastic comments, but I got the gist of it soon enough :)
Problem solved. I have told her that I am bisexual, and at first she said it's wierd, but she still wants to stay with me and give things a go. Great success :D :D :D

I have found a girlfriend, but there is something I've been hiding from her

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